Why do some men have a problem dating an independent woman? I am not saying all men are like this, but a lot of the men I know are. Why do they feel they have to take care of us? What is so wrong with a woman being able to take care of herself? I really need some insight on this!

I don't have an answer for you as to why they do this, but I do know I love my independence. I don't know how to be dependent on someone, I hope I never have to be, but I guess someday, if something should happen, I will be. I will hate it.

To me, every woman is independent. Dependency is a state of mind, not a physical issue. If she can think freely, she can do other things freely.

I never try to force anyone to do anything they dont want to.

Aren't all single women are independent, save the ones who are in a relationship and aren't single and the under 18 who live home with parents?

You're right some men do, it's inherent in them to take care of the woman.. It's not a bad trait if it's honed properly... i.e. a man can make her feel taken care of without forcing his preferences on her and she can still be independent...

Relationships are about compromise and even independent women should be able to give in a little to her partner...

I love a woman who can take care of herself!!!

I think its more of an old school way of thinking. As we all know back in the day, the man would go out and get a job, and the woman would stay at home and take care of the kids. I know thats what my parents did. Thats the way they were brought up and so on. So really...the independant woman hasnt been around as long as the house wife. I dont have any problems with an independant woman. I actually prefer one. I just think that society hasnt completely come to terms with the independant woman. So it makes some men feel less manly.

Maybe it's time to come full circle and start having dependant men.

I'm down. I'll take a rich woman anyday. I'll stay at home and play video games all day...no questions asked. LOL!!!

Good point MJ...

From my experience, some men feel threatened by an independent woman. They think that as long as we can take care of ourselves and think for ourselves then we don't need them and probably won't stick around. I have never been able to understand this way of thinking.

I agree that relationships are about compromise and about both parties being able to give in a little to each other. What I don't agree with is one of the parties thinking that the other needs to totally give up their independence.

My parents have been happily married for many years and they are both very independent. They share a lot of things but they each have their own things as well....from friends to finances. They don't feel the need to be with each other 24/7 and they don't feel the need to depend 100% on the other.

IMO....they definitely have a 50/50 relationship and it seems pretty perfect to me. But then again, I agree with Mayhem. Maybe it's just they way we were each brought up.

Let me know when you find one. Instead of the ladies book club where they read something Oprah recommends and drink wine; we'll drink beer, watch sports and play video games!!!

Ok...I all ask if shes got a sister or a hot mom. Sound good?

Sheesh! Video games all day.....I think not! Don't you have some laundry, house cleaning, and cooking to do?

(((((JOY))))) Love what you said....I am a protector, and not ashamed of that. But that is different than feeling the need to take care of her. I love independent women, free thinkers, strong in their convictions, growing for themselves and that carries over to the relationship. Lucky is the man and woman that can grow together, independently...

It doesnt take long to do those things. I'll have a mad do all that while I play the games. LOL!!

Best idea I've heard in a long while! (Oh, and one of us can clean while the other one calls the pizza guy)

I would say about 40 years, since the 60s. I don't think it's a fear of independent women..but more like the husband loosing his role. It used to be the guy who went to work and he felt responsible for the children and the wife too..kinda gave him an important role.

I would say the high numbers of divorces also has something to do with. Since many women can live independently and not needed to be married or tied to a person..when that woman cheats on him, he even looses the role of being a sexual partner and that's the most devastating.

Just think about it. "I'm not the one making the money", I'm not the one owning the house, I'm not the one feeding my child. And when you add "i'm not the one screwing my wife" , that's it.

I like to think that we all like to be taken care of by our partner- in ways unique to the relationship - what works for that couple

I love to spoon with my guy behind me cuz it makes me feel safe - like he's there protecting me - IDK - something primal there i guess

( even tho I am quite capable of protecting myself - it's nice to feel him there - that he would/could)

ah, but that was then! Gotta find the guy

I agree..when I meant fear of them, I meant fear of losing their roll.