u r correct to sssume that I am talking in the context of stable long term relationships, and marriages

I do not agree that it only includes the biological parents. It is sometimes even more important for step parents to present a united front because of the relationship dynamics in blended families with children in the home (crying out for structure BTW). Divorced parents are sometimes so guilt ridden that they have a hard time here, and I am one (divorced parent whose been there done that) I am definitely talking in the context of the nuclear family whatever that happens to be. This does not include the occasional guy who I date...my kids seldom if ever even meet those men - because of exactly what u r saying. So I think we prolly agree on more than not, actually

Once again I have witnessed up close many many relationships fall apart because one or both parents put the chldren (who became spoiled and whiny) above not only their primary relationship partner, but before their own authority as well (the kids ran the household and were catered to at the EXPENSE of the adult relationship model-that is what is actually wrong on so many levels -look at what it teaches them- to expect to be catered to)

I have seen it time & time again, and to a lesser extent expereinced it. Children draw security from united loving parents who care for them, and they learn their place from where they learn to be self supporting, considerate, and independent adults who have grown up in a home wiht a functional model - be it bio or step, or adoptive parents. I have witnessed this success many times over also.

But as usual c'est la vie - we r entitled to our own opinions, and I expected disagreement on this because it is hard to explain what I mean.

First no one and I repeat not one person anywhere loves their children more than I love mine. no matter how much I love my sons, it is a different type of love and obligation than that to my marital partner - anything else is just too weird -

for example, My fiance and I have a pre-planned important anniversary dinner, but Sally Sue decides she wants to go to Kings Island...really? ummm answer is no Sally Sue, but that does not mean she is not first in my life. It means she goes to King's Isalnd some other time because the world does not revolve around her and she needs to learn that at a young age.

What pet peeve do you have about any random profile? The cut and paste? The terribly misspelled words? Something else? Do tell!!!!

For me it's those that don't know the difference in they're and their and there! They were taught to us in elementary school! Also, it's and its!!!

What bugs me is when someone asks me everything that I've already written about in my profile. When I ask them if they've read it, they say yes, but they're just checking because too many people lie. Why should I have to repeat everything over and over because people are paranoid everyone is lying?

as far as pictures go...yes pictures will get more of a response than the mingle bubble. But there are people cautious about posting pictures for many reasons. Some aren't good reasons (cheating, etc) but people can steal pictures online and use them for fake profiles or whatever. That is why at times I post the avatars and I turn my pictures to private.

I don't like a profile when a person doesn't talk about themselves. However on the spelling front; my pet peeve is loose and loser. I see so many see he is such a looser; that drives me crazy.

Yeah, that is REALLY annoying.

When I did my 3-month stint on a pay site back in 2006, I was bombarded by messages from locals, asking me to meet them at such-and-such bar in town that evening.

"Have you even read my profile?"

"Sure!"

"Then you need to read it again, because it's pretty clearly stated in there that I don't drink and I don't go to bars!"

And THAT profile was only a few paragraphs long!

They also use the excuse they'd rather find out from the person, rather than the profile, otherwise there will be nothing left to talk about.

They also use the excuse they'd rather find out from the person, rather than the profile, otherwise there will be nothing left to talk about.

I was told today that my profile is too demanding. Also that I should read dating books because I'm trying to change people by suggesting they take a bit of time and fill out their profile. Apparently he thought shorter profiles were better and I'd be better off just asking him questions about himself.

Both singmesweet and msmyka bring up valid points. Speaking to other men my age, I appreciate and prefer younger women but as mature males we must be respectful of the wishes of the young women who use these sites. I very often read a profile that resonates with me only to find that the cut off age is 2, 5, 10 or whatever years younger than what I am. And even though I am very youthful for my age (people guess me at around 35 to 42) I pass on those profiles regardless of my personal feelings.

I do believe however that women should at least go as high as 10 years above her own age. That is more of a reflection of the fact that women do mature more quickly than men, especially on emotional levels and the desire for family and life-long companionship.

I like the fact that this site has a posting board where we can address and discuss these issues. So to all the guys my age (and younger even) I say, respect the ladies space. State your point of view on the boards. Make your points cogent and valid without personalising or "dissing". And if ya can't do that .... say nothing and grow up will ya!!!