how can you love somebody if you dont have a common bond like friendship?

I would think that every love that is worthwhile starts with friendship.

I don't know of anyone who loves someone that they can't stand.

Nope.

'true'....'honest'....and the difference is?

Thats where I'm confused.... some people say that because you are friends with someone, they deserve the same as someone you love...

I say the one you love gets more than a friend. More than just the friendship thing, more than you feel, more thoughts in a day and more dedication.... but your friends deserve honest friendship.. and thats what I'm trying to get to here, the walls put up for friendship sometimes are thicker and harder to prove honesty than the lady or guy that you fall in love with... why are there walls at all? Why can't people take people for what they appear to be, until that person shows they are not.

walls are there to protect hearts that have been hurt before.plus i tell my best friends deep dark secrets and not any boyfriend at the time

Guess what I can say is this... Walls of any kind suck! I am open, though I have been slammed in my life, I do not put my hurt on anyone that wants a friendship, everyone is unique and I give each their own area in my heart... no exceptions.

yes you might not have walls but other people do

Not true of family, I love some family members that I can't freaking stand...

God knows I do!

well friends are gods why of apologizing for family

thats the problem with people... walls can hurt more than protect, walls keep people that are real honest loving capable at bay... those people may be the one that got away, so to speak.. One life on earth, why decide your happiness here on a past bad experience? I say.. everyone that talks to you, shows intrest or plain outright says they want to know you, should not be put in a basket because of somone that came before, or even if they said something that offended you... life is once. do it right!

OP, I think you're over-thinking this, if someone doesn't trust you enough to be their friend, just move on to someone else. It's not healthy to waste time and energy trying to figure people out. Most people have reservations about things, it's normal. I've rejected some people on here who claimed to only want friendship. Why? Because I either wasn't interested in being their friend or I thought they wanted more than I was willing to give them. Hopefully they found someone else who better fit their needs.

understandable but people dont like being hurt.so they put up a wall and anything you do no matter how small it is might remind them of the person that hurt them.if someone does care about the person with the wall around them they well take the time to break down that wall.

...date a nutcase. Just once.

...I smell a nice guy thread coming. Or impending doom. Neither smells good.

Does an unmedicated Bi Polar count as a nutcase?

Been there and done that.

sorry to pop your bubble in the longhair world, but I was honestly curious...

Orrr one could work on appearing more stable...

ok I will do just that... watch the fork and dork

No. Seriously. Both in freindships and relationships you have to be overcautious. I went on one casual dinner date with a nut who turned out to be a stalker and tried to burn my house down. A simple background check and I would have seen she had a history of such behavior. I put trust into a dangerous person. Hence the wall of cautious behavior.