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| Topic: Friends before a relationship | |
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Dude... You're doing it wrong. Most women won't admit to what I'm about to tell you... When a woman meets a guy, she will have decided (consciously OR subconsciously) within the first 1 or 2 minutes if she is going to sleep with him or not... So even though she won't come out and say it, she will be the one making that decision, whether you two will be just friends or more than friends. I agree, yes, every woman knows as soon as she sees a guy if she would sleep with him or not. Exception to your statement is that we decide if we WANT to sleep with him -- Not going to. Crap, our secret is out!! LOL |
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I have no problem with your plan but I do have a question. These women you are trying to befriend, do you try to sleep with them? If a man wants to be my "friend", then that is ALL he will be! I agree! It's a great plan but it has been my experience when meeting/dating men who are looking for "friends first", they spend most of the date trying to get me in the sack. Thus the flaw in the theory. Exactly! |
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Yes you are crazy
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imho: at first attraction time, first meeting, intitial getting to know someone you definately do not want to be pegged as a "friend", "nice guy", "brother" type... make your intentions clear... BUT - in order for a long term relationship to be sustainable, friendship must be a component... so "friends first" - before LTR or marriage, yes. During the initial meet? NOPE...
sounds a bit contradictory, but isn't the whole thing? 
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I must add that I am in an exclusive relationship with a man who was "only looking for friends" and at our first meeting,,,, he changed his mind.
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That's exactly how I am approaching it too, instead of the "dating" mentality. It is a very slow process that way, and both people have to be really patient with developing the friendship. What happens to me sometimes is the person is swept off their feet by someone else before I have a chance to get to know them as a friend. :(
oh well, I just figure it's fate, and when the right person comes along, that won't happen :) |
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Why yes you are crazy for trying it that way. If you do not show interest outside of friendship soon, then that is what you become a friend. Remember, they all say they want a nice guy too!
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I actually agree with PART of Mahan's post. Women do sum up in the first 1 or 2 minutes what category a guy will be in. For many, not all, it's very hard once you place someone in the friend zone, to then remove them from there later, especially if a lot of time has passed. The longer you stay friends, the harder it would be to unring that bell.
I say be friends first, but let it progress right on into something more by showing interest. Good Luck |
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Am I crazy? I have been in more than a few relationships and all of them I "tried to find a girlfriend." This recent break up I was with my ex for 3 years. And now I just want to meet somebody, become friends with them - meet somebody else - become friends with them - become friends with their friends and their friends and their friends and meet somebody else and their friends and then one day say to myself, "Ya know, I really like that person." Am I crazy for trying it that way? What do you think? nope im down for that because i feel the same way... dont just settle network and play your options... some girls are just ment to be friends... some girls you connect with instantly and it could be your girlfriends besfriend |
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WOW
I posted this before I went to bed last night - just on a whim - never thought I'd get so many responses and such good advice.... Well heres some replies to all of the questions... Believe it or not I am not "one of those guys"...I know thats going to get a bunch of replies...but I'm not. I like people, I like talking, I like finding out who people are - what they like - what they dont like - what they want in life - why the sky is blue - all of that stuff...I mean look at the profile.....but anyways...jumping in the sack in my opinion would just blow away the whole concept of "friends first and then relationship" So my answer to those questions are -- no -- no sex But then again...flirting around? Yes...I'm not saying I want to be the guy who is there for those female friends and talk about all of the hot guys and help them with relationship problems either. Ya know what I mean? But then again, I'm not saying I want ALL OF MY friends who are female to be single...either. Its just like...ya just never know. More or less..what I'm saying is that I do not want my next girlfriend to be preplanned Ya see what I mean? |
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Any confusion on the matter is likely caused by living in Knoxville!!
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Any confusion on the matter is likely caused by living in Knoxville!!
Or by living in Knoxville and getting advice from ppl in Alabama |
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Dude... You're doing it wrong. Most women won't admit to what I'm about to tell you... When a woman meets a guy, she will have decided (consciously OR subconsciously) within the first 1 or 2 minutes if she is going to sleep with him or not... So even though she won't come out and say it, she will be the one making that decision, whether you two will be just friends or more than friends. So you might as well try your luck with whichever girl you meet that you might find attractive. Stop with the friends bullcrap... Every girl i meet is a potential f**k buddy until I strike out miserably and then and only then I may consider them as a potential friend. It's a game of numbers, keep striking out till you hit a home run. ...and you call yourself a mingler. FOR SHAME!  
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 friends first my policy
I agree 100%
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I think that is a good idea. I have rush into my relationships in the past and now I am doing everything I can to take it slow(become friends first). Becoming friends first is better, because that is how you get to know each other.
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Dude... You're doing it wrong. Most women won't admit to what I'm about to tell you... When a woman meets a guy, she will have decided (consciously OR subconsciously) within the first 1 or 2 minutes if she is going to sleep with him or not... So even though she won't come out and say it, she will be the one making that decision, whether you two will be just friends or more than friends. So you might as well try your luck with whichever girl you meet that you might find attractive. Stop with the friends bullcrap... Every girl i meet is a potential f**k buddy until I strike out miserably and then and only then I may consider them as a potential friend. It's a game of numbers, keep striking out till you hit a home run. ...and you call yourself a mingler. FOR SHAME! hey now...i was conscious and it was 2.5 minutes for me...so now...who's wrong?!? ah ha...admit it!!  
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I admit it Bastet, I was wrong.
I am ashamed... One question remains... WHAT'S THE FREQUENCY, KENNETH? |
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I admit it Bastet, I was wrong. I am ashamed... One question remains... WHAT'S THE FREQUENCY, KENNETH? sleep well!!
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I admit it Bastet, I was wrong. I am ashamed... One question remains... WHAT'S THE FREQUENCY, KENNETH? sleep well!!
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If you cant be friends with the one you are with.....then what is the attraction???
Years ago.....I went to marriage councelling with my son's dad. We were having problems. The counsellor asked what attracted us to each other. My first thought, was his looks. We were attracted by each others "looks"....so what else was there??? Were we friends? No. Our only attraction to each other was our looks. That relationship failed because we werent friends as well as lovers. I would hate to see what it would have looked like as we got older and our looks were gone. |
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