so you dont know why but yet you just cant stop doing it.so either keep on getting walked on and complain or change the places where you meet the guys and stop complaing

or she could poke them with a big stick til they change to "nice guys"

You fall cause the wrong guys trip you, but if you look up you will see the hand of the right guy helping you up.

i think u r right about most of the things you said. I do feel like i can fix people many times. Needless to say, without success :( and still i keep doing it. And yes, i ve actually thought about this a lot. When i meet someone at first, i really do create this image, this idea about them in my head, and i think this illusion is what i actually fall for. Then i get disappointed because in reality they are different than my idea. I think i fall in love with the idea about a person rather than the man himself.
Thank you


You have identified some of your problems, but you don't know how to fix them. Go see a therapist. When I went through my divorce, I went to see a good one, initially to help me see things coming during the divorce proceedings, that I otherwise would not have seen coming.

But afterwards, to make sure I didn't make some common huge mistakes that I saw so many other divorced people make: ending up with a similar mate, or one that was such a complete opposite, that it was unhealthy. Basically, he helped me identify good, healthy qualities to look for after the initial physical attraction, and more importantly, identify the bad stuff that is often glossed over when you're "in love."

I haven't found "the one" yet, but I have met a lot of great women and weeding out the attractive "traps" has become second nature.

I don't know. Mine is the opposite. I go for the guys I KNOW I can get because they're "below" my "level". But they're no good, either.

Good luck finding out and when ya know, let me know, OK?

And you supposed to go for the guy who just feels right, not having the feel of being above or below, whatever that supposed to mean.

Below your level as in Intelligence? No Good as in??

It may come back to nip you in the butt...Im just saying that is all.

They might be wrong, confuse us or lie to us but in the end we choose them so it's all our fault nobody else.

I am older too
life should be a laugh and a half

I KNOW THE ANSWER for your question NOW...

You FALL, because all the dudes you pick,,HAVE BIG,BIG FEET..
And YOU TRIP OVER THEM,,,,,,,THATS IT!!!!!!!

Maybe you need to change your criteria for selecting men.

i.e. stop being desperate!

Ok, first i am not desperate.
Second i cant just start feeling something for a guy just because he is nice and likes me. I need this emotion, this excitement the butterfly feeling in my stomach :) u all know what i am talking about.

I still believe in my heart that sooner or later the right guy will come along, and he will be everything i ve ever wanted. I believe in love,yes i do.

good luck with that.

Also, bad communication skills can hinder this process. Imean I am sure there are some guys out there that don't like talking to women who are like brick walls.


Opinions?? Anyone??

i dont think i am like a 'brick wall'. if anything, i think i get too close too fast

the same goes for women who don't want to talk to pushy, ignorant men.