So here I am. Ive been married going on 19 years. I have three kids and pretty much am ready to throw it all out the window. Only one problem. If I leave my kids in her hands I am not doing them any good and if I take them from her I am doing a worse evil. She is not mean or crazy, she is just not in love with me. She doesn't like to hold my hand or sit next to me when we watch TV. If I try to be near her she does not pull away, she just sits there. Frankly I think she is indifferent to me. Now I have decided pretty much that divorce is out of the question so. We are separated now that she has taken the kids to Germany for the summer but when she comes back in August i don't want to be with her anymore. anyone have any Ideas?

If you've decided you don't want to be with her anymore... why is divorce not an option?

If you're separated and divorce is not an option, I'd say you have it under control...

Just curious, why isn't 50/50 custody a thought? You said take them or leave them.. Most people work it out in the best interests of the child(ren).... just sayin'

I suppose its an option. Just a really crappy one. i don't want to leave my kids. As fro 50/50. I suppose that is what I would have to do. Unfortunately I am the only one who works so I don't think I would ever get to see my kids. I've been thinking about building a "mother in law" shack in the back yard and moving into it. OR maybe parking an RV out there. The biggest problem is she hasn't worked in 12 years and i don't think she could support herself with out me around paying the bills and I can not support two households. I sound kind of whiny don't I. LOL

Not whiney, just not sure of the options.. Have you asked her if she loves you?

If asked...She says she does... she just doesn't offer it. I once got sent to Alabama with the military for 9 months and she didn't call me once for the first three months. I had to call her. Then I found out she did not even know my cell number. I can tell you this. She doesn't know my work number now. They were in Germany on fathers day and I didn't get a call. I am pretty sure she just wants me around because its safe for her.. I take good care of my family... I'm just wondering if my family will ever take care of me. My biggest fear is if I leave her then I will lose any chance I have to be close to my kids.

1) she can't take away your being close to your kids...
2) have you asked her why she does those things specifically? And why she doesn't show affection?
3) if you don't believe her, have you/why don't you call BULLSH*T?
4) she will HAVE to get a job if you leave and you will have to pay child support and possibly alimony...
5) you're making excuses for why you can't leave but you're not demanding it get better
6) if she really doesn't love you and you do build a "mom-in-law" house in the back, she will have another man at some point.. How will you feel about that?
7) is she from the US originally?

how close you will be with your kids is up to you... not her.

well I guess I perplexed him...