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| Topic: age gap relationships-do they ever work | |
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In a nut shell age shouldnt be an obstacle but it will surely affect d relationship.Move on with ya life
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I found myself interested in a much younger man.... him 22 me 42... we have now been together a year and 5 months... things were pretty rocky a first and became great... we seemed to both have very strong feelings for each other... problems... he uses his age as an excuse to be immature and continue with habits that keep him from getting a good job.. he recently landed a job and has now decided he doesnt want anyone "holding him back" ??? Idont know what to make of this.. one day he loves me more than anything and wants me and the next he has a friend ask him to go out and he doesnt want me. i think i have become too involved in hoping to help him become a better person and lost sight of the fact that i dont think he wants the same right now. what do i do... let him go... everyone says i can do much better..his mouth is mean and hurtful... but he lives with his folks that are that way to each other every single day... im hopelessly lost here...i really am a pretty lady and am always guessed the age of 29-31... its not that i was looking for that young of a person..it just happened and i fell. amy advice?? Surely don't judge every young person based on one's behaviour. Another note of relevance; you cannot 'help' someone become a better person, they either become a better person or they do not, holding yourself up to such a task is really only hurting yourself in the long-run. Either way, if he acts the way you say he does you are probably better off getting out now. |
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it doesn't sound like a very good thing....
let him go and look for a better match - whatever the age may be... 
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Edited by
RainbowTrout
on
Wed 05/12/10 03:02 PM
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He may be fickle. At age 22 I went through a lot of jobs; Was real restless and I was not what you call marriage material. Was more into lust than love. Man I am making a lot of typos today.
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If its real love it will work, if its just an infatuation, enjoy the ride!!!
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The key sentence here to me is lives at home with his parents.
If you live at home as an adult you don't have to be responsible because you always have your parents to fall back on. With him being so young he has probably always lived at home. So, you were kind of like a parent to help him along the way with the career. The disrespect will continue. Once the pattern is set it's not going to change. Yes, they have great bodies, yes the stamina is great, yes they will change their minds back and forth because they can and you've allowed it. You are a comfortable figure to fall back on when he isn't feeling so secure about himself. As much as I know you would like it to work, trust me it won't. I went back and forth with a similar situation for 5 years. If you've allowed the disrespect, the pattern is set. Move on for your own good. |
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I found myself interested in a much younger man.... him 22 me 42... we have now been together a year and 5 months... things were pretty rocky a first and became great... we seemed to both have very strong feelings for each other... problems... he uses his age as an excuse to be immature and continue with habits that keep him from getting a good job.. he recently landed a job and has now decided he doesnt want anyone "holding him back" ??? Idont know what to make of this.. one day he loves me more than anything and wants me and the next he has a friend ask him to go out and he doesnt want me. i think i have become too involved in hoping to help him become a better person and lost sight of the fact that i dont think he wants the same right now. what do i do... let him go... everyone says i can do much better..his mouth is mean and hurtful... but he lives with his folks that are that way to each other every single day... im hopelessly lost here...i really am a pretty lady and am always guessed the age of 29-31... its not that i was looking for that young of a person..it just happened and i fell. amy advice?? its not difference in biological age that is the difficult obstacle,, it is differences in emotional maturity,,,there are some 27 year old males who have more sense of responsibility and commitment in their little finger than some 50 year old men do and the same is true with women,,,,,its just not the NORM I'd be cautious not to pick partners on mere physical attraction or age,,actually test emotional, intellectual and spiritual compatibility(which doesnt always correlate to age) my soon to be ex is actually twenty years my senior(and Im no spring chicken...lol) and I assumed this would mean he would be mature and past the games and insecurities,,,,,boy was I ever wrong.... |
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it doesn't sound like a very good thing.... let him go and look for a better match - whatever the age may be...
^ also word |
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Dump him and move on. He's not worth it and probably never will be.
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it doesn't matter what age either of you are, if you two arent on the same level it isnt meant to be...even if one thing is seperating the two of you, its not meant to be.You should take some time to yourself and meet a few new people, go out with them, then decide... at least then you will know your feelings are 100%
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you can determine age through chemistry,
though chemistry itself knows no age respect is a whole separate issue however, it doesn't come with a birth certificate either it's all about what you are willing to put up with and where you draw your own lines |
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LOLOLOL thank you for this....
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You are right...thanks
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Thank you!! i do agree with you... everyone steroetypes guys at that age as having to sow oats.... party ...look for different girls everynight...and yet girls at that age are getting married ...having children..working... Im sorry but my when my son turns 22 i wont be defending him to his gf whatever her age by saying he has oats to sow and parties to go to... um NO... he has the same god given ability as any other grown man and choice to be mature and a leader or immature and follow the crowd... You were on the spot with this comment!!
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Thanks fanoflife!!!
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Thank you!!! Seemed by some these posts were a little judgemental of the age ... i dont see age as an issue.. good to know it works for some...
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Thank you ...sorry to hear about yours but it is true immaturity comes doesnt discriminate when it comes to age...
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thank you!!! great advice....
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Thank you Mikey!!!!
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I found myself interested in a much younger man.... him 22 me 42... we have now been together a year and 5 months... things were pretty rocky a first and became great... we seemed to both have very strong feelings for each other... problems... he uses his age as an excuse to be immature and continue with habits that keep him from getting a good job.. he recently landed a job and has now decided he doesnt want anyone "holding him back" ??? Idont know what to make of this.. one day he loves me more than anything and wants me and the next he has a friend ask him to go out and he doesnt want me. i think i have become too involved in hoping to help him become a better person and lost sight of the fact that i dont think he wants the same right now. what do i do... let him go... everyone says i can do much better..his mouth is mean and hurtful... but he lives with his folks that are that way to each other every single day... im hopelessly lost here...i really am a pretty lady and am always guessed the age of 29-31... its not that i was looking for that young of a person..it just happened and i fell. amy advice?? Well honestly, he's 22 years old, and he probably feels that he still needs to get his feet wet. You two have been dating for over a year now, that's a really long time for a guy his age. He's watching his buddies jumping from one girl to another, while he is still dating you. I am sure he is a bit curious. The more you are trying to control him, the more he will turn you away. I'd say give him some space. Maybe even dump him... He will then see what he is truly missing. If he says mean and hateful things to you, he has lost respect and appreciation for you. He's taking you for granted right now. No one deserves to be taken for granted. There are a lot of hot, young sweeties out there that would love a chance with a mature woman, who has great life experiences, for a committed relationship. |
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