I have heard that word used a lot.

Finally one day our discussion led to what I really am- a bohonk. The brothers asked what a bohonk is. I explained I'm from southern german and french and english descent. Great great grandparents from what used to be bohemia. Then I said "Basically a bohonk is the N word without all the bling. But we are all not that different really. We got hip hop. Its called 'POLKA'". I had the brothers in tears.

Okay I have to ask this first of all you quit talking to someone cause they used the N word that in fact had quit dating a girl due to she had dated someone black in the past. This same guy has a friend that is not only black but gay as well.

Is that correct so far?

Now the only reason you quit seeing him is because he used the N word is that correct?


I must say that I myself do not use the N word and my kids were raised the same way. But..............I live in Texas I actually met a guy several years ago that I became involved with that did use the N word he was from Alabama. Let me tell you the way he used it was due to he was totally raised different then I was. Even though we were the same age to him those he called by the N word was not always black they were those that were lazy and thought that the world owed them and many times they were white when he called them the N word.

Yeah I did take the time to explain to him the way I took the N word. What happen is he had enough respect to understand the way I felt about the N word and did understand my feelings about that word.

All I can is he stopped seeing someone because she dated a black man and you quit seeing someone because he used the N word where does it stop. When no one is willing to give another a chance for something they did or said?

Just a thought of mine.

you do realize that the klan claims to be a christian group and they use the N word all the time. people can claim to be religious and be really far from it. IMO


. . .

I am IN SHOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If there's anything I can do for you in your time of crisis PLEASE let me know!

I have heard that word used a lot. My oldest son's best friend in highschool was a black boy. And he used the word a lot untill I asked him not to in my presence. Respectfully he told me why he uses that word and also agreed to my wishes.

Having said that, I agree that as a group of intellegent people we humans as a whole have become very unforgiving of others mistakes. ( I am not talking of murder or robbery here ) Yes, I am talking about the spelling police, profile police, word police and so on. And we do it rather rudely at times under the guise of a joke. What ever happened to the addage of " Do un to others as you would do un to yourself."? And just treat folks that make a mistake with a certain degree of decorum and manners and help them learn from such mistakes. And not berate them in public.

Um, no...not only because he used the "N" word, but because he is that racist that he would cause a fight that led to a break up with someone merely because she had dated a black man in the past. And when he was talking about it, he was angry. Just telling in telling me all the reasons he thought black people were inferior, he was getting riled and raising his voice. And it wasn't like I was provoking him, I was just listening.

You're acting like yeah, he said the "N" word, he made a mistake, can't you forgive him? Of course, if it slipped out and he didn't mean it, sure I could forgive him. But it's not about making a mistake, it's about his belief system. That's completely different.




. . .

Well I was only trying to understand as far as the way your first post indicated the situation was and gave my opinion based on the information you actually gave to begin with.

As far as his ex dating a black man well there are still a lot that don't believe in dating outside of their race and that is not only whites that believe that but every color. And they will not date someone that in fact has. But even with believing that way I don't always consider them a raciest. My Dad would have never dated a black woman but he had a best friend that was black man which would not have ever dated a white women but they accepted each other and their beliefs.

All I'm saying is people are all raised different just as you will find some that will not have gay friends or believe in two gays should have the right to be married which you will find a lot of Christians have those feelings as well. But they will accept them within the work force or in life they just do not agree with their lifestyle.

So unless we all try to understand another no matter how hard we try within this world we will always have raciest to and extent.

I can understand not wanting to be around another for their temper and being to the point that they let there anger over take them and they could end up be a very violent person. Was just saying that I could not understand not speaking to one due to they used the N word. But seems there was a lot more behind your reasons then just that. At times when only part of story is revealed then that is what others base their opinion on as well.

Therefore I was not downing you for your choice just trying to understand the reasons behind it as well as pointing out what I seen from my point of view.

By others bashing him for his opinion does that not make those no better then he is in the long run? If we don't take the time to understand and try to change others then raciest will always exist.JMO

to be honest... big deal? i hear white people use that word all the time, just as much as i hear black people using white slurs. frankly, i could care less if i get called anything like that, so i dont understand why everyone else has to act like theyve just been verbally raped or something.

Well, you could say that about ANYTHING verbal though, couldn't you? We all have our likes and dislikes about things. What might bother one person might not bother another. Is there anything someone could say to you that would offend you?

Someone actually used the "N" word to me today!

There is a guy I have been talking to online for a few weeks now. He seemed like a nice guy and made such a big deal out of being a Christian who attends church every Sunday, and all the ways he volunteers his time and his dedication to his family, etc. I was thinking he was a pretty nice guy.

So today we were talking on the phone, and somehow his last girlfriend came up, and I asked him why they broke up. He told me that it was because she had dated a black guy before him. He said that when he told her he was completely against white women dating black men, she got upset with him. And so I was like, "I have to be missing something here" and I tried to get him to clarify. I asked him "You're saying you ENDED a relationship with this woman because she has dated black guys in the past?" and he said no, he didn't end it because of that, he was just very vocal about his disapproval of her dating black men and SHE did not like the way he was acting about it and would not let it go.

So I asked him what it was that he had a problem with. And he said that black people are in a completely different class than white people because of the cultural differences. He said that 90% of them are doing drugs and committing crimes and getting pregnant as teenagers. I told him to be careful about making such broad, sweeping generalizations and that I have had completely different experiences than him. I know many AMAZING people of all races, and that he should base his opinions of people on an individual basis rather than on any particular group as a whole. Then he told me that one of his best friends is a gay black man with aids. He said he's a really nice man. But THEN he went on to say, "But I tell you what...he completely changes when he gets around other black people. When two black men get together that's when they start to act like NI*%&RS."

I could NOT believe he said that! How completely ignorant! I was horrified and very offended. I guess I naiively thought that people just don't talk that way anymore. Needless to say, I will not be speaking to that fellow again.

I agree with most of your post. I did not give all the info in my OP. You and I both agree that a person can choose not to date outside their race that's perfectly fine, it's a matter of preference. I myself have not dated outside mine (not saying I never would, but I just haven't). That was not my point. I would not become angry with someone else who DOES though, that's what I am saying.

Maybe I am hasty in deciding not to speak to him. I haven't said anything to him one way or another. I am just VERY disappointed in him and I have lost interest in dating him. Opposites attract, but I think you have to have SOME fundamental commonalities. It doesn't mean that I can't discuss it with him and be his friend.

Someone actually used the "N" word to me today!

There is a guy I have been talking to online for a few weeks now. He seemed like a nice guy and made such a big deal out of being a Christian who attends church every Sunday, and all the ways he volunteers his time and his dedication to his family, etc. I was thinking he was a pretty nice guy.

So today we were talking on the phone, and somehow his last girlfriend came up, and I asked him why they broke up. He told me that it was because she had dated a black guy before him. He said that when he told her he was completely against white women dating black men, she got upset with him. And so I was like, "I have to be missing something here" and I tried to get him to clarify. I asked him "You're saying you ENDED a relationship with this woman because she has dated black guys in the past?" and he said no, he didn't end it because of that, he was just very vocal about his disapproval of her dating black men and SHE did not like the way he was acting about it and would not let it go.

So I asked him what it was that he had a problem with. And he said that black people are in a completely different class than white people because of the cultural differences. He said that 90% of them are doing drugs and committing crimes and getting pregnant as teenagers. I told him to be careful about making such broad, sweeping generalizations and that I have had completely different experiences than him. I know many AMAZING people of all races, and that he should base his opinions of people on an individual basis rather than on any particular group as a whole. Then he told me that one of his best friends is a gay black man with aids. He said he's a really nice man. But THEN he went on to say, "But I tell you what...he completely changes when he gets around other black people. When two black men get together that's when they start to act like NI*%&RS."

I could NOT believe he said that! How completely ignorant! I was horrified and very offended. I guess I naiively thought that people just don't talk that way anymore. Needless to say, I will not be speaking to that fellow again.

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