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Topic: is he serious???
lilith401's photo
Wed 11/18/09 08:16 AM


Is there a child support order in place here?


i wouldnt waste my time....he dont keep a job long enough to pay anything out and wont stay off the pills and drugs...


No one thinks you're wrong. What you are doing is venting. We all get that. Here is my position:
You don't get to decide if you want to get a child support order. It's not your money to refuse. Get the order FOR YOUR CHILD, and then if he still doesn't pay, he can go to jail. But how are you going to tell your child, oh, I just didn't get the order because I didn't think he'd pay?

You're upset about nine dollars. I get that. But from an objective viewpoint, the larger lifetime picture is where your focus should be. Your beautiful, innocent child needs her mother to stop being mad about something she can't control and that isn't her fault. What you can control is getting that order in place.

Don't be angry. Just do what you need to do and hold your head high. Scenes in the store don't solve anything, and only model poor behavior for your daughter. Who cares what he offered to buy. Something is always better than nothing.

tanyaann's photo
Wed 11/18/09 08:16 AM
OMG people!


Okay, I don't think that OP is wrong. She was reactionary in his actions, however, there is always underlying context to all situations. As you disclosed there is more history to the story than just a father not around.


So, with all that being said.... live and learn. Reflect on situations, find solutions and live.

ashley061885's photo
Wed 11/18/09 08:16 AM

If I were you, I would go to a lawyer or something and see if you can get child support:smile: You are entitled to that


he is over 25000 in the rears on his oldedst son he has with another woman....and still isnt locked up ove rthat and she has yet to see any money from him so i think it would be a waste of time

tanyaann's photo
Wed 11/18/09 08:17 AM
And I agree with lilith, file for support regards if you will receive anything.

I have an order, knowing that I will never receive anything from him. And I wouldn't be surprised if OP's and mine's situation is very similar.

ashley061885's photo
Wed 11/18/09 08:18 AM
my whole point being that some men can really be a joke! take it how u want, everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion here. i appreciate any and all comments

ashley061885's photo
Wed 11/18/09 08:20 AM
yeah well through the family's first program they will automatically try to start the whole child support process, but it is rather hard to do on someone who does not have or keep a permanent address.

tanyaann's photo
Wed 11/18/09 08:20 AM


If I were you, I would go to a lawyer or something and see if you can get child support:smile: You are entitled to that


he is over 25000 in the rears on his oldedst son he has with another woman....and still isnt locked up ove rthat and she has yet to see any money from him so i think it would be a waste of time


Don't think of it as a waste of your time. Would you consider spending time with you child that? Or working to keep a safe home for your child a waste of time? Probably not.

It is just one step (as frustrating as it is) to making sure your child is taken care of!

Ladylid2012's photo
Wed 11/18/09 08:21 AM

my whole point being that some men can really be a joke! take it how u want, everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion here. i appreciate any and all comments


Honey..If I got the child support owed me for my 3 grown sons, I would buy a yacht and retire...

Good luck to ya..just love that baby.. :heart:

no photo
Wed 11/18/09 08:22 AM
ashley061885 maybe you need to look at it as if he payed for that you can now have your 9 $ to help get the baby things. i dont think your wrong i totally under stand were you are coming from and i have been there i have not seen a penny for my kid and dont know if i ever will.

wishing you luck and hope it works out in the end kids need there moms and dads if these parents are good and wont hurt the kids let them help.flowerforyou

tanyaann's photo
Wed 11/18/09 08:22 AM

yeah well through the family's first program they will automatically try to start the whole child support process, but it is rather hard to do on someone who does not have or keep a permanent address.



If he files for taxes, the courts can garnish that! If he pulls any paycheck that's on the books, they will find it! Believe me the state wants money from him just as much as you do!

ashley061885's photo
Wed 11/18/09 08:24 AM


If I were you, I would go to a lawyer or something and see if you can get child support:smile: You are entitled to that

This I agree with for sure....

Then also if he starts to pay...maybe he really does care...at least for the kid


i dont want you to get the wrong idea here. i would love nothing more than for him to be in her life. it truly breaks my heart to think she will grow up and never have the chance to know him. but i also know the reality. my baby makes his 4th child by 4 diff women now. and the girlfriend he got with after me is now pregnant and no longer with him. so this now makes number 5 for him. he only uses the kids to try and get what he can out of the mothers.

ashley061885's photo
Wed 11/18/09 08:25 AM


yeah well through the family's first program they will automatically try to start the whole child support process, but it is rather hard to do on someone who does not have or keep a permanent address.



If he files for taxes, the courts can garnish that! If he pulls any paycheck that's on the books, they will find it! Believe me the state wants money from him just as much as you do!



lol believe it or not he has not filed taxes in about 4 or 5 years i think. he wont because he knows it will be garnished for what he owes in back support.

lilith401's photo
Wed 11/18/09 08:29 AM
I'm sorry... I'd suggest really, really trying not to be angry at yourself or at him. Which is a tall order. It sounds like a loser got you to believe his lies and now it's over and it cannot be changed.

In the county in which I work they will prosecute for failure to pay child support. But you have to ask. And you can't ask if there's no order.

Keep an eye out for ducks and duck imposters...and take whatever he gives you. Just do what you need to do, the only thing that is a waste of time is NOT doing it because you think it will be a waste of time. You never know what can happen and being fatalistic or negative doesn't do anything to improve the situation. Stay positive!

babygurlbarbz's photo
Mon 12/14/09 09:20 PM


If I were you, I would go to a lawyer or something and see if you can get child support:smile: You are entitled to that

This I agree with for sure....

Then also if he starts to pay...maybe he really does care...at least for the kid



MONEY does not account for being a good parent you know!! He deserved what he got from her if you ask me(the bitching) and about him doing what he did to you do not take him back and if he has drug issues DO NOT give him your children without a court order that says his house is safe for your kids to be in, and if he offers to pay for something again take it but not nine dollars by as much as you can even if you dont neccesairly need it....its his duty to pay but not the only thing he has to do he has other responsibilities apart from money...i hate how some guys think that they wipe their hands by givinh their baby momma money... and before anyone asks no i do not have kids but i work with divorced families and kids and dependency cases and trust me hun there are alot of similar cases. Go to a lawyer and file a child support petition!

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