How To Spot A Good Girl/Woman -- 15 Things
To Look For
By Yangki Christine Akiteng, Love Doctor



Many of my clients lately are men who have at some point or other in their lives been deceived and dazed by a woman's looks. Many of them have wasted countless hours and spent small fortunes chasing after women who lied to them and basically treated them like dirt. Some regret the lost opportunity to the marry a woman who was not exactly physically attractive but was a good woman.

There is really no "standard" litmus test for telling right away that a woman is "a good woman" or one of those "other" ones.

Here are just a few things to look for when you meet or date a girl/woman:

1. She has an open and welcoming smile that goes beyond the surface deep inside her eyes -- the window to her soul. Her eyes and her whole demeanor kind of "lights up" when you walk into the room or towards her.

2. She let's you be you. She does not want to change you - clean you up, re-make you or rename you etc - so she can love you but accepts you just the way you are.

3. She genuinely enjoys your company - isn't afraid to ask for it or tell you that she enjoys being around you. Being around her feels like being around your best friend because you can truly be just yourself -- no feeling like you're always walking on egg-shells or trying too hard to please (and always coming short). The experience of being around her is "satisfying" in its own.

4. She goes out of her way to do things she thinks will make you happy. She's the woman who'll call you just to say "hi" or "I was thinking of you" however busy/tired she is.

5. She is independent and secure within herself. She does not need constant attention and does not put pressure on you to feed her self-esteem, anxiety or worries about the future.

6. She's there for you when it's up and when it's down. She's happy out in an expensive restaurant just as she's happy sitting next to you on the couch, doing nothing.

7. She does what she says she will do. She does not play mind games but lets you know where you stand because she cares enough to treat others the way she'd like to be treated.

8. She believes that a relationship should be a 50/50 give-and- take partnership. With her it's not always "Me, me, me" but "we" and "us". Not only does she believe in a 50/50 give-and- take partnership, she takes her 50% part of the partnership seriously.

9. She shows respect for you not only in private but more so in public because she cares about how others see you and treat you.

10. She's not just nice to people she has something to gain from but is kind and treats the doorman, the customer service rep, the waitress, the beggar on the street, a child, the elderly etc. with compassion and respect. This is a telling sign of how she'll treat you once she feels she has you and isn't trying to impress you anymore.

11. She genuinely wants to be in a relationship with you and not just looking for "any man" to solve all her problems. She talks positively of the opposite sex but also not blind to their shortcomings.

12. She likes the things you like and makes an effort to do even the things you like and she doesn't.

13. She's not embarrassed or too proud to show you how much she loves you. She gives you her love and she also gives you her trust.

14. She's positive, happy with her life and always upbeat. She does not try to put other girls/women down to look better than she really is.

15. She makes you feel like you really matter even with all your faults and shortcomings-- and she's happy that you were born!

Yes, guys there are still good women out there. You just have to know what to look for. She could be just in front of your nose. She could be the woman in the next cubicle who brings you coffee at your workstation with just the right amount of sugar and cream and hangs around waiting to be noticed; or the cashier at the bank who smiles every time you walk in; or may be she is the woman you refer to as the bossy b-word - yes her, the one who is Vice President of the company you work for. She could be anyone.

http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com/NEWSLETTER%20ARTICLES/women2date1.htm

I thought this was interesting. What do you think guys, good info?

Sounds about right, I'm sure there might be one of those somewhere. Now I just have to fight off the other 3.3 billion men on the planet.

Well....in the same way an article about the Yeti or the Loch Ness Monster might be good info....

And I don't want to sound cynical here (I think it just goes with the territory), but I've never run across anyone like that, and it's really hard for me to believe that any such person could even exist, on this planet at this time, without bursting into flame.

I mean, yeah, I would love to meet someone like that, especially item #2, which I think is probably a genetic-gender impossibility, but what do I know?

You guys will find her, I am sure of it.

Lex, you have to open the hope gauge just a little to give her a chance to get close enough to show you that she is all or most of what is listed.

I know you're right, it's just hard after 94 consecutive entanglements with changemongers. Hey, I made up a new word!

If only they could be convinced that they should not try to harness my powers for the forces of evil....!!

She sounds wonderful...do you have her phone number op??

I could say the old cliche', "all I am looking for is someone with a pulse", but I will refrain.

I know how hard it is out there.

Just don't give up hope.

I really like this. I know I was 2/3 of them with my ex, some needed more attention especially towards the end when started to give up (13 years) because his biggest was # 8 and lack of communication skills in intimacy issues, and he refused to admit there were problems (would go to counseling but thought I was the problem so he didn't have to work on things).

I think this list can apply to men also. You cannot expect to meet the person you would like to spend your life with if you are not willing to do these things also, or at the very least seriously work on them together. When people lump all together in a generalization as such 'all women/men are like...' they certainly are cutting themselves off from a very content life with another.
We generally attract people with similar issues and get annoyed when the issues are mirrored back to us. That is the problem, people just run instead of asking, how can WE fix this, or I fix myself? If one is trying, the other usually starts to make the effort also...if they want the relationship to continue

I agree this can go towards both genders, definitely.

I think it was designed towards men who were running into the wrong kind of women and needed help in identifying the right kind of woman.

I'm quite sure of the opposite. Each gender has fantastic expectations of the other and as each gets older, seems less able to tolerate anything less than perfection.

I'm far from perfect, too honest about my faults and don't have the looks to make up the deficit.

So, I found other interesting things to do with my life. I think it was Bruce Williams who once said on his radio program, "Never love something that doesn't love you back." Speaking for myself, that 'something' is being in love with being in love.

Serendipity may yet strike me like a bolt of lightning, but I'm not counting on that because the odds are about the same.

BTW, it has nothing to do with confidence. I has everything to do with accepting one's fate with composure.

It's not so bad... being Single Like Me.


-Kerry O.