My daughter is 13 as well and on the verge of having her first bf. I took it in stride. I know the kid, and I know his parents. I also know that and when we do ever let them hang out together outside of school, they will NEVER be left alone. That's key! Parents do have controll, we just have to do it wisely. My daughter is not allowed to "go out with friends", unless it is a school activity and I know that parents I trust will be there. If she wants to have him over to the house to watch a movie, cool, but they stay in the living room. Bedrooms are a no no on every level.

I had my daughter when I was 19, and I am not niave in the slightest. There isn't a trick in the book that I don't know. I could be the mom who puts her foot down and say NO till 17 or 18, but that will make her rebellious and it will be a bigger fight. Teach them to respect themselves, and others, and how to be together properly.. and we stand a better chance of keeping our chillins from repeating the mistakes we made. And yes, I have been 100% upfront about with her about how she came about, my age, what led to it ect. ect. Kids don't like being lied to and will never trust if they find out a deep dark secret. I found out when I was in my 20's that the reason my mom married my dad was because they had slept together and they felt like they had to because of religious reasons. DUH WHAH? I don't let it rule my life or make me hate them, but I don't like alot of uppity talk from them because they lied to me for many years about their meeting and marriage (they got married a week after they met, and I always felt it was sooooooo romantic, what bullhockey).

Hello Lypdon today the girls are more informed cuz of technology.Like the comp,cells.In my time was no comp or cells just magazines to inform us on bananna lessons
Take a deep breath and relax!Just enjoy your Daughter and u will see she will come around and feel comfortable with u.You have to make her feel she can talk to u about anything.And like I said going Bonkers is not the way.Have to remember not in your time or her Moms or Aunts time.2010 a different time.

It's still scary, what if she tell's me something I REALLY don't want to know at all?

I think I need to call my doctor and see if I can get on Valium....... Atleast right now she doesn't have a cell and when I get her one it will have GPS and a text save feature so I can not only see where she is at all times but know who shes talking to and what she's saying. Also she doesn't use the computer...

My parents got married within two weeks oh knowing eachother and have been happily married for 30+ years.

Of course its scary.U have every right to be but your Daughter also has every right to be just 13 so long as she is protecting herself from getting pregnant at an early age.Cannot smother her.Have to prepare her for when she becomes an adult.So just enjoy your Daughter and be open with her in a way she can feel comfortable.You have to go with the times of today not backwards.

It's not about 13 year-olds knowing how to protect themselves. If anyone is okay with 13 year-old CHILDREN having sex, they're sick!

Good luck with your daughter.

This. In this day and age, I think he has every right to be concerned. The world is not like it once was, and people are experimenting much younger then they used to, and being exposed to a lot more too soon.

I don't even wanna think about her having sex, but if I find out she is, she is going to be on her way to a military school.

I'm not saying that he shouldn't be concerned, I meant children that age shoouldn't be having sex and anyone who thinks its okay for them to is sick. He just needs to talk to his daughter a lot about it and tell her all of the possible consequences, but don't assume she's doing anything. I didn't mean to imply that she was.

Hey buddy

here I speak from experience.....

I raised four daughters

it ALL starts around 13- wether you like it or not

they have boyfreinds-either out in the open or behind your back
and yes- they have sex at that age- they WILL tell you no not me but they are doing it!

13 year old girls are a sub-species all their own! They are approaching the real teenage years and it's scary and they become unpredictable. They want to fit in so bad they will do anything. They want to be in love. Soon she will hate you for the simple fact you are breathing in the same room as she is

don't fight it- it's a teenage growth process. Just be there to guide her. Keep communication open with her. Show love along with discipline

it passes

good luck to you!

Looks like im getting a night time job and will be attending school with her everyday.

I believe he is 14...... She wont tell me much about him. Her grades were fine up till this sudden interest in boys came along........

I just had this conversation with my 15-year-old daughter...lol. She came to me and asked for birth control and I died. You have to understand though that I was a 17-year-old mom and I have made no secret to her about how hard it is and how I want her to be smarter. I am not saying have her join a convent or just let her have sex. If you are open and honest with her about your concerns, then she will be open and honest with you. If you grill her over every single detail, she is gonna shut you out and you will hear nothing of future boyfriends or what she is up to until it is too late. Good luck!

Hmmm, after reading this entire post, I gotta throw my thoughts in on this.

While I don't have a daughter, I was a teenage girl once and I have a 17 yr old son. He's not out banging every girl he sees. In fact, he may still be a virgin!

The thing is...I never told him not to have sex. I told him about sex at around the age of 12, and I taught him about respect for himself and women, and then I let him make the choice.

You seem to have your daughter's life all planned out for her...when she will date, when she will have sex, what she will be when she grows up (the Navy I think you mentioned!). Tell me Daddy...are you going to be there to tell her when to orgasm the first time too?

My point is...you are going about this the entirely wrong way. If you act like the control freak parent, you will get a kid that rebels and does bad things behind your back, just to spite you. If she feels trusted and safe to talk to you about ANYTHING, including sex, you stand a much better chance of her living up to your expectations. Give her some credit! She is a person, with her own thoughts, feelings, wants and needs. She is not put on this earth to do what her Daddy tells her.

I'm not saying I condone sex at 13. What I'm saying is you have to give her the ability to make wise choices, not force your choices down her throat. The only thing that does is make her gag.

As for reading her diary, I suggest you not do that. What will you do with what you find? Keep quiet? No, you'll go off on her if you find out she's had sex. Then she'll know you read her diary, and there goes all the trust in your relationship. Not good.

I know it's hard to see your little girl growing up, but you can't stop it. You can be there to guide her, teach her the difference between right and wrong, but she has to make the decisions ultimately.

That's my take on the situation. Parenting is the toughest job on the planet! Good luck to you, and her.

You said you just found out about the boyfriend, so how are you certain it has to do with that?

Slow down a bit. Meet the boyfriend and go from there. Reading her diary and keeping her locked inside aren't going to make her interest in boys disappear. It will show her that you don't trust her, though. And because of that, she'll stop trusting you as well.

Ya know what? You don't know the boy. Have the birthday party and let her bring him. Seeing how they act around each other will tell you a lot. Don't grill her (or him).

Slow down. When you have custody, then set some basic ground rules.
Don't go overboard. And don't you dare read her dairy! That is private and confidential. You read that...she will know and will never trust you again. You have to set the example. Give her the option of going on birth control. If she is having sex..better no pregnancy. School..get her involved in sports, clubs...keep her busy. Volunteer work...2hours a week...at local hospital, food bank...whatever. Don't leave her with a lot of spare time on her hands. Spend time with her...maybe morning coffee...casual conversation. No lectures. She may be your little girl..but she is also a young lady with raging hormones....not what you want to hear..sorry. These teenage years can be hard on parents and the child themselves. Just know..she will have boyfriends with or without you. And remember there will always be things that she does or did in her teenage years that you will not find out until much later or maybe never.

A warning to you.

I once had a parent who behaved exactly like you are planning to.

It drove us apart for years.

Be prepared for the wrath of a teenage girl.


Don't snoop through her stuff! You're probably one of the only people she trusts. Do you really want to ruin that?

Please

I repeat

please

do not go into a 13 yr old diary unless you want the wrath of Satan upon you!


That is her private world that means everything to her!

Her hopes-dreams-fantasies are contained on those pages

keep her trust in you intact. Don't blow it

going in her private world without permission is not cool

this is not a life/death situation. So don't upset her privacy. She still deserves some boundries. Even at 13

You've gotten excellent advice from everyone here. i understand your concerns, Las Vegas in not a place I would raise a child. Am just going to suggest one more thing, perhaps a single parents support group in your area? Find out from others who are going through the same angst, how and what works. It's good to have support but here, it comes in increments and not always when you'll need it. Good luck and do respect your daughter if you wish the ssame back from her.