Darn! Forgot to add that she MUST be allergic to goats!

Hey, I'm flattered that you took the time to remember all this stuff!

Okay, I read 90% of it. While you are being selective (I like that word too) I like to think there's hope for you. I see it like this. And I'm going to try and explain as best as I can. Bare with me.

You were put on earth as the person you are. If there's one person already like yourself (and I'm referring to you as a whole in this sentence) than there has to be at least one other person out there that is like you or at least similar. Confused. let me use another example.

If there is someone who is afraid of water, than I believe there has to be at least one other person who also has the same fear. Really, it doesn't make sense that there would just be one person in the entire world that is afraid of water.

Follow me yet? If not, I don't know what else to tell you. That's the best explanation I can get with actual words in a complete sentence. My way of thinking can be complicated to get into actual words.

hey I luv brown sugar-cinnamon pop tarts

im going to build you a sexy robot that speaks as aristotle writes. hope you like strings of clause-chains.

and she will come with a garden hose attachment for all those hard-to-reach places...

This is a common misconception.

Back in 1942, FDR, who liked being called by his three intitials, and who liked to establish agencies with 3 initials, started one called the MDA (Mechanical Dating Authority), the term "computer" not having yet been invented by Al Gore.

A sort of embryonic "internet" was set up back then, but it consisted entirely of one dating site, and only people with special telephones (green) could sign up for it, modems not having yet been invented by Al Gore.

As time passed, and Al Gore started inventing things, the MDA was expanded, and things like MySpace and eGoatsOnLine came into being.

The one dating site, by this time, had over 60 billion members (accurate records are unavailable) and eventually allowed users to post pictures and incredible lame profiles.

The government doesn't want people to know about this because it inevitably leads to questions about why it wasn't used to prevent Viet Nam or that TV show with Justine Bateman in it.

You're an interesting, but complicated person. Anything interesting or complicated always sticks in people's minds. I bet anyone that's been here for at least a month could quote what you'd like to find.

I did read your profile.......40% though. Now let me take a guess on what you are looking for......

You are looking for someone who is.....
1. Intelligent
2. Doesn't have kids.
3. Doesn't drink.

I have met one person who fits the description extremely well.

Unfortunately, she seems to see me as a "safety net" -- the person who helps her out whenever her life falls apart. I'm actually pretty good at that sort of thing, and it's not that I mind doing it -- it's just that I've been through 10 years of this back-and-forth "I love you, I need you, no, wait a minute, you fixed it, so I don't love you or need you anymore" stuff with her.

So while she and I have something approaching total compatibility insofar as intellect, creativity, lifestyle, beliefs, etc., are concerned, there's this ongoing problem with her inability to make a decision and stick to it....as well as her expectation that I will always be there for her, no matter how many times I get burned.

And there's the problem -- she's the only one who's ever been compatible in so many ways that really matter. But in this "say what you mean, mean what you say" part, she falls way short.

Lex, I'm assuming it's safe to say that you have talked to her about all this. Do you have any reason as to why she is doing what she is doing? Or have you just come to the conclusion that she is simply a complete user of yourself and never will change?

Maybe if you stopped being there for her, she would realize what she really wants and come to her senses? But I'm assuming that perhaps you have already tried that too.

Hey Lex, i quit. This all seems like sarcasm in its hi-tech form....and am not good at this form of detectivity.

A pleasure meeting you at the forums.

Three matches huh?

i'm actually surprised it's that high

Cutting through all the treacle, that's pretty much it.

I'll be damned if I can find anyone like that, though, who doesn't live 897,000 miles away from me.

No offense intended! I sort of specialize in sarcasm and hyperbole -- "literary devices," or that's how I justify it to myself, anyway!

For me, it's all about "Fun With The Written Word" -- which says a lot about that state of what passes for my life right now....!

Hear the flock of birds?

That's all the women within 897,00 miles of you (replying with a hand gesture).
(I don't know of anyone who considers themselves unintelligent)

I'm just incapable of any sort of objectivity here. We've talked about it, she denies the whole "using" thing, although there really is no other feasible explanation, and it keeps happening, and is as predictable as wherever it is that the sun comes up.

This last time -- Nov. 07 - Aug. 08 -- she kept telling me she had finally figured it all out, that I was the one she needed (and she hates to "need" anything) -- but she was trying to get out of a bad marriage, a bad environment, a bad everything, really, and she needed someone to help pull her out. I've been pulling her out of one thing or another since 1999, so it's a totally natural thing for me by now.

Once I had accomplished the "rescue," she basically said "Thanks and goodbye" and I haven't actually seen her since then.

We do stay in touch though (she helps with my books; she does the covers and all the page formatting, etc.), and there are indicators that her life is getting rough again. So....



I have tried that, and it really doesn't work, because she knows me too well. I've never been the type to just abandon someone I ever cared about -- it's probably the hardest thing for me to do, and even moreso in this case, because the good times are SO good --

In my weaker moments, I wonder what it would be like to feel this way for someone who actually cared enough to reciprocate....but I really don't see that happening.

Peace bro. I liked your profile. I mean the way you have "fun with the written word." The reverse order of the diary of events. Pretty revolutionary if i may say.

As far as i'm concerned, i love to "pun" with the written word. Guess we share some interest here.

Take care Lex and hey, my best wishes to you in your explorations. (No puns intended though).

True, but if I've learned one thing from reading 3,889,328,922 dating site profiles, it's that self-assessments are generally less then useless.

How many times have I seen this? -- "I'm the most unique person you'll ever meet. I'm laid back and easy going, like to go out or stay in, and I love my friends and family." Yeah, THAT'S a good reflection of uniqueness!

Perceptions of intelligence can be somewhat subjective, too. In a venue like this one, I have to go by what's written in the forums, profiles, etc. And most of what I've read hasn't really meshed well with my idea of what constitutes "intelligence" within a written format!

Lex,
I'm going to be honest here for a moment. As hard as it is, I think you need to let her go and stop helping her completely. She seems to rely on the fact that you never in a million years would abandon her for anything. Perhaps if you did, you might throw her completely off guard and force her to think a whole lot more.

I'm not trying to persuade you to do anything you don't want to do, but in some ways I can also relate to other people's experiences.

She takes you for granted and knows that your weakness is her. Prove her wrong .. even if you have to put on a facade ...

Figure out her weakness.

It's harder than it sounds, though.

Part of me recognizes that I really need to move on and focus on other things, other people. I signed up here, originally, with that in mind.

But what I've discovered is that the compatibility thing is a huge barrier. I mean, here's one person who is compatible in almost every way, and then there's a whole site (dozens of sites, really, if I want to be accurate) full of people with zero compatibility.

I've always said that I'd rather be alone than be with the wrong person. And then it drifts into something not entirely unlike a "matter of degree" -- so she's "less wrong" (?) than everybody else, so....

I don't know. The wishful-thinking side thinks "One day she will realize that this back-and-forth is senseless and she will want to make this thing work."

Which could happen. But do I want to wait until I'm 90?

The practical side acknowledges that the pattern has been established and is probably never going to change. Then it becomes a question of "Is it better to enjoy the sporadic good times when she needs help and actually has an incentive to be with me, or is it better for me to be alone?"

I really can't answer that. Neither solution appeals to me.