I recently read some of what woman are looking for. Some of you I can understand why you run into the wrong guy. Some of the people you looking for, just don't exist. I have made mistakes in my past. I've messed up bad. I never look at a persons past. I look at the right now. I think automatically we tend to be leary. I just think some of these women need to tone it down. Expectations are way to high. Your on the internet for Christ sake. It seems most of you are trying to mold the man. That just ain't going to happen unless God deals with him. Some lady wrote" I want a confident man but not cocky. What is she going to do measure him with an instrument I am unaware of. Listed was about twenty things to be. Most of what she was looking for contradicted the others. Stop trying to change people and change yourself. Don't make someone adapt.

That'a pure wrong and headed for trouble.

Welcome!
But have you took a look at what(some) men want??

THANK YOU Slipslide,,THATS the stuff I have been saying on here forever,,but with MUCH opinions reflexing THATS NOT THE CASE,wink.
WELCOME ON BOARD BRO,,and feel free to join into some posts and speak your peace,,life here is what ya make it to be.
And FRIENDS just happen as time goes by in smiles reading and typing
GOOD LUCK,and have some FUN.
Peace, Love and Be Real...

I'm with wolfchic you need to read what some men want. Come on get real!

Why should women lower their expectations just because you think they're too high?

I'm with sweet on this,

I think you miss the point,, if someone has an opportunity to be honest about what it is they are looking for, they should do that and not waste others time


saying I want a confident but not cocky man is no different than saying I prefer a fit man but not a musclehead, its about personal perception of EXCESSIVENESS , which everyone is entitled to

I can change myself because I WANT to change, but not because I want a man to fit my life better. Id prefer to be alone than to feel pressured to be someone other than me.

I think, with all the people there are in the world, there is a VAST and COMPLEX combination of character and physical traits they may have and there is none that just 'DONT EXIST' except maybe men who fly without planes or something truly not yet POSSIBLE.

When it comes to character traits though, anything is possible with a human being and I believe it is peoples DISHONESTY about what they want which leads to bad decisions much more often then them being honest about what standards are important to them , however 'non existent' others may assume those standards to be.

So in a nutshell...you are saying women should lower their standards to accomodate a man?

I think if we just take care of ourselves and let others be who they are, things will work out.

stating what one would like to see, doesn't mean it will happen. I look at this as I have just as much as a chance of meeting somone as anyone else does. The thing is for me, being it's the net. Do I want to play the internet game or do I want to meet someone. Life is going to play it's self out whether we like it or not.



Now if I would listen to my own words half the time. I might be better off

I have.

I agree Another big problem other than the dishonesty of what people expect in others is the dishonesty in what others pretend to be. I don't say what I want in a man anymore because they never read it anyway; they always ask the same dumb *** questions and basically make it clear to me that they just want a piece...I played along and answer the questions and later mention that they "didn't read my profile did they" and they stop writing LOL. I know what I want and if I'm not what a guy wants, cool...we're not for each other, but I'm sick of married men pretending to be perfect gentlemen who are single or funny and caring until you do or don't give it up. Women are just as much at fault by the way, but dishonesty is a major problem...fake *** people.

I could agree except for this line 'Stop trying to change people and change yourself. Don't make someone adapt.'

IT seems kind of contradictory, dont ask others to adapt but let them expect you to. My personal belief is people should adapt only because they want to change something about themself and never JUST to 'find a mate' (male or female). Know what you want and be honest about what you can deliver,, makes it pretty simple.

so OP if you don't ever look at a person's past to judge them, would you date a woman who had smoked crack while pregnant?

how about someone who was arrested for smuggling guns into another country?

how about a grand theft auto conviction?

sorry, anyone i date gets judged; c'est la vie.

Past performance is an excellent indicator of future behavior.

Not a perfect indicator........some people learn from mistakes.

for me ,depends upon how FAR in the past and for what duration.

For instance, if I knew a man had hit his girlfriend when they were 20 years old and said man is now thirty something with no other incidents,,its no issue.

If I know the same man jumped on a woman last year,, its gonna be much more pressing in my mind.

I still think he's more saying that women EXPECT a MAN to change for HER..
Where I can see some thinking that,,but also some MEN feeling that same way not just ladies.
My POINT I was trying to make is WE FIND EACH OTHERS INDIFFERENCES
A COMPLIMENT TO WHO WE BOTH ARE......and NO-ONE should ASK or WANT to TRY and change the one they said THEY REALLY DO LIKE or LOVE them..
And WE don't change WHO WE HAVE BECOME!
WE can be OPEN,,Non- Judgemental,,,yet SOME AREAS of lives can MAKE DRAMATIC IMPACTS ON WHO SOMEONE WAS ONCE as they COULD become AGAIN..
Like this very sweet, caring, loving women I met once on here who was soooooo, cool and funny..
But when she wanted me to measure her box she had ahold of,
I SAID GOODBYE!!!!
SHE was a SERIAL BOX KILLER!!!!! I HAD NO IDEA...
Then she would bury them...









OH,,that was BADDDDDDDD,,,,, :rofl

lol, yeah , you lost me on that one

I read things from guys like they 'want a girl who likes the outdoors and looks HOT without trying' I am sure there are girls like that and I am sure that I am not one of them. I prefer good old HVAC and I actually have to make some effort if I want to look "HOT' as I am usually just pretty normal looking.

I dont doubt these guys can find such a girl though just because their description doesnt suit me.

Its just a reference point when people describe the relationship or type of person they are interested in,, it helps those of us who would not be the right person from wasting anyones time and it helps those who do fit the 'description' to have some solid footing upon which to develop a potential relationship.

I think most people expect too much from each other, I've come to the conclusion that I'm guilty of this as well. I'm always expecting a man to treat me a certain way, and either he just doesn't give enough of a damn about me personally to do it, or he's simply not capable of it for anyone. Either way, it never goes the way I want it to. I'm not sure what the solution is for this, I guess no one should expect anything from anyone, and if they happen to get something good out of a relationship, just count yourself lucky.

There are cases where Keeping it real goes wrong.

This is one of those cases...

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=11915&title=when-keeping-it-real-goes-wrong