you ever got hurt and not sure who to turn o or talk to then this is the place for you ..are you still hurting and only here to mingle and try to mend a broken heart .well let ot all your feelings and of course please share your experience and how you have been coping .We are here to listen .

I recommend chainsaws and wood to cut. Or driving t-posts and puitting up fence. Or any number of hard physical labor that leaves you mentally and physically wore out and to tired to give a rats arse.

Ok, hon, you go first. I see you have 4 posts and joined yesterday. Congrats on posting your first topic. Welcome to the site, and may the Force be with you.

Yes, I got hurt very badly. I was married for 3 1/2 years until last February. My husband decided to go back to his exwife! I was incredibly "In Love" with him and would do anything for him. This was a huge surprise to me, no warning at all.

It all began when he told me he wasn't happy with me anymore. I don't think he was happy period. Anyway, things started really getting bad a few days later when he purposely let me overhear conversations with his ex (I called him and he left his phone on so I could hear what they were saying). I confronted him giving him the perfect opportunity to come clean and asked him if he still had feelings for her. He denied it. Even said he "knew he had more to lose then he did to gain" if he went back.

He made life hell for me at that time, kept making me feel like everything was my fault in our relationship, bad enough that I took my son out of school and left town for a few days. Little did I know the day I left to give him his space, he left too, he moved back in with her the same day. Two days later I came home, called him at work to tell him we needed to talk things out and again he made it hell, said he wasn't coming home if I was there. I told him if I left I was ready to tell my parents we were over. So, I did.

The same day I left, he finally came clean with everything and said he still had feelings for her and he never got over his divorce from 5 yrs ago. Said he didn't "want" to feel that way. Said that if they put me and her side by side ANY man would choose me over her. But, he didn't he chose to be with her. Funny thing is 4 days later when we decided to meet to settle finances he told me he wanted to come home, he didn't want a divorce, he didn't REALLY love her.

WHAT I DID: Well at that very moment I screamed at him so hard I thought the roof was going to come off the house and was pretty sure the neighbors could hear me. I walked around glaring at him and slammed the front door as I walked out. I put the house up for sale that day, made him get ALL of his stuff out of the house the following week, changed the locks on the door, hired an attorney, went on a 2 1/2 wk awesome vacation with my son and divorced him 7 months later. lol Our divorce became final the day before his birthday, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM! He has called me crying, texted me drunk that he could fix things if I would let him! WHATEVER!!!!

Hell hath NO fury like a woman scorned!!

Now I am happily divorced, yeah!

when i break up with someone i use the coping too

rain frog am glad you put him in his place ..well am going through some ordeal of my own..was dumped via an email what mature adult would do that expect a 28 year old guy hmm anyhow when i asked him to meet and talk i wanted to just look him in his face when he tells me those words .I met him and i asked him if there is anything i would have done to change the situation and he said no so i wished him luck and told him i got to be somewhere i swear when i saw his face he was crying saying he didnt expect my reaction and thought that maybe it was a relief for me .Well i just raised my head high and walked out of that coffee shop with my dignity un touched.that was on the 17th of December after buying him christmas presents was so glad to take them back and get my money back..Anyhow i rejected his please of friendship why would i wanna be his friend jeez can you guys plz come up with another line afer dumping a woman coz that is old school anyhow told him i dont need him a a friend and i dont wanna hear from him.Around the 24th he started calling my cell i didn't respond he left a vm asking me if i can call him i did the Nc (no contact) its a great technique to use if you want to get over anyone block any communications btn the two of you no calling,texting,public websites just forget they exist and try to concentrate on yourself that's what i did and i tell you wow it does work after a week he was calling non-stop and at the end he wanted to meet for coffee i was ok with it but i had no expectations so we met i guess he was throwing bread cramps at me thinking am gonna stick around told him am so great and had a lot going on for me .kept the conversations short he spent most of the time talking about his life than i did..anyhow when i saw him again i was so over it and when we hugged it was kinda weird coz honestly i still care for him but i cant settle for second best and his gonna have to work his *** off to proove to me or else i deserve the best love out there .So to all you wonderful guys and ladies out there that were hurt by selfish people just know we are here to listen and just try to share experiences.Rain frog your experience had a wonderful ending and am glad you really let go coz u deserve better than that.

well , your dignity was touched since you asked him to meet you . he was just too naive to see that , that's all .

when someone tells you they want to break up with you well they mean it so bad it's itching at their brain and it's making them scratch their eyes out .

it's common knowledge that most people are capable of a lot of things other than facing that they don't love you/want to be with you anymore ...

and when they finally do it , then that just means that they've had enough and they can't stand you anymore .

otherwise it would just be easier to continue lying to you .

Louisville slugger to a tree.
About ten minutes of that and you won't care about the relationship troubles.

I've been hurt, who hasn't? I listen to music, it seems like that's my answer to everything, but it does work. I also write, alot. I've gotten out of the habit recently because there isn't much to write about. I'm not so sure that's a good thing.

underdog thanx for your comment but i was the mature one in that situation i didnt meet to ask him back i met him so that we break up in a more mature way and if it wasnt you how would you know if my dignity was touched ..this is not a forum of debate but rather sharing experiences .And unlike women men make quick decisions and sry to say underdog but he realized he had made a mistake but it was a lil bit too late.Some men just dont know how to communicate you just rush to quick decisions .Again this is a forum of sharing break up and coping experiences so plz no negativity here and dont be too harsh to judge someone's experience this is about sharing not conflicting or arguing abt anything.

When youre actually IN LOVE and something happens to change that oh the hurt last a lifetime...JUST cope

I have hurt others

Others have hurt me

The world revolves

I survived another day

We all shall live

breaking up is the hardest part. coping with it comes with time.

sweeti, i agree, breaking up other than face to face is immature..have to admit i was one of those guys too...long time ago though...usually though i would be more courteous to the ones i really had something with...

roko

I usually grab a machete... I love my machete. Dang thing is 40 years old and still in use. Much better then the cheap crap that's sold nowadays.

Chainsaws.
Louisville sluggers.
Machetes.

Mon.
I could have coped better with those.

I agree with you sweetfi, breaking up should be done face to face. My ex didn't have the balls to face me when he told me he hadn't gotten over his ex, or wasn't over his marriage from 5 yrs. ago. I got this news over the phone. I honestly don't think he could have told me face to face. We were married 3 1/2 yrs, I deserved more than a phone call. But, you should have seen him squirm 4 days
later when we DID come face to face. (That was when I did all of the yelling) didn't really get me anywhere nor was I expecting it to but it wasn't all pent up inside anymore either.

Everybody handles grief in their own way. I don't think any way is better than the other or any right or wrong way. I'd already lost a husband of 16 yrs (he needed a heart transplant and didn't get one) so I figured if I could handle that I could handle ANYTHING! Stay busy, keep your mind busy, reading, visiting friends or family, do anything but lay around and mope. lol Sometimes easier said then done. I still have my good days and bad.

Funny that you mentioned that when you hugged him it was sort of wierd. After about 5 months I had to meet him to get his signature on some paperwork. This would be our first meeting since he left.
It was incredibly hard on me and he kept trying to stroke the side of my cheek with the back of his hand. It was too much! He then asked me to kiss him and against my better judgment I did. I think that, that was really what helped me to get over him or at least on the road to getting over him. I didn't feel the same way anymore that I once had. My heart wasn't "in" it anymore!

For me I still have days where just breathing is hard to do. Getting thru all of the 1st holidays alone was a pretty horrendous ordeal but again I survived, I even survived his textings on each of the holidays. It's been pretty quiet lately though, I think he's finally getting the picture! You are so right No contact is the best way to get over someone.

Sorry, if this got too long.

Thx,

Susan

hey susan

i actually enjoyed your post and it really doesn't matter how long it is as long as it helps you deal with whatever your going through its alright..I know the feeling of letting them actually kinda manipulate us gosh at times i just wanna scream at him for breaking my heart and still sending me mixed messages but hey its not worth it .Recently the text messages on how am doing are just driving me nuts i think i just wanna go away on vacation so that am out of reach .No contact does work until they start bothering you over and over about how your doing as if it matters to them thye just want o have their cake and eat it so today i was very busy with work and there comes another text askin me how my day went as if he cares ? duh i just deleted it and i felt that i had my power back and am just going to keep deleting if he doesn't want to be with me why would he care how my day went or my weekend and week.Susan i know its a hard time but time does heal the wounds . A few things that can help you cope is going back to the gym ,joining a volunteering organization,yoga also helps a lot too and you need to just enjoy your time get a funny movie and just enjoy life and when he decides your still good enough am sure he will know what to do but am done with throwing me bread crumbs.I hope you feel better susan because sometimes its hard but time makes it better .

Breaking up should be face to face. Wow, I wish I had that luxury and honesty, but no! My ex is a drunk alcoholic bi-polar nutjob liar, and from her hospital room, in a drugged up stupor, she lies to the cops and has me arrested for a trumped-up DV allegation. 5 months later, all of the cards are on the table, I spend 3 large on an attorney, and I'm found NOT guilty by a jury of 6. There never was any closure, never any apology, never any remorse, never any communication after the verdict was read. My ex is a coward, a liar, and a cheat. May God have mercy on her soul.

castloveme

am so sorry to hear about that ..well people g through a lot especially when it comes to people with depression thas why you have to be careful how to handle situations with emotionally unstable people.Well sometimes its better not getting closure because as much as you need it its not gonna help you feel better but rather worse maybe at times its best to leave the unknown where it is.Everyone deserves closure but not everyone receives it but the only thing that makes it better is taking time to heal after all when you eventually move on its with someone better,stronger and who is going to make you feel better.Just because the people we cared for want a relationship to end it doesn't mean we are bad.mean people .If he doesn't find you attractive anymore trust me his going to go out there and try to look for greener pastures but wil be disappointed and will in the end come back crawling because it never gets greener but worse.hang in the re castloveme am sure things will get better and come to think about it your better off with a bi-polar person they are the worst emotionally draining people out there .so be glad your out of it..