What would it take for me to agree to a second date? He would have to show up on the first date. He would have to look like his photo and act like he has shown himself to be while we were chatting on line and on the phone. He would have to call and ASK for that second date.

yada yada yada OH girl. ur right on the mark. hehehehe

Well the first date would be based on the fact the conversation went well prior.

Actually upon meeting them it would depend if we clicked and how the conversation went. Things I look for within the first meet is sense of humor, eye contact, smile, and if they can carry on a conversation. Hopefully the conversations will flow with ease with plenty of laughter.


As long as the date went well and neither of us were looking to see where the exit was for a fast escape. Then sure I would go out on the second one for at times it is hard to tell when both are a bit nervous on meeting for the first time.

Hummm that is based on if he asked me.

Second Date? This would be after a some emails and then a lot of phone conversations and then a "meet and greet".If I feel comfortable, then there would be the first date. If things go well, some nice easy talking back and forth, a few laughs, and I leave with the feeling that he was upfront and honest, then a second date is no problem. Now the third date.......???

seems to me that if you have to ask for the second date you prolly shouldnt

if during the first date you click and it works then the second date is kinda just assumed by both

and if it doesnt click and you ask, it usually turns out to be a mistake

Good answer, and I would assume the other person was successul in both sharing with you what their interests were, and you opened up and shared yours as well. I have had a lot of one-sided dialogues, where either she does all of the talking, or I do, not because I wanted to but she was just shy or nervous. There is a careful balancing act it would seem at times. I have also had dates where she had a good time and I didn't, or I did and she didn't. Careful planning and pre-discussion of where you want to go and what you want to do may be in order.

I want to spend time with someone who can talk with me, not at me. And not someone who will be silent the whole time.

My last date was actually decent. He was a little nervous, but the conversation was good. I would have gone out with him again if he hadn't been completely indecisive and if he had not forgotten we were supposed to go out one night.

I hope my next one goes as well as yours. I have been with a few that either lectured and droned on and on about their job, or they interrupted me mid-sentence frequently, or they were so shy or withdrawn into their shell you could give them 10 minutes and they wouldn't open up. It's a date, it shouldn't be like cracking open an oyster or cross-examining them on the witness stand.

hah. I had one date where the guy went on and on about Star Trek. It was horrible.

Hey don't you ever talk about Star Trek like that again.

Not necessarily. If the date goes well, then one of the people on the date is going to end up asking the other out again. If neither asks, I would guess it didn't go so well.

Star Trek talk and dates do not mix!

Well, if you think about it, it's like discussing religion or politics or exes. I mean the whole which is better? Star Wars or Star Trek? Who's the better captain? Kirk or Picard? It's just all so much pointless bickering and drama, who needs it?

It wasn't even that. It was just about Star Trek! I'd try and change the subject and he'd go back to Star Trek. Obviously there was no second date.. .

GOOD CONVERSATION! I'm good at converstaions. My first date was just me babbling on- I felt like a complete wacko, the thing was, I was giving him plenty of opportunity to say something. Anything.

I know, just making light of the comment. Which brings me to my next point, humor. You don't get his jokes, she doesn't get his. Do you at least give them credit for trying, or does it have to be Last Comic Standing? What if he tells a joke that goes over the line or what if she does? Would you tell them that's uncalled for and forgive them for it? Or will you just laugh it off and hope they don't make a habit of it.

If I don't find something funny, I'm not going to laugh at it just to make him feel better. If our sense of humor is completely different, we're probably not going to get along well enough to date.

See, that's the real trick here. You two know almost nothing about each other. He doesn't know what you might find funny, you might not know what makes him laugh. So you start with general funny jokes, anecdotes and stories and you work your way out from there. It's the first date leading into the second date, there are just so many unknowns, and you don't know really what each other finds humorous if that's important to you. Just as common interests or subjects you like to discuss, it's so new and so early, it may take one or 2 or 10 dates to find out what they are interested in talking about. But then again, if they're a Trekker on the first date, then I see your point, Scotty beam me out of here.

This will get lost, because it's yesterday now, but lets keep this thread going. What I would expect is that she keeps the conversation going. And she would let me know if there is a subject that she doesn't want to talk about. I have many interests, so it shouldn't be too hard for us to find someething to talk about. It's give and take, we are not clones, but there probably is something that interests you that interests me. Common ground.

I'm pretty easy to please, as long as they don't raise any red flags, we're good to go. Also, if I haven't warmed up to them by the end of the first date, then I wouldn't see a second date anytime soon.