Someone actually used the "N" word to me today!

There is a guy I have been talking to online for a few weeks now. He seemed like a nice guy and made such a big deal out of being a Christian who attends church every Sunday, and all the ways he volunteers his time and his dedication to his family, etc. I was thinking he was a pretty nice guy.

So today we were talking on the phone, and somehow his last girlfriend came up, and I asked him why they broke up. He told me that it was because she had dated a black guy before him. He said that when he told her he was completely against white women dating black men, she got upset with him. And so I was like, "I have to be missing something here" and I tried to get him to clarify. I asked him "You're saying you ENDED a relationship with this woman because she has dated black guys in the past?" and he said no, he didn't end it because of that, he was just very vocal about his disapproval of her dating black men and SHE did not like the way he was acting about it and would not let it go.

So I asked him what it was that he had a problem with. And he said that black people are in a completely different class than white people because of the cultural differences. He said that 90% of them are doing drugs and committing crimes and getting pregnant as teenagers. I told him to be careful about making such broad, sweeping generalizations and that I have had completely different experiences than him. I know many AMAZING people of all races, and that he should base his opinions of people on an individual basis rather than on any particular group as a whole. Then he told me that one of his best friends is a gay black man with aids. He said he's a really nice man. But THEN he went on to say, "But I tell you what...he completely changes when he gets around other black people. When two black men get together that's when they start to act like NI*%&RS."

I could NOT believe he said that! How completely ignorant! I was horrified and very offended. I guess I naiively thought that people just don't talk that way anymore. Needless to say, I will not be speaking to that fellow again.

yea she told me about him

uh...its used quit frequently...your just not around everytime its used...which is a good thing

wow

yep....people still think and talk that way. prejudices about many different things won't go away. I don't like it when anyone uses that word or makes cruel jokes of any kind. They are entitled to their beliefs...just as I'm entitled to let people know how I feel and not associate with them

I grew up with parents that used the term not infrequently.
Ashamed to say I have used it in the past.
My kids have never heard me use that term.

At least you found out early.

Haha sounds like my Ex.... He pulled that crap with me..I hated it... He kept on saying that he thought it was grosse that I had been with a "N" and everything... He made me cry because a lot of my friends are black... Still to this day I get nauseus when I hear such ignorance.

You're right. I have not heard that word used in probably 15 or 20 years. Maybe I've led a sheltered life, I dunno.

What a jerk!!
people are people, no matter their color...whatever happened to " Everyone was created equal?"

i here alot of things from every race about other races..i'm in construction and when i'm walking a job site..i hear everything about all races and women they did or treated them like ****..thats just the way it is

in other words its a reality forum

Awwwww ((Toots))))

Sorry that had to happen, but better you know now I'm with you, that would be a complete dealbreaker for me. While I agree with the live and let live etc I have a low tolerance for ignorance.

Now you can move on to better

My mom's side of my family is kinda like this, they often complain about the blacks in the neighborhood and the number of them. It's so bad that my cousin told me that my since deceased uncle and her dad had said that if she married a black man, he wouldn't be at the wedding. How ridiculous is that!

I admit sometimes in the past if I saw someone was black I may not have wanted to date them, though I can't say I've ever been racist intentionally. In fact, my last girlfriend I had actually was black, so I've been trying to change how I may have viewed a person in the past. I can't stand this sort of thing, just because some people of a particular race may do bad things, be it blacks or any other race, it does not mean every single person in that race is bad, or make it ok to stereotype them. I wonder how they'd feel if they were stereotyped themselves as whites you know?

I'm from Boston, it's a part of our vocabulary

Last year I was seeing somebody that I thought was nice. Yeah, I met him online. We're friends now. We were talking on the phone recently and he told me that he's a Democrat but he voted for McCain because he didn't want a black President. He really said a "N" President. I was shocked! I was so glad that I wasn't in a relationship with him!!

There's only one race....the human race.

WOW! I don't blame you!





Exactly!

Watch out for those self-professed "good Christians"--I think they might be atoning for something in their past! lol

But seriously, that is a disgusting word and an even more disgusting belief system. What gives anyone the right to believe they are better than anyone else?

He talked about going out again. No way!

It does amaze you the things that come out of peoples mouths sometimes eh? I hear the N word around my area sometimes too. Usually it's when a group of old men are talking.

I also cannot stand it the way people use short bus etc. jokes all the time (it's rampant on mingle). To me, it's just as bad, but has somehow become acceptable.