Ok, I just want someones opinion on this. I met this girl thru a friend of mine a while back, we clicked right away. We started dating things were great, she was 19 and I was 28.. We went out a lot and had a lot of fun together. We eventually moved in together and then it started. She started being secretive with her phone, and everytime I asked about it, she got defensive and turned everything around on me. I asked to see her phone, and she guarded it like a heart monitor or something. She was on Facebook a ton too. She talked to her Xs on the phone. But I never gave her any reason not to trust me. I told her to be honest with how she feels. I started catching her in too many lies about where she was. So I moved out, she cryed for me back and I moved back in thinking she would change. I was wrong. My best friend pulled me to the side and said, she cheated on you with 2 black guys at the same time, She told me herself. And she cheated on me over my birthday weekend and slept with her X in another state and told me she was going to see her parents in missouri. So I moved out again, left her everything, and now shes been seeing one of the black guys. He is muslim, growing drugs in his house, doesnt have a car or a good job, and he has a temper. He broke her windshield and she called me to come save her, I did. He went to jail and the next day SHE WENT BACK TO HIM!! I told her if she shows me hes out of her life, that I will move back in and try to work things out with her. She is STILL seeing him. And I dont know why? He is 37 years old, she is 20. She had a rough childhood, and her mom has schitzophrenia. She told me Hes rough with her in bed, like ***** do this!! Does she honestly enjoy that?? I dont get it. But I found out she has done this to every guy shes been with since high school. Does she have a condition? And she says she fell in love with this guy, she doesnt know what love is, because she wouldnt have done that to me. And she says the only guy she can see herself with in the long run is me, cuz her family loves me and she knows I will treat her good. She still comes to me for help. But she still lies about stuff. I dont get it, is it the sex with this man that she keeps going back? Its really messing with my head. Cuz everyone thinks shes making a mistake with him.

She's young she will learn on her own. Maybe she is a freak, never know.

People who are fawked up (in the head) like other people who are also fawked up. Makes them not feel so bad about their own issues. She's also VERY young and a lot of girls her age will go for the bad boy.

Unfourtunately, most girls who have had issues in the past, tend to have similar issues in the future. i've seen it happen so many times in my own family and friends. she may grow out of it, but then again she may not.... ya jus have to hope for the best and try to help her see that she needs to get some professional help. Sometimes, thats the only way to fix things.

ahaha.
I find it interesting how you find it necessary to include the fact her sexual partners are black.

Dump that & move on!

Muslim even.

Obviously, at least from reading this...there is tension here that goes beyond just her, you obviously don't agree with her choices of boyfriends, notably because you mention they are black and also mention Muslim in this.

Can't fix the world. Some people like rough sex, fact of life, I like rough sex, doesn't make me a bad person. You have your own issues, it is obvious through this post. Deal with them, move on, she has.

ok hi im 18 so im closer to her age n i think i wuld understand her better.... shes very unstable and it can generate all the way bac to her mom... she doesnt know wat is a good thing and wat isnt.... i dont think its the sex addiction wit the other guy unless she really loves sex but you need to stay in her life dont get bac with her bc she needs to learn if she gets in trouble thts all on her ur not runnin her life for her. shes a big girl let her handle her own mistakes.... jus be ther as a friend and tel her tht but dont get bac.... i no its hard but she needs to see if she want u she should only want u n stop the caddy phone crap and facebook crap.... bc all of tht is electronical not real.... hope i helped :)

yes some but not all.... im only 18 and i find no need for the bad boy....

i agree

oh how this topic hits a sore spot.


The major warning flags here, in the beginning, were the bull5hit with her being overly protective of her cell phone and the facebook 5hit. There is a major line between privacy and secrecy.


But basically, this chick has fvcked you over how many times now? And, yet, you continue to go back to her? And tell her that if she gets rid of this guy.. you're willing to work on things with her? Is she really that fantastic, that you're willing to put up with this 5hit?

You need to man up and move on. Quit helping her out, you're not doing her any real favors.. you're just showing her that she can use and abuse you, and that you're always going to be there to bail her out.


Cut the strings and move on.

Love the drama...better than whats on TV...

Why do think I keep coming back here? Heck. A bag of popcorn and a coke, and mingle, I'm set for an evening of cool entertainment

can you pick em or what!?!

sounds like she is confused and comfortable with being mistreated as she has not known much else. she is also searching for love that she did not recieve during childhood....but does not recognize love because she doesnt understand what recieving or give love is since she has not experienced and maybe mistaking sex for love.......she must learn to love herself because abused people get self love destroyed or taken away in order to be easier to control during abuse.....rebellion against others is common but not recognizable because she really doesnt know she is doing it....she needs counseling and to learn to love and respect herself which she does not know how to do either...

What I want to say is worry about yourself. Don't be an enabler. Focus on your life and what you want and rid yourself of what causes grief or stress. You can't help her, she has to help herself. It would be better to question why you choose who you do.

Nothing wrong with rough sex....besides who wants the same type of sex all the time.....being gentle, being rough, being whatever remains personal preferences. I enjoy my sexuality and it as changeable as I am on certain days.....I do not think this has anything to do with sex but respecting each other and learning what respect and self love is.

If this is who you have a daughter with, (opinion) you have some major decisions to make. Fact: you CAN NOT change anyone else. Young lady needs to figure what she wants & you need to let her go.
You can't save a drowning person, if they won't grab the life ring.
If a child is involved, DO ALL you can for the child, let the mother go. You KNOW what is right....DO IT.

OR...ACCEPT your actions for what they are.

...don't walk away..RUN.... ..

Sounds like a keeper