ugh...sometimes i wonder if this life is worth living....I am only 20 years old, I have been to 9 funerals of people who are close to me this year. The most recent one being Friday Sept 18th.....She was not my real grandma but she was like a grandma to me...i met this woman 2 years ago through some friends....she was the type of woman that would give you the last nickle she had if it would help you in some way...she took me in when i had no where to go...she taught me a lot and I think I had a lot more to learn from her but suddenly she was gone. We knew she had cancer but when it got really bad it just took her...i mean it was only like 3 or 4 day warning and she was gone. On top of it all I found out my biological grandma has cancer as well....2 days prior to this other wonderful woman passing away. I havnt spoken to my dad and stepmom in over 6 months....their choice not mine. My mom is the only family i have here in fargo and she informed me 2 days ago that she is going to move back to her hometown to be with her mother during this time. I feel like my world has come crashing down on me in less then a week.....I dont know where to go from here. I dont know where to turn.....any advice would be greatly appreciated....I am too young to be going through all this.....I am not trying to have people feel sorry for me...but if i want advice i need to lay down what is on the table....

sorry to hear of your losses...we're never given more than we can bear...the hardest part of life is others passing...when i lose someone i try to remember the time i was blessed to have that person in my life...you have a whole world in front of you...what are your goals...what do you want to do??

good luck and god bless

All I can say is give yourself time, things will get better

Sorry about your losses. I'm an old guy and have gone through many funerals of loved ones; hard to take.
The older I get, the more I realize...Life doesn't get any easier, just easier to take. Hang on, you'll smile again.
Grampa Ted

Well im back in school now....just started back in august....i live in an apt alone...and i work full time....but i dont want to be in this town anymore...i dont have anything here...but i am too afraid to move somewhere to fail...i have failed once by moving to another town and i am afraid it will happen again....

Sorry to hear about your losses. It can be a tough time..I remember years ago when I had three aunts, an uncle and a grandmother pass away all within the same year..was pretty bad. Just be thankful it was only a three day warning and that she went quickly..as my relatives mostly passed away in a slow, drawn out process from cancer and treatment. Better to go out faster than suffer. It seems like now everything is crashing down..but you just have to be strong..and lift yourself back up because life always moves on..and when you can adapt..you can become stronger. Things always can get better with time.. just have to try to keep positive and they will come. If you keep looking with a negative viewpoint..then you won't let things get better looking that way, can't be afraid to take chances and move on. Plus you seem like a cute and fun person, will have no problems finding a room mate..could probably help you out with paying bills for the apartment and relax a bit..also someone there to talk to..that always helps.

it was a slown drawn out process.....she had lung cancer and did treatment 2 years ago...then told us she was in remission....the cancer came back..and she never told anyone because she did not want to go through treatment again...so she did suffer quite a bit....and without anyone knowing.....

How about completing the semester and then following your mother and finishing school near her?

Am sorry to hear that..I read she had cancer but sounded like 3 days after she was gone. Well..I have been through the same things..can always talk to me if you'd like..I don't mind it..just can't be afraid to talk to people for some comfort, or support. It can help and be the first step to feeling better.

i wish that was an option...but she is moving to a tiny town and the closest town with a college is an hour and 30min away....and im only 2 hours and 15 min...so what would be the point in that? Im ready to get out of north dakota....

You are way too young to even give that thought weight.
Grandmothers have lived full lives. You have not even begun yours yet. Life is MUCH onger than you think.
Never let that question cross your mind again, if it does, seek therapy or guidance, its not ok to think that way at age 20, fleeting thought = ok, serious thought = not ok.

it really was not a serious question....just makes you stop and think for a moment about why we are actually here....thats all....its not just my grandmother either...i have lost 9 people this year....just 3 weeks prior...my aunt and uncle we killed in a head on collison...they were on a motorcycle and a van hit them head on....i also lost a really close friend

I am so sorry to hear of your losses. you are so young to have to face all this.When things get to tough,just remember to take a deep breath.And look for good things in your life.
One thing is for sure,It will get better!Try to focus on your goals.That will keep your mind off some of the tuogh times.
I am hear if you ever need to talk!

Babygirl, I have been sitting on the back of harleys since 1974. One things people need to realize about motorcycles, is that you are literally putting your life in your hands when you ride one. Cars forgive, motorcycles dont.


Not to say your Uncle was at fault, but if you ride a bike FULL time, it greatly increases your chances of death that way.
I have had many fiends and my true love die on their bikes, seasoned lifetime Bikers, but they KNEW the odds that lifestyle brings.


I am concerned about so many new riders these days who dont really understand those odds.


Honey it just happens. When I was 21, my ol' man fixed the neighbors Harley , it had been sitting for years. The next day, he & his wife went to the nearest city- Daytona, and were hit by a drunk nurse who ran a red light. He died , and her brain was affected for life- not the same person at all. Two senconds later and it wouldnt have happened. I know it sucks.

Just know that you have the best of angels all watching you now, guarding you, and helping to guide you in the right choices you face.


Thats the way I have to look at it. Many times, good comes out of bad, and we cant see how what you have gone through will effect the future in our lives. The strength you obtain from this, may some day help someone else, who only You understand what they are going through.

Its not fair that you have loss at such a young age, but now you have the privilage of understanding what the big stuff is in life, and it will help you to have a perspective that your peers dont posess.

Expect to be sad a long time, it takes a person aprox 2000 hours of mourning time, so you have alot of pain and future healing coming.


Healing happens in fractions, its not noticable daily. Its like an arm you lost rebuilding cell by cell. Know that your feelings inside are normal for so many lost from your life.

And always remember- what doesnt kill you- a makes you stronger, and it WILL. You have my word on it. And theres few things as awsome, as a strong woman :)

And thats what your pain will make you, when you get through to the other end of this tunnel.I promise.

With love- A~