1. If you think you’re fat. You Probably are. Don’t ask us.

2. Learn to work the toilet. If it’s up, put it down.

3. Don’t cut your hair. Ever.

4. Birthdays, valentines and anniversaries are not quests

5. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to,
expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

6. Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.

7. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as naval lint, football, beer and monster trucks.

8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it’s not different, it’s just like
any other cat.

9. Dogs are better than any cat PERIOD.

10. Sunday= sports. It’s like the moon, or the changing of the
tides. Let it be!

11. Shopping is not a sport.

12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

13. You have enough clothes.

14. You have too many shoes.

15. Crying is black mail. Use itif you must, but don’t expect us to
like it.

16. Your brother is an idiot, ex-boyfriend is an idiot,
and your dad probably is too.

17 Ask for what you want. Subtle hints won’t work.


18. No. we don’t know what day it is. And never will.

19 Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

20. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing
from point blank range,

21. Most guys own two or pairs of shoes.

22. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing
which pair, out of thirty would look good with
your new dress.


23. Yes and no are perfectly good answers.

24. A headache that lass for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.


25. Your mother doesn’t have to be our best friend.


26. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

27. Check your oil.

28. Don’t give us 50 rules, when 25 will do.

28. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.

29. It is neither in yours or our best interest to read
these rules together.


30. Any thing we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible
in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7
days.

31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
and one of the ways makes you sad and angry,
we meant the other way.

32. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how
can we know how pretty you are.

33. The relationship is never going to be like the first
two months we were going out.

Ohhhhhhhhh Tom,,, Come here alittle closerrrrrrrrrrrrr,,,
<<<<< ( smacks Tom in the Back of the Head)
Sheshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Rules Huhhhhhhhhhh

half of those are grossly inaccurate.

"9. Dogs are better than any cat PERIOD."
True.

Unless its a lap dog. In which case any cat is better. Hell, even a
hamster is better.

"10. Sunday= sports. It’s like the moon, or the changing of the
tides. Let it be!"
And Saturday, September through December.

College football. Go Huskers!

doesnot even deserve a comment

steps in, reads, slowly sneaks out the door, giggling

UK IF YOU WERE CLOSER ID.......??? U!!!

Good one!

i like kitties better...

<=============================

HMMMMMMMMMMMMM...Now I have to do the oppostite of all these rules JUST
to be a rebel!!!!!!!!!

Tom....

This was WAYYYYYYY so bad, I'm gonna smack you like Denise....

geeeeeeeeeeesh, is all I have to say

Peeking! Nope out again! Ain't getting into this! Sorry bud! On your
own!

haaaaaaaaaaa! I smack ya!

UK now look what you did! lmao but it was funny to read but i'm glad i'm
not in your shose lol

Ya think this was tough? Check out the other thread of the rules women
have for us guys.

ne guy that goes by half of these, i think ur a butt!

What is it? Oh Yeah, what goes around comes around ladys

After posting the FIFTY yes FIFTY rules that you women have for us guys,
here is a new and revised list found on the wall of the same club.



1. If you think you might be fat, you are. Don't ask us. Just get your
fat arse in a gym.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put the f*cker down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever. It causes arguments when we comment on it.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we
can find the perfect present.......again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Anyone can buy condoms.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every
other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats.
10. Sunday = Football/Soccer/Rugby/Any other sport. It's like the full
moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not a sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough clothes.
14. You have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like
it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is a twat and your Dad
probably is too.
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries
on a calendar.
19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than pissing from point
blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most blokes own two to three pairs of shoes, what makes you think
we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, that would look
good with your dress?
21. Yes, No and Mmm are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Now.
23. Your Mum doesn't have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil. It is an essential part of the car.
26. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
months we were going out.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
All comments become null and void after 7 days.
29. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed
makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter
us from reading the magazines.
30. The male models with the great bodies you see in magazines are all
gay. Face it.
31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how
pretty you are?
33. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
34. Consider Sport a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you
do.
35. Women wearing Wonderbras, low-cut blouses, tight tops, no jackets,
chest level logo'd t-shirts etc. etc. lose their right to complain about
having their boobs stared at.
36. When we are in bed and look tired this means that we are tired and
does not mean that we want to discuss the relationship.
37. If you want some dessert after a meal - order some. You don't have
to finish it. You can just taste it if you like but don't say "No, I
couldn't/shouldn't/don't want any" and then eat half of mine.
38. Dieting doesn't work without exercise.
39. If you're on a diet it doesn't mean my meals should be rabbit-food
nouvelle-cuisine style. A man's four essential food groups are: white
meat, red meat, cold beer and more cold beer. Please ensure all meals
contain a good balance of the above in good quantities - everything else
falls under the category 'garnish'.
40. Do not question our sense of direction.