Is it so wrong to just want to find someone who likes playin' with the 'pink bits' ... ? I'm so easy ...

Are you trying to convince us or yourself? Because nature would disagree with you. Relationships are fundamental in human needs, and from the moment that you are born, until the day you die you will be in many types of relationships. It's how the human race survives. It's embedded in our DNA. Those that choose to force themselves to never have a relationship with other human beings tend to go off the deep end - can you say unabomber? Fear of intimacy - (relationship phobia) is actually a psychological condition, it's like being afraid of falling in love or as it's known Philophobia. You can choose to not be in a relationship for a period of time, but sooner or later it will start tapping you on the shoulder again....

Edited to add this:

I find that amusing because most of the time I find myself living in places where I cannot have a relationship with anyone, whether I want to or not. I won't go into the why because it's not important. I just find it funny that you actually think not having a relationship will drive you crazy. As far as I know, I'm not crazy.

Needs: Food, water, shelter...these are primary. I'm sure a relationship falls into the secondary category, if even. We don't need a relationship, what you are failing to distinguish is the difference between a relationship and social interaction...we need social interaction.

Everything is a psychological condition anymore, really pathetic if you think about it. If you watch too much TV you have a psychological condition, too much of anything is now classed as a psychological condition. Can't just be that maybe someone enjoys it? No, they have a pill for that now.

Just as much as people are controlled by medication, we are just as controlled by stupid conditions classified under the simplest of things.

In end, you killed any chance of me taking your opinion seriously when you mentioned psychological conditions.

Oh well that's easy to fix, simply pick up a psychology book

There are many variables to this but generally this webpage covers it well enough (and remember, google is your friend if you need more information):

http://behavioural-psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/defining_fear_of_intimacy

"Defining fear of intimacy may be different from person to person, but there is an underlying theme. Fear of intimacy involves caring about another person as much as you care about yourself, which leaves you vulnerable and open to rejection, hurt and betrayal.

Fear of Intimacy Is about Self-protection.

When you fear intimacy, you may be afraid of being consumed by another person, or being submersed in their personality or world. Fear of intimacy often involves a struggle to keep yourself separate from another person. You don’t want to lose yourself, so you hold back. Fear of intimacy can be physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. In fact, it can involve all four levels of being, though it may be more prominent in one area or another. It can be commitment phobia or a general distance from other human beings.

You can struggle with a fear of intimacy or emotional distance even if you’re married or in a long-term relationship. You can fear intimacy and be emotionally distant or mentally isolated even if you have children and grandchildren.

Fear of intimacy is about protecting yourself.

...and yet here you are, on a dating site, forming relationships of varying kinds with people. Weird.

As noted by the many references below, I was not posting opinion, you were fearandloathing. It sounds like you were deeply hurt at one time, and for that I am very sorry. It also appears that you've never studied psychology, but before we get into debating that lets clear up your 'social interaction' comment. Whether you realize it or not those all fall under the heading of relationships. Don't believe me, open a dictionary:

relationship: ▸ noun: a state of connectedness between people; noun: a state involving mutual dealings between people or parties or countries; ▸ noun: a relation between people.

All mentally healthy people require relationships with other people. Everyone that has studied psychology 101 knows this as being called "Maslow's Hierarchy of needs".

Simply stated:

"Humans need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance, whether it comes from a large social group, such as clubs, office culture, religious groups, professional organizations, sports teams, gangs ("Safety in numbers"), or small social connections (family members, intimate partners, mentors, close colleagues, confidants). They need to love and be loved (sexually and non-sexually) by others. In the absence of these elements, many people become susceptible to loneliness, social anxiety, and clinical depression. This need for belonging can often overcome the physiological and security needs, depending on the strength of the peer pressure."

"According to the study researchers, the fact that early romantic love is associated with neural activity in a brain region responsible for our most basic human needs shows that early romantic love is an “important evolutionary reproductive strategy.” It also provides a biological explanation for the intense drive associated with passionate love—explaining why, for example, some people contemplate stalking or suicide when rejected. "

"According to the renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow and the conflict scholar John Burton, these essentials go beyond just food, water, and shelter. They include both physical and non-physical elements needed for human growth and development, as well as all those things humans are innately driven to attain. link"

The famed American psychologist Harry Harlow proved in the 1950's that from birth, babies need to be in a relationship or they will have severe psychological and/or physical problems later. This is the whole reason why when a woman is giving birth her Oxytocin levels goes up. Without it she would not want to bond with the baby and the human race would become extinct in short order. It's also why nature makes those same hormones (Oxytocin) rise during sex.






RESOURCES:
Aron A, Fisher H, Mashek DJ, et al. Reward, motivation, and emotion systems associated with early-stage intense romantic love. J Neurophysiol . 2005;94:327-337.
Fisher H. Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love . New York, NY: Owl Books; 2005.
References:
Aron A, Fisher H, Mashek DJ, et al. Reward, motivation, and emotion systems associated with early-stage intense romantic love. J Neurophysiol . 2005;94:327-337.
Carey B. Watching new love as it sears the brain (May 31, 2005). New York Times website. Available at: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/31/health/psychology/31love.html?ei=5070&en=ea89015ce84b87b4&ex=1127448000&incamp=article_popular_4&pagewanted=print . Accessed September 21, 2005.
Fisher HE, Aron A, Mashek D, et al. Defining the brain systems of lust, romantic attraction, and attachment. Arch Sex Behav . 2002;31:413-19.
National Public Radio. The evolution of Valentine’s Day. Available at: http://www.npr.org/programs/musings/2004/feb/valentine.html . Accessed September 21, 2005.
Tom Ashbrook. Love is all in your head [transcript]. WBUR. June 2, 2005.
Jay Rothman, Resolving Identity-Based Conflict in Nations, Organizations, and Communities (San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass Publishers, 1997)
John Burton, Conflict Resolution and Prevention (New York: St. Martins Press, 1990)
Terrell A. Northrup, "The Dynamic of Identity in Personal and Social Conflict," in Intractable Conflicts and their Transformation, ed. Louis Kriesberg, Terrell A. Northrup and Stuart J. Thorson (Syracuse, New York: Syracuse University Press, 1989), 55-82.
Roger A. Coate and Jerel A. Rosati, "Human Needs in World Society," in The Power of Human Needs in World Society, ed. Roger A. Coate and Jerel A. Rosati (Boulder, CO: Lynne Rienner Publishers, 1988), 1-20.
David J. Carroll, Jerel A. Rosati, and Roger A. Coate, "Human Needs Realism: A Critical Assessment of the Power of Human Needs in World Society," in The Power of Human Needs in World Society, ed. Roger A. Coate and Jerel A. Rosati (Boulder, CO: Lynne Rienner Publishers, 1988), 257-274.

Has anyone suggested the priesthood?

Speaking for myself only, there has to be some sort of attraction there. Otherwise, we're just going to be friends.

Very true, At this point I will be happy to have one or two GREAT friends as opposed to a mediocre partner though.

I have dated guys from one extreme to the other as far as looks and personality. It all depends on what caught my eye at the time. No one knows what is best for them then the one there at the time.

Regardless what works for one does not always work for the next one. We learn as we go along..........

Now I'm looking for that happy medium that one that can make me laugh but as well makes me feel wanted in the end the one we seem to click and enjoy a lot of the same things... But..........don't kid yourself for they still have to be the one when you look at them you want to be with them as well.............there is no way around what makes each person happy..................One should never settle.......


To me there are no Certain Types hell I would fit in too many category's.... a little here a little there go with what makes you happy regardless what anyone else thinks....

If you believe that sitting around making random posts to strangers- that I've never met and never will- on a computer-generated forum actually constitutes a "relationship," that's up to you, you're entitled to your opinion. However, I am also entitled to mine, and in my opinion, unless you actually meet someone in person and get to know them in person, it's not a "relationship," it's a fantasy, which does work for some people. I admit for a while, I did think as you do, I believed you could have a relationship with someone you've never met, but I've learned that's false due to my experience. I am not belittling anyone else's online relationship, if it works for you, great, but in my experience, it's not real.

You, and everyone else on here, only know about me what I choose to let you know about me. For all you know, I could be anyone. I could be the world's greatest actor and liar, you have no idea. I could tell you the most wonderful things to get you to like me, and then tell you the most horrible things to get you to hate me; I'm a writer, so I'm pretty good with words. I've also been lucky (unlucky?) to have known some of the biggest liars who ever lived, so I've gotten pretty good at it.

So again, in my opinion, I do not need relationships in order to live, I might desire one to enrich my life, but I do not need one. I lived in a small town in Iowa for over 10 years, and I was involved in one "relationship" that quickly went to ****. It lasted 5 months. The rest of the time, I had none. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I'm not dead, I'm not crazy, I'm not suicidal or homicidal. I'm weird and quirky and I talk too much, but that's true of many people, relationship, or not. If and when I decide I do want one, I'll go out into the real world and get one, where I'm pretty much guaranteed that who I think I'm talking to really is that person and he or she might be telling the truth about who they are and what they want out of life. They might not be just "killing time" or "marking time" until their next interesting experience comes along. That's what I've found in all of the online "relationships" I've been unfortunate enough to let myself get involved in. If your experiences have been positive, I'm glad for you, but mine have not.

I'm off this thread now, I just came back to post that to you. But feel free trying to convince everyone (and possibly yourself) that you will expire from not being in a relationship with other humans, you'll never convince me of that, but whatever helps you sleep at night can't be all bad. Cheers.

No... actually that's up to a dictionary....















..

I may not meet most of the people I chat with here, but I have formed friendships (one type of relationship) with some people. I have met a few friends in the past and plan to meet another one soon. I'm not necessarily expecting to find someone to date here, but I'm happy with getting to know the people I have so far and am happy to make friends.

I couldn't say it better.

I am finding that using my heart is yeilding better results these days. In the past, I've 'used my head' right out of what very well could have been some really great connections.

It's about chemistry afterall. You may discover what might be the most awesome person on paper that you can be set up with, but then find that you both bore the heck out of each other.