What would you recommend for a child who is 10 years old and he is violent and does not take commands from parents and school ?.

maybe a Dr? How old?

Some kinda small time yelling in his ear.ten minute meal,shower bed time,rise and shine camp

Ooops I see 10............Well that's tough

What's his history and home life like? He could have unresolved issues that need attention. Maybe it's the enviorment he is in and needs help dealing with things. Talk to him, listen, see what's going on with him, and if needed have him talk to a dr. or other professional. Make sure to be there for him and let him know you're there for him.

I have seen DIVORCE make kids violent & angry Parents fighting is really bad too. I raised my girls on my own never got Married & they came out GREAT!

Has a complete physical been done? There may be a health issue that is not obvious..to child or adults, would be a place to start.

Health issue like what ?. Mental, physical or both ?.

Sorry double post .

Well the first thought that comes to mind is commanding a child is probably not the best approach to communicate with them. No softee as a Mom I understand the need to have a child that will follow directions but at ten years old if they are being really oppositional there is probably something wrong. The trick will be opening lines of communication so that you seem interested with out blameing him for the reaction he is having to whatever is the problem.

My first guess is if things have been shall we say repositioned because of divorce that may have created some confusion. Trying to present a united front, at least not the war of the roses between family, as far as parenting goes is probably a good idea.

Second is with the maturity that we often see as a given because of size or some of the language kids use at ten they are still ten and don't have the emotional maturity to cope with many situations.

The changes that come at age ten at school for most ten year olds can be a challenge. Girls usually present an overwhelming challenge because they are usually faster to matture and often dominate boys mentally hands down. Depending how the school is set up both older girls and boys can make life really miserable for a ten year old boy. A child who is violent is usually reacting to his environment. I would not rule out the possibility that it could be an abusesive teacher or coach or babysitter.

I would rule out any physical causes. With more and more kids obese, useing drugs, or drinking at extreamly young age I would definitely have highly qualified pediatrician do a complete work up. Diabetes and allergies can cause chronic headache and other symptoms that would make any child miserable to be around. With out a tox screen you could be over looking any number of problems which caught early could be resolved. Especially if it is something simple as low vision, hearing, or dental issues. Since you want to have accurate information when you talk to the doctor you need to start charting your childs behavior, diet, sleep routine, and other influences. Don't over react if you discover something unpleasant. This is not a time to blame of self flogging but to give your child the support he needs to bring his life back into control.

The frusterateing thing with ten year olds they tend to ventilate be tween wanting to be hugged and cuddled on your lap to absolute freeze out. Follow your instinct and refuse not to to give your child love and hugs and praise whenever you "catch them being good". You may have to create opportunities for success and praise. And contact. Turn off the computer, TV, cell phone, and video game and play with your child. Getting somewhere where you have to communicate like a car, or stranded camping in an airport, or apartment. Be armed with some board games or kid jokes maybe a mutual interest you both can enjoy. Kids tend to communicate when they are relaxed like anyone else. (Keep in mind theis is not a time to dump your issues on your child.)

Klonapin

Could be anything..maybe mental or physical.
I was just suggesting a physical check up, blood tests, the whole nine yards, may be that something is going on and the child does not "feel" pain and is not sure of their own reactions.. just that something isn't right and can't explain it. Possibly allergies, sleep disruption..hard to really say with the little bit of information you asked about.
Could very well be a chemical imbalance also..like I said, hard to really tell with just the comment as far as ...a 10 year old who is violent and does not take commands.
Really just the word.."commands"..doesn't settle well with me.
A ten year old is old enough to reason with so..maybe a whole different approach with that may help. Just my own thoughts..since you asked.

My son is 10. He is getting to the age where he wants to be indpendent. I found that consistency is very important. We have a set of written rules in my house. I had him help me make the rules and also the punishments. That way when he breaks them he knows what his consequences are. He has his moments like any other child. At these times I back off let him gather his thoughts a little and then go back in and calmly speak with him. It is really hard for a child to put their true feelings into words and hurt and frustration often comes out in anger. Of course every child is different. I hope everything goes well with you.

[color=[purple]Maybe the obvious sit down with him and have a long talk people would be surprised what they can find out by just talking to them.

the information given is hardly enough for one to even have any clue as to what the problem may be, but all in all I think this may be one of the worst places to ask the question, especially in regards to your son, seek professional health. I have worked in the mental health field and have stayed at a holiday inn, but surely unless one has access to a case report or has a clue as to what the child is going through then one can only make assumpions and that's dangerously asinine......Besides Psych's get paid to get to the bottom of such things, either that or take him to a therapist. and please do it before he destroys his life. Good Luck

A trip to the doctor's first. Diabetes can present as violent behavior so rule out medical conditions as the source of the problem. ADHD and other mental illnesses should be evaluated by a child psychologist.

If there are no relevant medical findings, acting out at this age is somewhat normal. He's testing boundaries and trying to establish independence. He needs to learn acceptible alternatives to violent reactions and this entails modeling appropriate behavior and establishing strict guidelines for expectations. While many may see it as tough love, now is the time to establish what is and what isn't acceptable. It'll get worse before it gets better but consistant, appropriate punishments for negative behavior coupled with ample praise and reward for positive behavior will change his attitude. He's old enough to know what he's doing but his brain isn't developed enough yet to know why he does it.

Getting to the root of the anger will be more difficult and will require patience and understanding. Try discussing the negative behavior after he's calmed down but before it's out of immediate memory and offer an alternative way of dealing with the feelings. Getting him to understand how his behaviors affect others is critical so requiring an apology before removing the punishment is crucial in helping him develop empathy, which often is lacking in violent individuals.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

Take all "white" foods out of his diet.
Ck into real food supplements & get the child "proper nutrition.

That is sooo true! I have 4. Total. Open. Sometimes forced communication does work !

definitely check into diet...we are what we eat has a fair amount of truth to it. As several have stated here already including me, a complete physical and possibly mental health ..I would lean towards the physical first. Just my own experiences with my own kids. Not so much violence..but some problems, and diet was a factor..sleep disruptions, irregular bowel movements, some food allergies. Yeast infections..boys can get to much yeast also, not just a girl thing.

Ask him what he wants out of life.

If he doesn't know say you'll choose for him.

This imposes power and forces him to consider the future.