Topic: do you know anyone who's hopelessly stuck? | |
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i bumped into a guy i knew from kindergarten through 12th grade. we run into each other every now and then at a concert, sporting event, etc. and he always wants to hang out and "catch up". the problem is that for him that means rehashing pointless crap that happened back then. he talks about breakups from 1994...who the hell cares? i didn't even care back then. and remember the time billy spilled his chocolate milk on the pricipal? hahaha. no...and i don't care.
i still have a few friends from way back. we scattered during college and our lives all changed significantly. some are much closer than they were and i drifted apart from others. but in all cases we grew and if we're still friends it's because of who we ARE, not who we WERE and we don't even talk about the past. that guy didn't grow and can't seem to grasp the idea that the rest of us have. it's pretty sad. he's the same guy he was at 16, just fatter...even the same job. |
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I stopped speaking to all of my old friends for that very reason. When you change and they don't, there's not much left to hold a friendship together.
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Let the guy remember good times...sometimes that is all we have to keep us going.
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Let the guy remember good times...sometimes that is all we have to keep us going. i agree me and my brother still talk about the things us and our friends did in school and we wonder where all those friends went it still brings us laughs though |
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Proper lubrication will fix all stuck problems
WD40 never leave home with out it!!! |
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Let the guy remember good times...sometimes that is all we have to keep us going. remembering the past is fine, particularly events that shaped us. however, he has taken it to an unhealthy level. he tries to recreate that world or wallow in it whenever possible and he's not moving forward in life. look at it this way; if a 12 year-old still sucked his thumb and wore a diaper he'd probably need psychological help. a 30 year old man living and acting like a teenage boy and always hanging out with people that age is no better. puer aeternus (peter pan syndrome). |
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Let the guy remember good times...sometimes that is all we have to keep us going. remembering the past is fine, particularly events that shaped us. however, he has taken it to an unhealthy level. he tries to recreate that world or wallow in it whenever possible and he's not moving forward in life. look at it this way; if a 12 year-old still sucked his thumb and wore a diaper he'd probably need psychological help. a 30 year old man living and acting like a teenage boy and always hanging out with people that age is no better. puer aeternus (peter pan syndrome). |
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yeah, they never get out of their comfort zone and have to adapt.
leaving town for college helps too. experiencing a new city and new people on your own is fun and gives you perspective. easy transition for me but i was surprised to see how many people got homesick. |
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That reminds me of that episode of Friends, where Monica is thrilled that the guy she had a crush on in high school asked her out. On the date, she finds out he is exactly the same as he was in high school...still lives at home, still works at the movie theater, stil rides the same motorcycle, still uses the same teeny-bopper expressions. It's funny!
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So at my 20 yr HS reunion, my best old weed smokin' buddy comes up to me and says, "Dude, I am high...... can ya tell?"
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Edited by
krupa
on
Sun 07/05/09 05:14 AM
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So at my 20 yr HS reunion, my best old weed smokin' buddy comes up to me and says, "Dude, I am high...... can ya tell?" Ha! They all expected me to have the weed and I didn't even smoke in high school! Ironically, at my reunion, everyone else but me had aged (heavily), got short, balding, wrinkly and "plush"....I felt like I was the one stuck in the past..... Yet, they were all reliving HS memories....I rarely even hung out with any of them...all I had to talk about was life after school. |
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So at my 20 yr HS reunion, my best old weed smokin' buddy comes up to me and says, "Dude, I am high...... can ya tell?" Ha! They all expected me to have the weed and I didn't even smoke in high school! Ironically, at my reunion, everyone else but me had aged (heavily), got short, balding, wrinkly and "plush"....I felt like I was the one stuck in the past..... SOMEone's in love with himself! |
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SOMEone's in love with himself! I am pretty fly for a white guy....hehehehehehehehe Actually, the heavy aging thing comes with the marriage/divorce/ kids thing.... As we were sitting at the Faily picnic and everyone had thier 2.5 hellions running around...I said "Glad I ain't gotta take any of these bast@rds home with me"..everyone in earshot was like "I envy you", "TAKE MINE", "No wonder you look so happy"........... |
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About 10yrs ago, I went through a "nostalgia period"...looked up some of my old friends...while I spent my life traveling & seeing new sights...they married their High School sweethearts...squeezed out the obligatory pups...& were just in general, stuck & miserable. Not saying that everyone who chooses to stay near home experiences that...but quite a few friends envied my freedom... We ended up having nothing in common anymore... Glad it was just a "phone thing"...I don't think I could've stood hours at a Reunion & that sort of "nostalgia"...
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SOMEone's in love with himself! I am pretty fly for a white guy....hehehehehehehehe Actually, the heavy aging thing comes with the marriage/divorce/ kids thing.... As we were sitting at the Faily picnic and everyone had thier 2.5 hellions running around...I said "Glad I ain't gotta take any of these bast@rds home with me"..everyone in earshot was like "I envy you", "TAKE MINE", "No wonder you look so happy"........... |
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I'm one of those who is occasionally set on 'stuck'. Somehow its difficult to let the past go.
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I'm one of those who is occasionally set on 'stuck'. Somehow its difficult to let the past go. it's the past for a reason, you can't move to the future until you let it go. |
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I'm one of those who is occasionally set on 'stuck'. Somehow its difficult to let the past go. It is indeed...I'm moving on, but some days it's more by osmosis than anything else. Most days it's for a purpose. Reach high! |
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That reminds me of that episode of Friends, where Monica is thrilled that the guy she had a crush on in high school asked her out. On the date, she finds out he is exactly the same as he was in high school...still lives at home, still works at the movie theater, stil rides the same motorcycle, still uses the same teeny-bopper expressions. It's funny! how sad is it to be referencing a show from the 90s? stop living in the past. just kidding. i love some old tv too. highlander and sliders just to name a few. half of seinfeld's problems could have been solved by the internet or a cell phone in minutes. in the past having a cell phone gave you near god-like powers, like zack morris.... http://www.hulu.com/watch/76560/late-night-with-jimmy-fallon-saved-by-the-bell-reunion-update-3 |
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That reminds me of that episode of Friends, where Monica is thrilled that the guy she had a crush on in high school asked her out. On the date, she finds out he is exactly the same as he was in high school...still lives at home, still works at the movie theater, stil rides the same motorcycle, still uses the same teeny-bopper expressions. It's funny! how sad is it to be referencing a show from the 90s? stop living in the past. just kidding. i love some old tv too. highlander and sliders just to name a few. half of seinfeld's problems could have been solved by the internet or a cell phone in minutes. in the past having a cell phone gave you near god-like powers, like zack morris.... http://www.hulu.com/watch/76560/late-night-with-jimmy-fallon-saved-by-the-bell-reunion-update-3 Whatever...1/2 hour of reminiscing is okay from time to time, right? |
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