So what's the problem then? Are you upset because they love you and you don't return it? Are you upset because you feel incapable of loving someone? If you never told them you love them, but they love you, I wouldn't feel guilty. That was their choice to tell you that, when you hadn't said it first. We're only responsible for ourselves. If you're wanting to feel love for someone, maybe you should try getting to know them out of the bedroom for a while.

ummm yes

it is

the 60's are over. the old "love em and leave em" mentality is no longer acceptable behavior

if you're not interested in a women beyond getting in her pants you would do better on something like adult friend finder

Well yeah actually i am upset i feel that i am incapable of love! It's kinda a problem ja know!! I don't mind the judgements from you guys it's cool i understand thats why i come here. You know I have thought of not having sex for just that reason but i always give in to the temptation.

Look I really don't mind the judgements it's cool, but's it's really not as you describe! I really like them and i want it to work out but it just doesnt! Im not trying to hurt anyone, but it's cool think what you want!

just cause you have sex with a chick doesn't mean she is the one you'll fall in love with

love has a lot more to do with chemistry and compatiblity than gymnastics and swapping bodily fluids

Ronny the best thing for anyone is to be upfront and honest - if all you want is a FWB say so, if after you get some A$$ you feel that you'll feel nothing more for them, say so and cut your losses and theirs.

good luck

Okay now your stating the obvious as your informing me! the question is a serious one, really it is. If your not leading a woman on should you have sex with them before your in love with them? Thats the jest of the question!

I'm not judging you. I try not to judge anyone. I'm a live and let live person. What I'm trying to say here is, if you don't love them, yet they love you, if I were you, I wouldn't feel guilty about that. I've never been in love with anyone before, and if they were in love with me, that was their problem. I've never led anyone on. If you're upfront with these women, and tell them it's just sex, with no feelings, and they allow themselves to care about you, that's pretty much on them. We all make choices, it's very easy to leave someone who doesn't feel the same way. No one is obligated to be with anyone else.

okay i guess i am not explaining myself well enough. I want an LTR and i am completely upfront and honest!!!!! It's not like they have no participation here!!!!

then just take it easy dude, sounds as if you're trying to force the issue.

I don't believe we have any control in whom we love, just relax and stop making this a project. Hell it's not like you're not having fun in the interim

I agree, you can't help who you love, hell, you can't even help who you like- unfortunately.

Is this:

1. A moral dilemma;
2. A psychological dilemma;
3. A relationships dilemma; or
4. A logistics dilemma?

1. You use them, and you dish out hurt when you break up, even if your intention is not that. Your intention is to have fun, but you make others carry the cost of the relationship in terms of pain and hurt. It can only be righted if you gave them lavish gifts or rescued their kids from foreign country prisons, or something like that. You would need to even out the score, because you owe these ladies big time. This is the moral answer.

2. You must learn to live with your guilt over the imbalance of the costs and benefits involved. If guilt is not a problem for you, they yes, continue, because it's happiness that's the only thing worth living for, and quick sexual gratification seems to make you happy. Carry on.

3. As long as you are clear with your intentions, and give them a definite expiry date to your relationships, your lady friends should have no complaints. You'd not be misleading them, but it would be helpful if you could clear the air very soon in every such relationship, saying to the dame, "Hon, I am not emotionally involved here. Proceed at your own risk. However, if you don't put out soon, then there is nothing to proceed to, as I need to go into the physical part. Oh, and in a few months it's going to end. So there you have it, take it or leave it.

4. Is what you worry about a question of one woman you give up wants you and pesters you, and that may taint your new relationship with your next victim? Yeah, that's a problem.

As long as she knows it's just sex, you're not leading her on. If she lets her feelings get involved with a guy who is upfront about not wanting more from her, that's her problem to deal with.

Yeah i do feel guilty thats why I asked! It really f'n sucks doing that to them! It makes me feel like a complete azzhole! But really i dont lead them on!!!!! I tell them everything!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean i tell them everything, unless there is no time. You know this is completely unresolved! The reality is i'm not gonna say no to sex cause i'm too weak, so it's just makes me want to say hell with it all! I'm gonna go listen to David Lee Roth!

If I am not capable or ready for a serious relationship I let the person know straight up at the beginning. I tell them if I think they are really starting to like me I will quit seeing them. You have to realize they will say they aren't because they don't want to give you up. It is then your responsibility to cut them loose for their own good before more feelings are involved.

Don't say you are interested in a long term relationship when you don't know if you are capable of one. That statement builds up expectations in them. And if you truly do want a long term relationship, don't continue dating and being with someone that you know is not the one. You know if the chemistry and compatibility is there. Why waste their time or yours?

Decide what you really want and be responsible about what you go after. JMO

Well, that's something you're going to have to come to terms with on your own, and there's nothing any of us here can do or say to help you. If I get involved with a man and he tells me it's just sex, he never wants to be with me as a girlfriend or whatever, and I choose to be with him, under those conditions, I have no one to blame but myself if I get hurt. Now if he lies to me, and says he wants a relationship, and he loves me, blah blah, and then he tells me to piss me off because he never loved me, he just used me for azz, yeah, I have a right to be upset.

You're taking on guilt for no reason, but it's up to you to choose to let it go. Good luck.

sounds to me like all u really want is a booty call and nothing else.and your trying for us to justify what u are doing.not going to happen from me.

NOPE! One should ALWAYS be HONEST about their feelings.........although there is a number of men & woman who don't know how to be ALONE and will put up with just about anything? I need it ALL or NOTHING!

Oh well i guess it's time to just do bootie calls then!