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| Topic: Things You Learn When You Live With Children | |
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1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.ft . house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 room. 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few a times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late. 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies. 10. Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy 11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12. Super glue is forever. 13. No matter how much Jelly you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jelly. 15. VCR’s do not eject sandwiches. 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odour is. 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. 20. The fire department has a 5-minute response time. 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22. It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24. Raw eggs and semi-digested cheese stick to walls and ceilings very well. 25. 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. |
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I had a waterbed when I was a kid... I don't remember how big our house was but I remember the water was everywhere. As to the Clorox and brake fluid, never heard of that one... but Diet Coke and Mentos is fun! Great list, thanks Guy |
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Happy to help. LMAO
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I was already thinking about the clorox and brake fluid 
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I love it LMAO
thanks for the LOL |
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Edited by
Imbroglio
on
Fri 06/05/09 04:56 AM
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You forgot.... Sharing is a wonderful thing to learn but a VCR is not a portal that allows you to share your grilled cheese sandwich with the person on TV.(no matter how convincing the child is) If it's small and looks like an M&M it will, in fact, get a taste test if found. Small children can, and will, make an escape through and unlocked doggie door. Cell phones will not completely flush down the toilet but do work for a surprising amount of time after ward. There is no such thing as "child proof" and kitchen drawers can be pulled out to form a staircase to reach those cookies they weren't supposed to have. 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.ft . house 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 room. 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few a times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late. 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies. 10. Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy 11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12. Super glue is forever. 13. No matter how much Jelly you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jelly. 15. VCR’s do not eject sandwiches. 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odour is. 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. 20. The fire department has a 5-minute response time. 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22. It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24. Raw eggs and semi-digested cheese stick to walls and ceilings very well. 25. 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. |
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LMAO...Thoes are great!!!Thank you for sharing
On the pool subject, cordless phones do not survive when a 3 year old son throws one in to see if it floats like a boat. lmao |
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Edited by
Imbroglio
on
Fri 06/05/09 05:12 AM
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oh and when feeding ducks they must share with their "brothers and sisters" or a child will chase after them in the water to retreive the bread meant for that specific duck.
And a kite will lift a 2 year old off the ground if not watch closely. Hands put in pockets is a dead give away when asking a child if the did something. Hawaiian punch will stain virtually anything |
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Number 8 is a useful tip when wanting to avoid the IRS when on the run.
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Oh the Hawiian punch, try the Zep Carpet Cleaner, it will take out just about anything!!!! Its GOOD stuff! Home Depo has it. I learned that one when I had motocycle grease on my carpet. lol
oh and when feeding ducks they must share with their "brothers and sisters" or a child will chase after them in the water to retreive the bread meant for that specific duck. And a kite will lift a 2 year old off the ground if not watch closely. Hands put in pockets is a dead give away when asking a child if the did something. Hawaiian punch will stain virtually anything |
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ok so how do I get the melted crayons out of the toaster Linda lol
Oh the Hawiian punch, try the Zep Carpet Cleaner, it will take out just about anything!!!! Its GOOD stuff! Home Depo has it. I learned that one when I had motocycle grease on my carpet. lol oh and when feeding ducks they must share with their "brothers and sisters" or a child will chase after them in the water to retreive the bread meant for that specific duck. And a kite will lift a 2 year old off the ground if not watch closely. Hands put in pockets is a dead give away when asking a child if the did something. Hawaiian punch will stain virtually anything |
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Unplug toaster and throw said toaster away. lmao...no way!! been there done that too. Same thing with a Microwave when its just been pushed on to start and it blows up. Its trash!! Unplug and throw away! lol
ok so how do I get the melted crayons out of the toaster Linda lol Oh the Hawiian punch, try the Zep Carpet Cleaner, it will take out just about anything!!!! Its GOOD stuff! Home Depo has it. I learned that one when I had motocycle grease on my carpet. lol oh and when feeding ducks they must share with their "brothers and sisters" or a child will chase after them in the water to retreive the bread meant for that specific duck. And a kite will lift a 2 year old off the ground if not watch closely. Hands put in pockets is a dead give away when asking a child if the did something. Hawaiian punch will stain virtually anything |
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 Unplug toaster and throw said toaster away. lmao...no way!! been there done that too. Same thing with a Microwave when its just been pushed on to start and it blows up. Its trash!! Unplug and throw away! lol ok so how do I get the melted crayons out of the toaster Linda lol Oh the Hawiian punch, try the Zep Carpet Cleaner, it will take out just about anything!!!! Its GOOD stuff! Home Depo has it. I learned that one when I had motocycle grease on my carpet. lol oh and when feeding ducks they must share with their "brothers and sisters" or a child will chase after them in the water to retreive the bread meant for that specific duck. And a kite will lift a 2 year old off the ground if not watch closely. Hands put in pockets is a dead give away when asking a child if the did something. Hawaiian punch will stain virtually anything |
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