Grand Parents have all passed, all of her family here in Michigan.
I speak when spoken to, and would call them if it was a necessity.
My girls are 18 and 16. They know who and where cousins and family are.

I feel no obligation towards them whatsoever! I consider them friends and if our paths crossed, I would treat them as such. My son is an adult now and he sees them. I would never resent that. The only thing I hold against them is that when I was married to their daughter, they took her side which is usually the case, a parent usually sides with their own child. They failed to see that she was the one who wronged me. But that is water over the dam now.

NONE, if children are not involved,
If kids are involved, then you should treat matters of mixings, parties,etc with a on-going knowledge of who might be affected by THEIR presents and why?
Then be diplomatic on all and with your invitations, and DON'T MISS AROUND HERE,,,,your kids might be hurt through not seeing a grandparent,,,and the LAW states that Grandparents have RIGHTS to seeing and having their grand-kids...
If he won't,,,let them,,,,YOU can make him,,or shall I say YOUR parents can make him, by law....NOW I am NOT SURE if the law of your state governs Grandparents Rights act.?? You would have to check..
I hope this helps and I wish you luck....

I will say my in-laws have always treated me well.

It's a ripple effect, if the parent don't care about the inlaws (family to your kids) how are the kids suppose to be interested.

My ex & I didn't have any children together, so there was no "obligation"...I chose to stay in touch with my Mom-in-law...even after my ex died of a cocaine overdose. A couple of years ago, I moved to another state & kind of lost track of my old phone/address book which is still packed away...& I haven't really looked hard for it. I loved her very much...but her calls were always very grim & depressing...I guess that's my excuse for not trying harder to remain in contact...

True, very true. Someone has to be the bigger person. That is why I posed this question. I know in my heart I have some sort of obligation to my children, just not necessarily to them in regards to myself. They let me down during one of the hardest times of my life.....I just need to get past that and facilitate some kind of contact for the kids sake.

I think if you feel guiltly then u should do something about that guilt, maybe set aside at regular intervals, maybe every three months to take the kids to see them..if they are willing as you say they are.

Thank you silly......I think the guilt is my inner conscience saying "you know you aren't doing the right thing".

All dead

haven't seen them in 14 yrs, wouldnt know where to begin with them.
i have moved on with my life...

I don't think you have an obligation to anyone but your children. While you may think that it is only their responsibility to make arrangements to see the kids. And it very well may be since they are adults not children. It is your children that will pay the price of not knowing their other relatives. You may not think it is any loss especially if their were hard feelings involved with the divorce/seperation. But your kids will eventually notice and feel the loss. Make the effort for their sakes not for your ex relatives sake.

to all of you for your honest replies.

I was extremely close to my mother in-law. When we got divorced, she decided to take my side. It's been over 2 years now, I am still in constant contact with someone from that family, unfortunately, my ex has very little contact with any of them. He tried to forbid their communications with me, and they all took my side saying that no one will tell them who they can and can not talk to.

In fact, the other day I ran into her and without thinking, I introduced her to my friend as my mother in-law instead of my ex-mother in-law... I guess she will always hold that special place in my heart!

As a spouse, or Ex, you can't teach a parent how to parent or a Grandparent how to Grandparent.

As for your obligation I would send the Grandparents a polite note to the effect that you "would like the children to honor all the family that they are part of" enclose some photos and if the kids want to enclose a letter or picture fine.

It might take a few efforts because they may see it as just trying to punish them or their son for the divorce.

Grandparents that want a relationship will respond.

Many times they have grieved the loss and do not want to back track and take the risk of being forgotten again.

My experience with this type of charitable concern is it only causes more pain for children who may not complain about the abscence of grandparents but already are aware of it.

none what so ever.

It is his responsibility to make sure his kids see his family and yours to make sure they see your family. If your not careful, you will do all of the work and planning that go into this and he will sit back and have no responsibility to it at all.