"Oh yes! " cried the Lame Dame with the same Name...."I want to see my sister....it's been too long and I have a message for her!"

Muffy was feeling a bit bow legged after riding The Big Dick, her knees wobbled when she got off...

The two ***** bumped heads and layed down to grind out a plan to avenge their fallen brother.

Bro. Ken Hymen arrived at the plane to find ...

...they both were DEAD! (from bumping heads of course)
So...Ken was all alone so 'off he went on down the road' until he met up with.....?

Muffy went down on the D1cks, attempting to blow the life back into them...


Bro. Ken Hymen cautiously stepped into the plane, expecting the worse, he almost laughed when he saw ...

Tryng to revive the two *****...Muffy had her hands and mouth busy for what seemed hours...She was sore from riding the Big Dick all the way and now...this..the clumbsy oalfs! She risked a glance in the direction of Hymen and saw him enter the plane.

Finally when the two brothers had been brought back from the shady side..she arose to the sound of screams coming from the plane.
Kicking the two brothers in their butts she said." Come on ..get up and quit playing dead....there is something not to my liking in that plane! Maybe you two can advenge the death of your brother Private Dick."

When Bro. Ken Hymen realised what he saw wasn't a reward but his worst nightmare in the form of his greatest pleasure. His laughter quickly turned to screams.

It looked like a cute little girl even with Ken's blood dripping off her face. It laughed hysterically at Ken's screams in between chewing off pieces of Hymen.

Muffy's bionic eyes and ears allowed her to witness this scene from 12 blocks away, tech can be so amazing.

When Muffy and the two d1cks arrived at the plane all that remained of Bro. Ken Hymen was a blood stain mottled with specks of flesh.

Muffy had seen this girl and what she had done to Hymen. Running ahead of the twoD!cks,she headed for the plane. Lady Betts was to be on that plane and she mst find her!

The two D!cks seeing Muffy run ahead sensed something amiss. Quickly donning their battle gear,they started after her.

As they drew closer, they could smell the blood, and they saw a small woman or girl walking away.
Thinking she was no cause for alarm, they continued to the plane.

It shambled along still looking like a little girl covered in blood. It like its new master, he always gave it fun and tasty jobs. It headed for her home in the sewers below LAnd's End to sleep and await her Master's call.

HAwkeye saw what had happened to Bro. Ken Hymen through the cctv on the plane. He quite loved this beast, so devoted, so ruthless. Perhaps he should just send it after Muffy, or maybe he should take care of her himself.

The LAme DAme With The Same Name broke through his musings, she sounded quite hysterical.

"HAWKEYE, I'm so worried about my sister, I feel something bad has happened can we go find her?" she practically screamed. She was also beginning to suspect Hawkeye wasn't really what he portrayed to be.

---

The two D1cks looked glorious in their French BAttle Helmets, the scent of blood pumped them up. Eager for battle they followed the scent of blood, which led to a sewer hole going deep below the streets of Land's End.

At the sewer opening Muffy stopped. The two D!cks were already climbing down. Were they going to their deaths also?
She tried to see what was beneith the surface, but something was abstructing her vision.
In the distance she heard a scream. Turning, she focused on it. It had sounded like Betts!
Quickly she started to run towards the scream.Then another one sounded, and another, and another! Screaming was all around her! She was surrounded by it and just as suddenly...it was deathly quite. Quickly she drew her sword.

AND from out of the dark mist laden midnight air emerged a dark and shadowy figure... moving slowly towards the warrior maiden with her dew coated steel blade glistening in the moonlight... As the the foreboding mass lurched closer, she could faintly see two outstretched arms and a ghastly pair of gnarled hands covered with the blood of her unfortunate accomplices... falling to cobblestone streets like a broken necklace of fine Peshawar rubies... and shimmering eerily in the pale glow of the broken stoplight as they splashed upon the cold wet street... until the droplets were totally consumed by the approaching darkness...

{{{{Welcome back laughingdog! We missed you!}}}}


Watching mesmerized as the two D!cks fell to the ground, shredded beyound recognition, all Muffy could see were the two hands that were reaching for her. Then in one last flare of light before darkness decended, she caught a glimpse of the creatures eyes. A shudder went through her as she thought she knew who this creature was. Surely it wasn't.....

{{{{{I missa youse guys, too}}}}}

..... Count Vladimir Czeznevikovinowski aka Vlad The Imploder... A slightly mutated and highly misunderstood clone of the late great Ottoman Turk super spy and world famous jet setting athletic support model, Clydius I. Attatuk aka Clyde the Camel aka Jock McBollockson aka Itchy Ticklebritches aka Lilly Sinclair... Yes, Clyde the Camel met his untimely, yet much deserved, death during a failed attempt to crash a dirigible of Slovenian design and crammed full with crates of rotten ginkgo fruit and boxes of contaminated paperback novel waste from Chernobyl into the royal palace of the Prince of Liechtenstein and throwing the feeble government of this tiny, yet strategically located, European principality into a total state of anarchistic despair... AND thusly, paving the way for an all out coup d'etat upon the entire global democratic process...

Unfortunately for Clyde, a crate of stinky ginkgo fruit became dislodged from an overhead storage unit during the zeppelin's descent and fatally struck him on his right temple and causing the complete loss of control of the large sausage-shaped balloon... AND instead of striking it's intended target, it wobbled over the border and into the neutral air space of eastern Switzerland where it eventually came down and crashed head on into a speeding tour bus loaded down with members of the American band, 'Molly Hatchet', on their way to their first Romanian gig... No one survived the horrible accident...

During the investigation of the crash, a corrupt Swiss aviation official with Moldavian ties found what appeared to be Clyde's nicotine stained eyebrow while sifting through the smoldering wreckage. Lab tests confirmed that the smoky little strip of skin and fur did in fact belong to Clyde, and it was swiftly rushed off to a top secret government cryogenics lab in an undisclosed location high in the Swiss Alps where it later disappeared. Clyde's eyebrow surfaced a year later in Moldavia where it was confiscated from a young street urchin caught trying to trade it with an blind Australian tourist for a couple of nudie magazines printed in Braille...

Moldavian government officials recognized the importance of such a find and turned it over to their top team of genetic scientists. Six months later, an entire brigade of 'Clydes-men' had been cloned from brow tissue; however, during a fierce electrical storm, a bolt of lightening struck the lab's tin roof and caused a powerful surge of electricity to coarse it's way through the complex network of circuits running within the genetics facility and blowing up the microwave in the lab where the clones were kept. The brow sample and all the clones were destroyed... except for one single little copy ... A tiny little Clydes-man with bulging red eyes, sharp carnivore-like teeth, tangled curly hair, gnarled hands, and large warty feet...
The scientists lovingly dubbed this unsightly little creature, Vladimir, because of his uncanny resemblance to the famous Czech cartoon character of the same name from the Saturday morning kids show, Vladimir and Nikolai'... the former eastern block equivalent to the U.S. animated characters, Ren and Stimpy...

A Ukrainian char woman, looking for her dentures, discovered Vladimir hiding underneath a collapsed lab table and traded him for a couple of grams of low grade bathtub hashish offered to her by a disgruntled Moldavian fire marshal who wore an eye patch. The fire marshal took the gnarly handed little clone home and decided to make him serve as his very own personal valet; however, when his wife saw the huge bulbous warts on Vladimir's feet, she threw a fit and threatened to get a divorce and leave the one-eyed fire marshal ruble-less if he didn't get rid of the funny lookin' little genetic copy immediately. The couple took him to the local mall and abandoned him in the borscht court on the second level, near the JC Penney...

Poor little Vladimir had a rough go of it at first... He wondered about the barren Moldavian countryside, surviving on discarded potato peels soaked in vodka that he collected in bottles thrown out along the expressways, and he slept wherever he could... under overpasses, in abandoned Russian battle tanks, and on gigantic piles of swan dung. Fortunately for Vladimir, Madonna and her glittery entourage of dancers passed through Moldavia on their way to a one night performance in Moscow, and she bought the very pile of swan poopies that Vladimir had been calling home...

The sultry songstress had been told by her good friend, Naomi Campbell, that Moldavian swan feces, when mixed in the right concentration, would prolong the stage life of her mascara. Madonna, being a good business woman as well as a fantastic stage performer, realized that swan dung just might be the ticket that would take her to the top of 'the heap' in the stage make-up industry, soooo she purchased Vladimir's home/pile AND he was scooped up, along with his temporary avian fecal mattress, and loaded on a steamer bound for London town WHERE...

Wanna say that again?

Ahhhh Lady Betts... I would if I could but I can't 'cause me head hurts and I gots seven pups to release for their evening plunder session...

Can't ya's helps me out?

no wayyyyyyyyy you deserted me and plotted my death for that evil Muffy.
Now you must suffer the consequences of your unthinkable actions.

Oh fiddle dee dee Betts... Tomorrow is another day... AND I'm a survivor of the Clone Wars of '06... If you could only imagine what my tired eyes have seen... Incredible super novas lighting up the darkest realms of the Ronjon Galaxy... Graceful flocks of giant mothra making their way through fiery asteroid belts on their migration flights to Alpha Centauri... The purple lava pits of Diggerdanburra... AND that three-headed ZXyterbaGeruuN exotic dancer at TrickY Kaao who does the multi-pingo paddo with her juunanardde... Yes Lady B, I've travelled all eight universi... even across the void of luLamaye... AND I've seen it all... YET I still remain the shell of the man I used to be... I will survive!

Beware of the crystal serpent from Yantamphooee...

P.S. Hey! Got any spare change that I can borrow? I need some plasmafuel for my cometbike and a six-er...

Vladimir


Muffy, stared at the sight before her....her night vision enhanced now and she was able to clearly see the little creature.. His eyes were what had her attention...flashes of a tall, muscular, dark eyed man kept assulting her senses. Clyde, her lover of old..why why was she seeing him? This short ugly creature was nothing like Clyde! And he stunk!! By the Gods he smelt like swan poop! Blood still dripped from his hands as he crawled over the torn remains of the two D!cks, coming at her with a club held high, a whinning gurgle emanted from his gapping mouth and yellow jagged teeth gleamed, his tounge lolling from the corner of his mouth.
Gripping her sword tighter she braced herself to battle the ugly thing. The sooner she killed him, the sooner she could find Betts.