I am not very good at flirting, I guess you could say I am self aware of when I am doing it and usually stop myself, I think others can pick up on it also. If the guy is not into you he will usually turn you off and that makes me feel even worse. Anyhow, my question is this, is good flirting necessary to snag a guy or not, the girl I work with is an out right flirt, with all the cuties in the office, and even though I can hold my own, I feel I don't do this as well, so is this part necessary if you have your eye on someone, or is just talking ok?

I think that if you are interested in someone that will naturally be shown... so no worries!

Thank You Tanya, and you look beautiful without your curlers, of course you look beautiful with them

Thank you! and you are quite the looker yourself!

It's not necessary, you can just talk to a guy and let him know you're interested. Some women are naturally flirtatious, that's never been part of my personality.

ThankYou to all late nighters who responded.

If a woman doesnt flirt back with me i usually wont pursue her. here is why. I find a woman attractive and want to pursue and if i flirt with her and she doesnt respond then i think she doesnt like me. If i know she likes me like in the case of online dating because why else would she be emailing me and she wont flirt it makes me think she lacks passion and thats really scary! Wouldn't want to be in a relationship without lots of passion because without passion early where will it be 20 years from now you know?

I agree with that, but sometimes it is hard to distinguish the difference between flirting and just every day having fun, like you can flirt with your girlfriends, just joking around, where does flirting begin and having fun etc begin and end? This is where I think I am confused..

Ronny, so to be exact, what is your idea of flirting?

well it depends on the situation...some women are subtle they smile, touch, reveal cleavage, bend at the waist. sometimes you actually get into heated conversations dropping sexual inuendos. But every woman has a line they wont cross its not where your line is as long as you stay engaged. so for example as the "guy" pushing the line a girl may pull back it doesnt mean she doesnt like you anymore just that she wont go any further. online its a little different because you know theres an attraction so when you begin to flirt your just trying to find a mutual comfort level and if it's real low myself personally i feel like well maybe its not gaonna work out??? but thats just me i'm a horndog...lol!

one more thing here, harmless flirting is usually obvious if it never happens outside of the crowd it;s harmless. but if they flirt when it's one on one then i would bet it's genuine and they are interested!

But i am just saying that flirting is normal and if it makes you feel uncomfortable even though you want to then maybe you need to work at it. but if you dont like to flirt maybe you should just be yourself!

I don't understand how someone cannot have the ability to "flirt". To me, it is just human nature to do so. While I agree that there is friendly flirting, that only means that you are probably flirting with a taken woman/man and if the circumstances were different, you would probably try your darndest to be with that person. There is also the friendly flirting as it applies to a stranger you just met. You want to guage how the interest level of that person. If you see you are in, you will flirt harder. If you see you aren't getting through, you move to the next person.

I get into alot of trouble (if I am in a relationship) because flirting is just something I do. Yes, I am harmless with it. Doesn't mean I am gonna go bang a chick (if I am committed to another) because I simply do not roll that way. But I am genuinely approachable, and I talk to people (yes, moreso the ladies), and so flirting just comes out of me. One of my neighbors does like me, but he also thinks I wanna bang his wife because she and I do have this little flirt thing going on. I never would, and I have told him so. I even asked him if he wanted me to stop being flirtacious, and he said no. I think he was just trying to not sound so overzealous and controlling, but whatever. I do respect his feelings though, which is why I asked him.

Anyways, to me, flirting is just something that I do. I believe anyone can do it. A lot of shy people have a problem doing it, and the only thing that I can suggest is to try and not get so tense when you feel you want to flirt. Just let it come out, and have fun with it. Don't overthink it. Just let it come. Honestly, that is how I got started doing it.

you said
I am not very good at flirting
even though I can hold my own,

Perhaps, here in lies the problem...????

Just be you! The advice here runs the gamut because we're all different from figurative black and white to all shades between. Trying to be something you're not rarely works well. Ever hear someone not funny tell a joke? Also, for you to be attracted, does he have to be flirtatious? But if you want to try flirting...start small. But you can never go too wrong just being you. There are some inherent qualities you possess that will attract someone. There's no universal right answer here...like so many things in life. Just be you...and good luck.

Flirting is the primary magic in a developing relationship. People talk about chemistry, well chemistry is just that, chemistry; biology is just biology, biological, but flirting is in a category all its own. Its about somehow introducing nuances and inferrences into situations where the outcome is not assured and need not be so. Sex is sex, but the introduction to sex is about a man letting a woman know that they have been noticed and are being appreciated and the play is on. It's about smiling secretly but letting her see it, it's about looking quietly but letting her see it, it's about the double entendre and letting her hear it. It is all about magic and it need not involve sex at all.

Flirting is healthy for both men and women. I believe it is the base to self confidence. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE likes it when the opposite sex flirts with them. Being friendly, everyday flirting, or when he/she flirts to rise the attention of someone. But whatever it might be, when it happens, out ego, self-confidence, and personal opinion of one self goes up..... You don't have to be the type that throws one self at someone, you just gotta learn what body language is and figure out what works for you. Not everyone can be a 10 with the perfect life, and able to throw themselves out there to be caught. Figure out what your strong attributes are and use them to the fullest. Like I always say men, "women find brains just as sexy as brawn" when you know how to use it. And like anything, it takes practice.

I just am what I am and part of that is being a flirt...I don't try, it just comes naturally...I have been alone way too long

ok ladies i am confused.what should a guy do when a girl goes OUT of her way to see you.wait heres the kicker.she is married.