Part 1.

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid".
That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them
anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see
your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and
there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says
"Hey, you moving?"

"Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many
boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled
his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and
this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "No - We
talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There
was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test
it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They
want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts
when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna
lose it!"

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my
truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't
resist. said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just
swelled right up on me! Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the
house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the
house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe,
then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I
could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't ya
know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I
couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and
eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his
basic questioning..ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear of
needing a sign...until he asked "So.. is your truck stuck?" I couldn't
help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to
him and said "no I'm delivering' a bridge...here's your sign."

LMAO
LMAO
LMAO

The cop part fits
Do you have any idea how many times I am delivering newspapers in the
morning and am walking along with a hand full of papers and a cop stops
me and asks me what I am doing

I am thinking
Um
I am building a house you jackass
WTF?
lmao

Part 2 to follow in the jokes section.

and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?"........yes, but only at the bottom
of the tire......... the bit that sits on the surface of the road.

Hmmm, those stupid signs sound like something Ron Engvall said on the
blue collar comedy tour...it's nice to see you couldn't come up with
something on your own

Now, now {{{{{{{{{{{{{{Ktownsingle26f}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Play nicely


BTW; Welcome

Love em!!! :)

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ SHE}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}




HAPPY MONDAY !!!!!!!! Where have you been hiding ?


Got new snacks for you...........anteater toenail crunchies !!!

Hi Bonny,

Not hiding, just busy with work related stuff, always a barrel of
monkeys... :)

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm, thanks for the snack, sounds delicious. Offers Bonny
some goat poo cookies, fresh from the oven. :)

Hugs from SheNerd :)

{{{{{{{{{{She}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


Just love the crunchy crunch of the aromatic poo. Thanks heaps ( goat of
course)

Good stuff!

then when the cop pulled me over he asks where i am going?
nowhere right now you stopped me. hmmmmm

I was asking this man one time when I was lost where this road went. He
said I have been here for twenty years and the road hasn't gone any
wheres yet.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Rainbow}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I suppose you deserve a sign

Yeah, if others can have a sign then I deserve one, too. No way am I
getting left out.

what is it steal jokes from bill engvall day. c'mon now dont steal jokes
without giving credit.

The Five Man Electrical Band

Signs

And the sign said long-haired freaky people need not apply
So, I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why
He said "You look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you'll do"
So I took off my hat and said, "Imagine that, huh me working for you"
whoaaaa signs, signs, everywhere a sign
blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind
Do this, don't do that. Can't you read the signs?
And the sign said "anybody caught trespassing would be shot on sight"
So I jumped on the fence and I yelled at the house
"Hey, what gives you the right?
To put up a fence to keep me out or to keep mother nature in
If God was here, he'd tell it to your face
man, you're some kind of sinner"
whoaaaa signs, signs, everywhere a sign
blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind
do this, don't do that. can't you read the signs?
"now hey you mister can't you read?
you've got to have a shirt and tie to get a seat
you can't even watch, no you can't eat
you ain't supposed to be here"
and the sign said, "You got to have a membership card to get inside"
UUUUUHHHHHH!
and the sign said, "everybody welcome. Come in, kneel down and pray"
and when they passed around the plate at the end of it all
I didn't have a penny to pay
So I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own little sign
I said, "thank you Lord for thinkin' 'bout me. I'm alive and doin' fine"
whoaaaa signs, signs, everywhere a sign
blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind
do this, don't do that. can't you read the signs?

yep

Didn't steal them. My brother mailed them to me so he's the thief. Not
me