Not wanting to sound pessimistic but I have had so many women say "I love you" prior to even meeting them...how can you love someone sight unseen? I am a good man who never expected to be single this late in life but my wife passed away last year and here I am.

I guess that "I love you" has become so generic that it can be thrown around with such disregard. Has it become so stripped of passion that it is the same as saying "Hello"?

Thanks for any help that you can give me to understand this phenomenon..

TheManYourLooking4

First of all:

Hello, welcome to mingle.

Second of all:

I don't say "I love you" unless I mean it.

First of "Thank You"

Second...but how do you know when the other person says they love you that they are sincere?

first of all...welcome

secondly...you don't "know", that's where trust comes in

I agree with kc.

I can love without seeing,, love for me is about the inner person
I could have intimate , meaningful conversation over a telephone or internet and begin to love the person I have gotten to know..

lust , however, requires physical attraction

and being IN love requires a bit of both of the above


love= I care about you as I do myself and want happiness for you
lust= I cant stop imagining what it might feel like to be in your arms

IN love = I care about you as I do myself, I want happiness for you and I am hoping beyond hope that I can be a part of that happiness (and be in your arms..lol)


the only way to really know if you are loved is to pay attention to how someone treats you,,,,I LOVE YOU , can be empty words if there are no works to prove it,,,

Welcome


I've only dropped the L word on one guy in my entire life and we've known each other for years and have been in a relationship twice in our lives. Currently, it's distance (and some baby mama drama) keeping us apart.

I also believe most people are not sincere when they say I love you. I will probably get a lot of flack for this but I think women are even less sincere then men are in this regard. In my opinion women are in love with the IDEA of being in love. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone but me but that's the way I see it. They want to be in love so badly that they manifest it themselves instead of really truly finding mutual and unconditional love.

Guys on the other hand will only say it if they are truly in love or if they want to get in your pants. As an intuitive woman it's fairly easy to spot the difference. (ie they say it with out having met you or wayyy too soon into a relationship)

That too.

Here Here!

Thank you I think that so far this sums it up really well...Thanks

i say it never does not permanently it just means until i find someone else and find u annoying so just enjoy it

That's not love.

no it's not

So sorry to hear about your wife.


You can "love" a person before meeting them, if you've had
enough other consistent, meaningful contact with them, but
ONLY if they are being truly honest and "themselves". Being
"in love" is a whole other matter. That takes time, and being
around that person to "really" know them, and again, if both
parties are honest and themselves.(meaning not just putting
out the whatever persona they want others to see or know,
which is so prevalent online)

Unfortunately, yes, people do throw it around a lot as just
something to say. I, as some others have said, only say it to
a few people, and when I say it I mean it straight from the
heart, and say it often. If you truly mean it though, you can't
just say it, you have to show it, that's what really counts.

Hello and welcome, btw.

First of all...ya dumbchit...why are you laying it all out on the line on your first post.

Second of all....I'm an abrasive lout and apologize for my previous sentence.

Good entrance and I am SO sorry for your loss!!!! Take all flippancy with a grain of salt.........as well as all 3rd email "I love yous".

When he shows it, not just says it!

I know

I met someone on here who said he loved me

I was a complete idiot. And said it back KNOWING it couldn't be
(there was plenty of self analyzing over that I'll tell ya)

I think it's because most just love the "idea" of being in love

I know I can't figure out how online love works. I could see falling in "deep infatuation". With the voice. The persona being given off. The idea of who you THINK the person is. Who you want them to be

But for true love to blossom you need "contact". Human contact. The touching. The body language. The eye contact

online love is sooooo easy to fall prey to. Even easier to keep going when ya know there will be no "real connection".

But if you meet. And spend time together. And fall in love.

Then God bless ya!

When there actions and giving match their words. And it happens the opposite way as well.

Sincere? They probably are .. but love can be translated as many ways as people who feel it - and you are right. REAL romantic love can not be truly experienced with out meeting in person. It's a trend online to say it before. Seriously.

Because they ARE in love. With BEING in love .. ie in love with the concept. And with an 'image' .. they LOVE the image they think you are. When you meet in person is when the behavior, character and REAL "you" come out

Just take it for what it is .. I certainly wouldn't build my life on it.

I know exactly what you mean. I've known this one guy (real life friend) for a little over 2 years & he's persistently in a round about way asked me out with things like "You think you might like to go out to dinner sometime" type things. I've told him no several times & he's still working on a date. He'd do anything in the world to help me but I'm not interested & try to stay away from him as much as I can without hurting his feelings. Then the other evening on the phone as we were hanging up he used the "L" word!! Wasn't sure exactly how he meant it & I just sort of let it slide past without responding. At this moment there's only 3 people in my life that I love & that's my 2 sons & I. Welcome to Mingle2!!!