So, it's been over three years since we split and I'm long past the acceptance stage. Since then, I've dated, advanced my career, and am doing a fine job raising my son as a single father. I'm over it, yet, I have this feeling I'll never meet anyone that could compare to her. I basically feel that, unless I can find something like what her and I once had, I'd rather be single the rest of my life.

I can't go back & re-live my childhood with someone else, or be each others first love, and it's going to be a long time before I can say of another woman that I've been with her half my life. She was a model, and could easily be a professional singer. We used to perform music on stage together all the time, and had similar interests, values and personality.

Obviously, we didn't have the fairy tale ending, and the sudden, surprise end to our marriage left me devastated. Took me a year to accept it and move on with my life.

Since I married my childhood sweetheart, I'd never experienced the dating scene 'til a few years ago. The relationships I've had since, have reinforced the idea that I may have already found and lost the love of my life. Granted, they weren't all bad and one lasted nearly a year, but it just wasn't the same.

My observation of many single women, (at least in my age group) is that they're too quick to get with a new guy and it doesn't last long. Have enough of these short lived relationships and it becomes the routine, a game, and many women have gotten pretty good at it, even if they're not intentionally playing. I'm not willing to get involved with someone caught up in this cycle.

So, I guess now I'm picky and have high standards, but I'm willing to wait for a quality relationship even if it means passing up a **** or two

Hey there....

Wow....that was pretty deep. I liked it though. I was where you were. I had my first love. She wasn't my childhood sweetheart but, she was my first love. We were together for 2 and a half years and it was long distance. I think that was pretty good actually. Like you, every relationship I've had since then has went down the drain. My first love and I broke up when I was 19 years old. I was devistated after that one. I know it was only 2 years but, we were so close at heart and I loved her so much. Since then I've been with women with an expectancy of like 5 to 6 month relationships. I was getting not sad but, EXTREMELY depressed and angry. For two years I was single. Didn't even look at a girl, hardly talked to ANY of them and didn't go out on dates. Well, after that I put my big boy pants on and tried again. Still no luck but....I was getting older and I calmed down a lot more. After my worst break up in the world.....she came along, picked me up and dusted me off and said "GET UP!!!" She is now in my life after a year and a half. I met her in the strangest place too.....XBox Live.....she was just a friend who I became friends with. We talked a long time on Xbox, then started calling each other. Now...we're together and I KNOW I love her more than I loved my first love! I think....in my opinion....that you should not give up. Your angel is on your shoulder like mine was. Don't expect it.....live life and don't look for it. Don't wait, good things come. Hey, it took me 25 yrs to get where I am now and the both of us are talking about marriage now. We have a little bit but, I know I do plan on asking her when I get the money to buy her a ring. I hope I'm not depressing you brother....so I'll shut up now. Just, do me a favor, don't give up please....it will come...TRUST me. Love is for everyone and I believe that now. Your son should come TOTALLY first....before any woman in your life. Love him like you've never loved anyone. He needs you. Concentrate on him for a while and I'll BET YOU ANYTHING....she'll come in your life. GOD doen't give us any task that we can't handle..... He doesn't help those who don't help themselves...as my mom always said and I believe her. I wish you the best my friend. If you need anyone to talk to.....feel free to contact me ANY time. I never turn my back on anyone who needs someone to talk to.... :)

It's a delusional stage due to fond memories and, your heart. Once you clear both, you will be able to see that another woman has the potential to be a partner with you.

$.02

HMM, I'm in a somewhat similar place. For about 10 years now, I've been in a constant on-again-off-again scenario with the only girlfriend I've ever had who was really compatible.

And as much as I'd like to be able to put a stop to the whole thing, to end it once and for all and just move on, I haven't been able to do it. No one else interests me the way she does, no one else so completely captivates my mind the way she does. She is brilliant, the most intelligent person I've ever met, creative beyond compare (she did the covers for my first two books), fun, quirky, and never ever boring.

Unfortunately, she only seems to "need" me when her life falls apart, and I'm the one who has to put everything back together.

I would love to be able to feel this way about someone else. But everyone else I've been involved with, both before her and after her, is little more than a ghost of a mannequin by comparison.

It makes things difficult --

Thank you for saying that. I was trying to think of how to write that gently. I agree completely.

Love and fond memories Lex...No one will ever replace or, compare to her. You need a "new" kind of puppy. A different type of woman to find happiness with. One with different talents and,capabilities.

I've had my own realization just recently.

IMO; you need to stop comparing. No two people/relationship mirror each other; they are all unique in their own way(s).

Think of it this way, if it was that "perfect" you'd still be together, unless there was an unfortunate occurrence i.e. death.

You should be selective and have your standards.

Best,

Thanks to the wonders of Facebook I have had the opportunity to connect with two boyfriends from my past. One was my very first boyfriend. The boy I lost my virginity too and I had always held him up as being my first true love. And, he was. He obviously felt the same about me and wanted desperately to get together now.

What I learned from meeting both those guys again is that we always romanticize the past. Our memories are quite often not reality. And the past is better left there....in the past.

Very good. Hold the sweet memories in your heart but, accept the relationship for what it truly was.

^^^I have to agree with this.....we all evolve during our lifetime. How we thought when we were 20, 25, 30, and so is entirely different than we do now, etc.....

Each experience/relationship has it own "value" in our life.

Very true...we change a little bit every day.

To the op...setting very high standards may lead you to being alone. Noone is perfect. I hope you find the right women for you and best of luck...

Intellectually, I know you're right.

It's just so difficult to find anyone even remotely interesting or compatible where I'm living now....