I don't get the secret crushes...

I realize there are many on here not looking, married, in a

relationship, that sort of thing. There are some of us who are

actually seeking a partner, I don't think I'm the only one.

So wouldn't you want to let one know there is a crush? Attempt

getting to know someone and see if there is any connection...

Is everyone just so scared or jaded to expose their crush and

take a risk?

I know, right? It's not as if hearing no from someone you don't know really anyhow would be a big deal. If you can't approach someone on the net... then just quit. Really. If you don't put yourself out there no one will know you are there.

mine is no secret

I dig papersmile

One would think that

yes..but am I the only ONE who thinks that?

No but perhaps you are only one in a hand full of people. I always thought that if you like someone, let them know, one person mentioned the other day that they won't do that because think of how embarrassing it would be if they didn't feel the same...well that's how the whole getting to know someone/ dating thing works!

Lilith is my secret crush, but shhhhhh.....don't tell her.

embarrassing...I think that's kinda silly. Not every one is going to connect..and who's going to know. hummmmmm (scratching head)

I agree completely

I was gonna tell you earlier, but I thought it might be better to do it on halloween.

Remember when you liked a boy or girl and you were gonna ask them out, but then some other person "kindly" told you that you did not have a chance in Hades of hooking up with that person?

This kind of scenario happens alot, and it is a shame that others will tear someone down like that. Society tells us that the "Nerd" cannot have the "hot chick". Or that the "slightly overweight" girl can't get the "athletic" guy. How come? Who made these rules? It is stigma such as these that make some people fearful of trying to approach, or even chat with (on the net)a person they like but they feel would be "unapproachable". And yes, it is a shame, because you never know what can happen.

Goof I do adore you. If you weren't 1800 miles away and I wasn't dating Jeff, man we'd be meeting for drinks. Plus shots, and by that I mean jello, body, and girlie iced shots like purple hooters.

I guess that makes sense..aren't we grown ups now? eh, maybe not.

There are several women here that I would have liked to date.
But I am not going to drive 1000 miles for a 'meet and greet cup of coffee and lunch'

I did take a chance, and I have found someone special!!!!!!

Gotta raise the stakes to win the big pot. I say go for it.

You took the chance..and found someone. I don't think most want to take that chance...

Understand the distance thing for sure..

I'm the one who said it would be embarrassing to admit such a thing to someone and then find out they didn't feel the same way. I stand by that statement. I wasn't aware that a person's ability to become embarrassed lessened or disappeared over time, once they became an adult, I'd be very interested to know how some of you reached this point. If there's a pill or something, yeah I want it.

I've told men I had "crushes" on them in the past. I've told men I loved them in the past. Each time I was rejected it was embarrassing and it hurt. I don't like to be embarrassed and I really don't like to hurt. So if keeping my feelings bottled up inside prevents me from experiencing any of those emotions by my own fault (because duh, I know you can't prevent hurt or embarrassment all the time, but you don't have to be the cause of it) then by all means, I will keep my mouth shut, I will keep my feelings to myself, and I don't mind missing out on "the one" because I didn't take a chance. My pride/ego/whatever is more important than the possibility of "love/like."

I admire those of you who are able to "put yourselves out there" perhaps it does make you a stronger person. I'm content not needing to define myself that way. Carry on with your disparaging comments about those who feel the same as I do.

Calleigh..

It's not a bad thing..I'm just trying to understand it...
The embarrassing part....no one would know that you put yourself out there like that. Unless the person you told, told everyone else..ego thing maybe for them. Over time I have just cared less and less what others have thought of or think of me..
Not disparaging..just some thoughts
And I'm thinking most feel the same way you do because very few had any comment on the subject anyway.
Majority wins..you are right!

I think it's related to that 'no pain, no gain' dogma/adage....

It is a decision you make, it's not something you grow into or out of. You just have to remind yourself that it's not the end of the world if they say no, and in the net venue, what power do they have over you because aren't they a stranger? Don't give others powers they don't truly possess, much less deserve.

I'm here for the belly dancer girls. I haven't found any yet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfdAX8n6UbA