The whole system is jacked up! My sons dad did not pay me child support for close to a year or help with daycare cost so we ended up in court..the judge reduced his visitation percentage to 15 % and court ordered him to pay an extra $50 a month to pay of the back pay amount for a period of 2 years.

Things were god for a while and he actually became current and consistent only to return to la la land and stop paying again. Since August I haven't received child support or $ fr daycare and he is woring so Yeah I dont get it. There is always an excuse or reason about his personal life which of course has nothing to do with our son. It sucks. And the only recourse is to send a certified letter by mail stating what is owed and to give 30 days to pay otherwise I can take him to court which will cost me $300 to file the case and then wait a month to be seen by a judge who will only order a backpay payment plan again. And forget about wage assignments. Ive filled 2 out before and magically everytime I do he has gotten laid off or will quit his job. And apparently the courts can not do anything about it. Teh funny ting is I hear stories about how the state can help single parents with deadbeat mom/dads but I think thats only if your on welfare or receive state aid. If you a hard working parent they dont give a fvck or wanna help u.

So really what can i do? Prohibit him from seeing my son? Yeah right hat just hurts my son. No matter my personal opinion of his dad or our issues doesnt change fact my son loves his dad. So basically I suck it up and do what I gotta do to provide for my son.

Stressing over it is just too much of a headache and waste of energy and just complete negativity. Already did the court thing twice in past 5 years and have no desire to do again. The system sucks a$$

Your getting ripped, time for a lawyer

I've been raising my 7y.o. girl alone since she was 1 and 1/2 y.o. In that time her mother as ordered by the court pays $12.69 a week in child support. One time taking her back to court to raise the amount she kept getting it laid over with her court appointed lawyer, and after 5 times going to court with no results I gave up. Losing to much time from work. Yes she pays support, but how far do you think $12.69 a week or $55.00 a month goes. Argue all you want but the state of north carolina at least favors women with the children than men with their kids. Her mother has not been back around since I told her and her boyfriend and my daughter cannot sleep in the same bed when her mother got her on the weekends. It might be alright in some countries but not here. Her boyfriend didn't like it and I have not seen them in over a year. No big deal since she only saw my daughter for about a year out of 5 years. Point is though as with everything else the system is screwed up and better if you can live without it than live with it. I don't care personally anymore about it. I just try to make a good life for me and my daughter.

THe system sucks, period. It need to be changed....Hopefully I can be a part of it.

my ex only pays 200 a month for three kids and he keeps quiting his job so he doesn't have to pay that,he told me i moved so he doesn't have to pay since he doesn't see the kids anymore ,i took them to see him for Christmas and he has not called them since and only spend about 2 out of the five days with them while they were there if anyone thinks 200 a month pays for three kids there crazy i have private insurance on them he pays nothing on it either..so its not fair in mississippi either ..period child support sucks across the nation....

Seems like you could get a court order forceing the grandparent to produce the child for visitations and maintain a constant address so that you could find employment that would accomodate visitation.

If a non custodial mother is on public assistance and non-supporting then she may be required to be fully disabled or in a treatment or training program which you do not know about.

I don't see how the state, (which is taxpayers like me) who did not require you to create this child should have to pay you child support unless you are living below the income requirements; then you could collect.

Lucky for you being the breadwinner instead of pregnant/an full time parent usually comes with a paycheck or at least unemployment instead of welfare as and unemployment perk. Try putting labor and delivery down as a job skill. Or paying for a babysitter with no money because you need a job.

To the original question; I think both parents have a responsibility to contribute so that their child has a standard of living equal to their own and to a level that the child's basic needs for food, shelter, public education, and healthcare are met even if it impoverishes them.

Since it is not a child's fault that parents decide that the other is no longer tolerable to live with and that living seperate is a luxery they can not afford doesn't justify them not having their needs met.

If you have the misfortune to get stuck with a deadbeat as a co-parent you just have to bite the bullet and do the best you can.

The reality is it is going to be a harsh existence for most custodial parents or the non-custodial parents that do do the right thing. That pretty much means that you have no life of your own and the only treasure of your life is your child.

Sadly ultimately the child, usually in their teens and twenties, will probably fault the most responsible parent for not having the forsight to see it and control the less responsible parent but hopefully they eventually learn the reality of relationships and that none of us have a crystal ball that tells us what the future will hold.

My personal standard has been to do the best that I could do and expect that the character I model for my children will help them be the best that they can be. The one thing is when they are adults they are on there own if you do it right. If you concentrate on their education, character, and social skills and don't worry so much about them likeing you they will do alright. You just have to be there even when you really don't feel like it; such as the end of the work day when you are exhausted or when you desperately need someone of your own. (Little hint is most people will leave when they have to play second fiddle to your child so faceing the reality early that it is probably going to be a solo act and learning to deal with it is your best shot of copeing.)

I get 199 a month, nothing more. He has never met my daughter, has no real plans too. He only pays cause then he has reasions he can only serve weekends. He's payed a year out of two and a hafe and guessing as soon as serving weekends and probation is over so will paying child support.

figured I'd give the kid's perspective on things since I went through this when my parents split up.they divorced when I was 10,dad was court ordered to pay 463.33 a month,he had to keep me insured and when he wasnt able to keep health insurance on me he was 100% responsible for all my medical bills.needless to say,he didnt do either consistantly until I was 14,and being asthmatic with no health insurance could've been very dangerous for me had my mom's family not stepped in and paid for my meds a few times.when I hit 14 my aunt gave my mom the info she needed to get his child support payments automatically withdrawn from his paychecks,and made him pay them out of his own pocket when he didnt have a job.I calculated it after I hit 18,he owes over 6,000 dollars in back child support and medical bills.I dont know if this applies to the other states,but in Texas when a child turns 18 they can file a claim with the Attorney General for the non-custodial parent to pay them the money owed.Also,if you marry someone that owes back child support in Texas,you can kiss your income tax goodbye til it's current.My mom didnt get any of her refunds back til I was probably 7 or 8 thanks to the back support my dad owed on my 2 older brothers.