You may have seen this before...
If not, this is for those who haven't.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday is for Sports!
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

4. Crying is blackmail.

5. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and Void after 7 Days.

9. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

10. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

11. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

12. Whenever possible, PLEASE say whatever you have to say during commercials.

13. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
Just enjoy the scenery.

14. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit and we have no idea what mauve is.

15. If it itches, it will be scratched.. We do that.

16. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

17. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... REALLY!

19. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports or other famous women.

20. You have enough clothes.

21. You have too many shoes.

22. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

I know you'll make us sleep on the couch now but we don't mind.
It's just like camping but warmer.

There you have it.
Were simplier then you thought.

If after millions of years of being together men and women still do not understand each other, I don't think any guide will help.

wow thank you...my life will now be simplified!!!!!

that’s not a guide that’s a declaration of war

Never say babe you have too many shoes.....

I took the liberty to add/delete somethings...

Here you go!

Yeah, get back to us on how that works for ya.

Oh what a relief, But I never wanted to understand men, not much of a challenge that way.

so true, its funny!!(hoo boy, am i gonna get it!!)

Is it just me or do I hear a bit of anger in this list?

Either way thanks for setting the record straight for the entire male populations wants, needs and desires from us, the opposite sex. Indeed I now feel better prepared to date again!

No Wonder I am divorced!!!

most males I know would read this, and have a good chuckle..wouldn't take it too serious jmo

Id like to see you take a crap with the toilet seat up.


YOU put it up.. YOU put it down .. you need it too.

What I want someone to explain to me is, if men are so simple-minded and don't get basic concepts, why the hell would I want to date one??? Makes no sense to make excuses that make you seem like an idiot in order to get your way, but what do I know, I'm just a woman...

Maybe he's too busy scratching to put it back up?

et tu, Mikey?

Well.. glad to see humor is dead...
Sheesh...
I'll remember to be plenty a$$nine next time I see slander against men...

Which is, idk, always?

Damn...
Take a joke..

And, I personally for whoever said that, do put up the seat and down every single time; and I don't b*tch just like the list said.. Maybe you should re-read it? "We do it and don't b*tch".

My bananas..
Everyone takes things so personally...
I guess now I know why some are still single..
*sigh*

It was just a poke for fun...
If you hated that much; why'd you keep reading it?

Oh nvm..
Won't waste my breath.
I'll just await the abrasive responses that I sure to fly.

..and we do number one faarrr more then number two..