Okay, dragging this specifically from my other topic, as it has always fascinated me.

I was taught that No means No! Period. No if, ands or buts about it. It was ingrained so much that even with fantasy games, "no" is not used, unless it was truly meant to be stopped. Find another word for the game.

I've had guy friends get pissed off because their girlfriends would use it jokingly. And then eventually the gals would get serious, but the guys didn't know the difference, and would get in trouble. One friend even had rape charges brought about, though they were later dropped.

I can understand their confusion. And I do agree that it was a crappy way of dealing with things.

But guys, there's a way to handle this. It's a basic retraining method along the lines of dog obedience. When she says "No", stop. Get up, walk away. You may not like it, and she may be confused, but it's saving your arse. When she asks, tell her point blank. "Don't use that word unless you are deadly serious and mean it". If it's part of a game, find a different word. Back off when she says it enough times, and she'll stop saying it.

No one said it will be easy, especially if you are both hot and horny, but isn't that prefereable to a rape charge?

I have a friend that is a girl. Sometimes some of the guys would play around with her and she would say stop and some of the guys didn't get the hint. Now I don't know who, where or when this happened at that time to her, but we had a talk one day. I started asking her questions.

Like, do they hear you when you say stop or no.

Do you laugh when you say stop or no.

Are you serious or playing.


Well one day latter down the line. I was at a friends house and a couple of her friends were there playing with her, rough housing. She was asking them to stop, but the thing was. She would say it to where no one could really hear her, and she would be laughing like a little girl. So i'm looking at her and i'm even having kind of a hard time, but I realized after a bit. She was being serious and when they stoped she got all mad and went outside.


I went out there to talk to her and explained to her, that you need to speak up and be more agressive in saying it. That's because most guys don't pay attention to it and think she is just playing. So I went in and explaind to her friends. Well the guys. You guys need to learn how to leasten and hear what someone is saying.

So like the OP said, if you hear it enough times in that moment. Stop

The type of girls that do that are dangerous. Then when one of their implants gets deflated or their extensions ripped out or their orange skin starts streaking, they cry foul to Willie Wonka like the Jersey Shore hos they are. I believe every girl on that show deserved an azz beating and it changed my stance on men should never hit a woman.

A lot of girls today, think they can get away with a lot of things they really shouldn't. It's the same ones that will antagonize a guy and then are shocked when they get hit. I am not of the belief that you never hit a woman. If someone is acting the fool and pushing the other one to the brink, I say have at her and knock the **** out of her so she learns her lesson.

Anyway, no means no and when a person uses that word (no matter the situation) they better mean it.

Can I open this topic up just a little more? Women, don't dress "heezy fo sheezy" if you don't plan on getting some. A lot of women act all surprised and victimizied when they wear sexually suggestive clothing and then men come on to them, and they never anticipated it. If you're going to play games, you better be prepared to show your cards, because someone may call your bet.

I agree with the OP. Its not worth the rape charge. And it you are with a girl who is going back and forth on the "no" word, just walk away. She's immature and not worth the trouble she'll be in the long run.

I agree, Ruth, well said.

I have to disagree with you on this. Clothes have very little to do with people behaving like f@cktards. What a woman wears, should not give a man cart blanche on HIS behavior. Now granted, some women have no idea the difference between sexy and sleazy...big difference. Some are attention whores and that's all they got to work with. But men need to be responsible for their own actions and also not be shocked if HE gets smacked for inappropriate behavior.

SO WHAT PART OF NO , DONT PEOPLE UNDERSTAND????????????

Maybe so, but if you're advertising a product, don't you think you might want to sell that product. And maybe if a particular client is being rude to you, you can politely ask them to go look elsewhere for their particular needs? Men are responsible, just not all men. perhaps you haven't met the "Horndogs." They usually come out on Friday and Saturday nights.

Sorry Cats, I have to disagree with this. This is what the fundie Muslim groups use as an excuse to keep their women in burqkas and under robes. Women distract men, so they hide them under giant sacks. The implication is that men can't control themselves. A woman should be able to walk buck naked down the road without being assaulted. Unless she literally asks for it, then it's hands off.

Well, I understand where you're coming from and I agree that women should be more sensitive to men in regards to this issue. Many women do not realize or do not care that their appearance will greatly affect many men. They don't understand the impact their appearance can have and I wish they did. Or they find it amusing or they so desperately need the attention that they don't care.

I do not believe for one moment that a man cannot control himself to the point he has to rape a woman because he is so consumed with lust. No matter how scantily clad she is, he does not have the right to sexually assault her. However, she is putting herself in a dangerous situation as there are men who see her as making some sort of non-verbal agreement to engage in sexual activity because of her appearance. That does not excuse the man for his actions but it is something for women to consider as a safety issue.

I don't think a hooker on the street deserves to be raped...no one does. However in the OP, it would be much better to be safe than sorry and walk away from someone playing games like that. Unfortunately, it is people like that, that play games, that make it harder when there is a rape to be proven. Some rape victims won't come forward because they are afraid that they won't be believed or they think others will think they deserved it.

Wow are you digging yourself into a hole and it tells a WHOLE LOT of how YOU view women on a whole with that post right there. The words "product" and "selling" are two words you should not associate with women. Sorry, but that's how a douchebag perceives women. If a man cannot control himself if he is with a scantily dressed woman, then perhaps he should be locked up and kept away from the general population. What happens when he goes to the beach and a woman is in a bathing suit? Should he have the right to assault her verbally or physically because of the way she is dressed?

If you don't assume that what a woman wears means she wants sex, you'll be fine. Listen to her words. If she says no, back off.

Uh, no. Nice try. Go to the Club some night, and you'll see what I'm talking about. It's a meat market there and it's not just about dancing and having a good time. Oh, and on the beach? If you are dressed in an attractive two-piece bikini-thong, expect to be approached by men, that's just how it is, not what I think. Do not presume to judge me, I am merely an observer of human behavior.

We know that, but what a woman wears expresses something about her intent, doesn't it? You get all dolled up and wear sexy perfume and an outfit, but you only go to the Club to have a good time, and nothing more? Don't oversell yourself if you don't want to, that's all I'm saying.

If ladies want to go to get dressed to go out and have fun, what's the problem? You should not assume that just because she's showing a bit of skin that she wants to have sex with anyone and everyone who approaches her. I know women who enjoy going out with their girlfriends just for fun. They get dressed up and everything and are not going out just to get it on with men.

Not necessarily. A woman can wear a business suit and expect sex. Maybe that is the style that the woman likes. It could be for an ego boost because they are feeling bad about themselves but not looking for sex. it could be the atmosphere that they dress up for (like the club you mentioned)

Basically 99% correct, why put yourself in that kind of scenario to begin with. Don't bluff that you're hot and you're desirable, and then pull the reigns in and say you're not interested. What did you think would happen? The key is, don't play games, because not everyone understands the rules. Just be honest about what it is you want.

I'm going by what you posted about "human behavior" and your notions of because that's the way it is and it should be accepted. Perhaps viewing woman as humans and not a product to be bought, you might understand that it's not alright in any environment.