is it stupid when you found out that your bf cheated on you and you still forgive him and back together? help help

Yes

do i ahve to moved on? but i love him! :(

He'll just cheat again...move on

Yes. In this case, love is irrelevant because it's not returned. If it was returned, he wouldn't cheat.

Do you still TRUST him? Think about it.

Interesting question. A very smart person told me a long time ago that you can never go back........

Fogiving is never stupid. 99% of the time it is stupid to get back together. Some people do change though, unfortunately that is rare.

Get joint consuling & see if there is a real relationship there.

Cheating can be a sign of a different problem.

People who love each other are capable of many things; good and bad. But when somebody cheats I think that person has taken the relationship (and trust bond) into unchartered territory. Generally it means the beginning of the end. The future will just be a drawn out process before you split up anyway.

It's always great to forgive rather than hold harsh feelings for anyone that will just wear you down and make you miserable, but yeah, you shouldn't stay with him...he doesn't love you back and even if he never cheats again, you won't KNOW he's being faithful because you can't watch him 24/7. You would have to completely forget he cheated; impossible.

It's not "stupid" per say, but it is unwise, and extremely difficult. The same can be said about cheating gf's too, just as fraught with lies, deceit, treachery, and lack of remorse. I don't want to sound to harsh, dear, but based on my own personal exp, DUMP the BUM!!!!


I'm sensing a growing consensus already on this thread topic.

I think to decide whether it is stupid or not is to find out why the cheating took place and take into consideration the circumstances of your relationship otherwise and THEN determine if its worth saving or letting go (were you going through a rough time? was he? was there a lot of distance between you two emotionally at the time? is there something you demanded that he couldn't fulfill or vice versa?). If you decide it may be worth the effort, analyze what you want and what he wants for your relationship, ultimately, come to an agreement and go from there.

If the cheating occurred simply because he could, then its likely to occur again, but if it occurred because of something he wasn't getting out of the relationship with you or something he could not provide for you that someone else did not demand of him, then that is a different matter.

Not judging you or your relationship, just proposing some thinking points. Ultimately, desire to remain with someone is never stupid unless its simply out of habit or complacency (meaning, you're together because you've been together and that's that).

true.. once a cheater will be a cheater forever..

thats the prob..i still love him.. but for sure i cant trust him anymore..theres always doubts in my mind..im just confused coz it is still fresh..

yes, i can easily forgive people.. but its hard to forget just like that.. and yes, i need to moved on and leave things behind..:)

haha dump him...

thing is he lied to me.. then i found out that he cheated on me... i talk to the girl and i discover everything.. he wants me to believe everything he says.. that he loves me.. convincing! but still im glad i found out the truth and it really hurts! now he wants us to talk.. im so confused.. :( thats why i ask some opinions here to uplift my spirit.. so i can decide which best way i can do. thanks to all of you.. this really helps..

Jezi, if I had a time-machine I would do one of two things:

1) Tell her(my crazy drunk bi-polar Aussie ex) to pizz-off and leave me alone at the moment she first met me.


2) Threw her out on the street the moment I first found out she cheated, and change the locks. Fun to do on a cold winter night when she's not wearing any clothes.


I know, it's hard, and you love him, or you did, but your heart will be smashed into a million pieces if you stay with with him. I know this from personal experience.

you are right.. coz if ever i get back to him, i will never have a peaceful mind.. yes, i do love him.. i just dont like what i felt right now, it really hurts.. i hope i have the strength to say all of these things you said.. ive been loyal to him, but he didnt care at all.. so, i decided to leave things behind and start my new life without him. this will be tough! thanks!

Since every couple is different and none of us knows the specifics of your relationship, no one but you and your bf can really decide what's best for you. I have never cheated and have never been cheated on- would I forgive a guy for cheating on me? I don't know, since I've never been in that situation. It's easy for most people to say "Oh, I'd never do that!" or "You really need to do this!" Until you've been there, you don't know what you'll do.

I've had to ask for forgiveness for other things though, and I appreciated it when it was given. I will repeat, it's up to you what you choose to do in your relationship, whether it's "stupid" or not depends on how you feel. You've already said you can't trust him anymore; without trust there is no relationship. So you've answered your own question. Trust your instincts, they're usually right. Good luck in whatever decision you make.