I need some advise . I have a fried who has one child that lives with
her that is 11 . Less than a year ago she ended a 7year relationship in
which she lived with the man . Now she has been dating a man for a few
weeks and is moving in with him into a very small home and leaving her
own nicer home . I have tried to explain to her that I dont see the
sense in it . I also dont understand why she is feeling the need to move
in with someone again when she should have learned her lesson the last
time . When the relationship ended she asked me to hold her to a promise
to not date another man for atleast a year ?
When she asks my opinion and I do not give apporval she becomes angry
with me and trys to argue . I think deep down she knows this is a wrong
choice and she is thinking with something other than her brain right now
.
I do not know what to do should I support my friend , try to prevent her
from doing this , or just walk away from the situation and let her make
her own mistakes ????

Just be there for her and her child, be a friend. She may have to make
this mistake, unfortunately there is nothing you can do to stop her;and
if you push to hard you may lose her friendship.

I think you have to let her make her own mistake. She made you promise
something that is impossible (to control her actions). She has made it
clear she cannot even control herself, and she has poor judgement. Where
is the father of this 11 year old? I would not let her drag an 11 year
old around from man to man. It's clear her priority is having a
boyfriend, not her kid. That's so sad. I couldn't be friends with
someone like that. Where are her values? I would try to help her, but I
wouldn't want her to confide in me and use me to try to get permission
for doing things she knows are wrong.

You know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and
over and expecting different results.
You can talk til your blue in the face but your friend is not going to
change her mind. She is probably feeling like she just has to have a
man in her life to make it worth while. For some of us that lesson is a
hard one to learn. The thing that worries me is the effect that this is
going to have on her child. Maybe if you remind her of her
responsibilty to raise him in a safe and stable enviroment it will help
her to decide to stay where she is.

Her daughters father died when she was 2 .

Geeze I just realized how many typos are in that original post . How
embaressing , please disregard them .

SHE HAS TO MAKE HER OWN MISTAKES IF YOUR HER HER FRIEND U HAVE TO BE
THERE FOR HER, YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE OR DONT BE
THEIR FRIEND, I FOUND IT TAKES TWO YEARS TO REALLY KNOW SOMEONE, MY
GRANDMOTHER USED TO SAY, LOVE IS BLIND AND MARRIGE IS AN EYE
OPENER...............

(Just for the record, that is not the "clinical" definition of
insanity.)

Having said that, she's asked for your opinion, and you gave it. She's a
grown woman, let her do what she's gonna do and if she later regrets it,
that's something she'll have to deal with.

People are going to do what they are going to do till they learn for
them selves tell her good luck and wish her well.....

i have found that the more resistance i offer as a friend even if the
advice is requested, it distracts and offers a way for the friend to
avoid the real issue.

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* `•.¸.•sHoWiN' sOmE LoVe.¸.•´*
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