Nice Guys

Far from it.

I HERE YA..BUT I AM THE HOPELESS ROMANTIC..I believe that it will work out for me it has to..and that he cant be as bad as everyone believes I know him. theres more going on then hes letting out hes hiding.And hates That I see right through it,I have a great 6th sense,thats what gets me hurt the most,I know but have now proof.and feel & see things with my minds eye..when I question?and get no response..this happens with everyone I meet not just my current love but friends,family,strangers,whoever,curses,or blessings,all depends on how you look at it.. and what you want to know..or confirm..but its only with people I met..stinks HUH..a 100 enotions that aren't my own..I just know that Love will find its way to me..And I will have the life I have so long dreamed of & wanted,I have seen it..just need to ba patient a little longer

HI OC MY HEART JUST SKIPPED A BEAT I FOUND YOU!! NICE TO SEE YA!!! MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!

bah, you've been nice to me. admit it, admit it

Not quite a carpet yet.

I'm nice, but I don't finish last either. I'm where I want to be, and this wasn't really started as a complaint about it. I'm happy, this was started in response to how a lot of people are always on about not finding the right person or a date...maybe it just isn't for you at this point in time.

It just works out that way for me, i'm not complaining

yeah probably. or they just have sucky taste

I can understand why folks get discouraged with dating when repeatedly their efforts are in vain, but I truly believe, while we may adapt to living single, we are not meant to live our lives alone.

Much if the disappointment, IMO at least with the on-line thing stems from folks just not being honest about themselves and what they are seeking. In my own experience, many men my age are lookin for just hook-ups, but their profiles give you no indication of that, or are lookin for younger women and still others see your age, and I as said in another thread recently, assume you have a feeble mind and fragile bones.

I guess I, too, am a hopeless romantic and I guess I'll keep hangin' in there until I kick, but I'm a little smarter about it and pick up sooner, rather than later, saving myself from investing a lot of time and effort and a little part of heart, before I find out someone is not being forthcoming with what they are truly seeking.

Lex and Fear, I don't believe for one second that either of you are unmatachable. If the strategies you've been using aren't working, take another approach.

I don't often read a whole thread before I respond, but this time I did.

Thank you for posting a thoughtful, and provocative subject Fear. It is a good vehicle to observe true thoughts of fellow minglers.

While I empathize and even agree with yours and others statement, and I'm paraphrasing here, perhaps its not "in the cards' for some of us. I know in my case, I had it once and sometimes feel, I ain't gonna win the lottery twice. Thanks Lex for drawing that analogy.

With that said, I am a FIRM believer in belief, faith and hope. And I agree that we as "mere mortals" are meant to be coupled. Therefore, I will not give up. However, I will recognize when the path on this lifes journey requires I walk it alone. usually it means, I gotta do some digging in the core, shovel off the sh#@, so i CAN be in a relationship.

In other words, our lives are full of "levels". Its simply where the "me" is at the time. Acceptance of that, and living in the day, makes it easier to deal with. Who knows what's down that path?

I think that's been the hardest part of this whole thing for me -- the idea that I've always believed, as you stated, that we're not meant to live our lives alone -- and yet it seems I was completely wrong about that.

I'm perfectly OK with being wrong, I've had lots of practice at it. It's just discouraging to see, though, that, no matter what I do, there simply is no one even remotely compatible out there.

That's my reality.



Hey, even eHarmony said I was unmatchable!!



The only thing that has EVER worked for me -- and it worked REALLY well back then -- was meeting people through friends. That's no longer an option. And I think I've tried just about every site out there -- !!

I really don't think there's anything left for me to do about that anymore....

And I think the real bottom line is I'm just tired of thinking about it. While I admit, there's something bizarre and macabre about spending the rest of my life alone, writing books, I just think it makes more sense than wasting a lot of time chasing something that doesn't even exist....?

I think it just being comfortable with who you are, which I am. I choose to have sex when I like, the rest is pretty difficult for me. I agree, some are more apt to date but I think it has to do with conditioning more than anything. My issue has always been, I just don't stay. Call it a fear of commitment, but I really can only tolerate the same person for a short amount of time. lol Funny, but true. I love sex, the kinkier the better, just go home, damnit!!!

being single and being alone are two totally different things. This is not that I have given up, it is just I prefer sex to a relationship. I am surrounded by friends all day long, I don't isolate, I just don't want to spend my life with one person, working on that. UGH! I have truly never met anyone who could change my mind on this. We are conditioned to believe in the "happily ever after" fairy tale. If that "one" person comes along that rock my world to change many years of thinking, I will meet that head on, until then...

Well EHarmony said I was unmatchable too. I think the only people they can match is 'cookie-cutter' people. Unique folks like us are too much of a challenge for them!

While I hope to find someone, it does not consume my thoughts. I know one thing, it surely won't happen if I just give up.

My question is this, why are there so many of us on dating sites? I mean, how did we all meet before dating sites? I remember when posting on a dating site or posting a personal ad was sort of the fall-back position, now it's the main stream.

You're preachin to the choir here. I've said many times there is a difference between being single and being alone. Our differences here are that you prefer just booty call and I want to invest my heart, my life, in someone.

I really didn't feel so bad about being "unmatchable" to them, once I saw some of the people on their TV commercials. Scary stuff going on over there!



Well, when I was involved in music, things were much easier, because everyone I knew was single, and they all had trillions of single friends.

Move forward 10 years, and that's no longer the case. Everybody is married or the statistical equivalent thereof. Same with all of THEIR friends.

There was a time I thought dating sites would be a perfect solution, because they offered access to so many people I could never have known about otherwise.

Two things I hadn't figured:

1.) While it's true that dating sites allow access to many many more people, the reality of it is that those people are all too far away to do anything about it.

2.) The homogeneity of most of the clienteles on various sites is so pervasive that, if you're looking for anything outside the mainstream, you're just plain out of luck.

2.) The homogeneity of most of the clienteles on various sites is so pervasive that, if you're looking for anything outside the mainstream, you're just plain out of luck.

That just struck a chord of truth

You're preachin to the choir here. I've said many times there is a difference between being single and being alone. Our differences here are that you prefer just booty call and I want to invest my heart, my life, in someone.


I wonder why you would call a "booty" call JUST a booty call? That is enough for me. I invest my heart and life, but not in ONE person, but in many. I have many friends, I donate my time as a volunteer, and they are all in my heart and life. I would never assume to call your choice "JUST" anything. I have a full life, but because I choose sex over a relationship doesn't mean it is "wrong" or should be dismissed as something less than another's choice.

1. I don't think it's the distance so much as that is a handy excuse for not making the effort. There are folks making this happen.

2. You've been in the forums, right??!! This is quite a diverse group of people. But...I do know what you're saying. I don't know.....maybe a move to Mars should be your next move!

I wonder why you would call a "booty" call JUST a booty call? That is enough for me. I invest my heart and life, but not in ONE person, but in many. I have many friends, I donate my time as a volunteer, and they are all in my heart and life. I would never assume to call your choice "JUST" anything. I have a full life, but because I choose sex over a relationship doesn't mean it is "wrong" or should be dismissed as something less than another's choice.


"Just" is my way of viewing it. Not saying it's wrong...just saying it's wrong for me.