Topic: Why is it ?
Savitar's photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:08 PM
WHy is it people think people are gonna change , just cause they started dating that person . The guy who drinks to much today , is gonna drink to much tomorrow , the girl who cheated on her last four boyfriends , more than likely aint gonna stay faithful to you .So shy do people pout themselves through that kinda hardship , is it just so they can say " but you dont know him/her like i do "> i mean if the pool is empty , dont they know they are gonna get hurt if they dive on in anyways ?

grneyedldy1967's photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:11 PM
Edited by grneyedldy1967 on Wed 04/29/09 06:12 PM
For the most part I do think you are right. Now some people do learn from past mistakes in relationships. I married my last husband knowing he cheated on his last wife because I am trusting and thought he deserved another chance. Did he change? NO.. he did the same thing to me. So again.. yeah for the most part you are right about what you say.

no photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:11 PM
Control issues...

no photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:13 PM
I have no clue. I see it in both genders as well.
One extreme or the other.
They either keep taking the same roads,
or they will keep their distance and never let anyone close.

It is strange to see how people react differently in the same situation.




Meg8771's photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:18 PM
Maybe the person suffers from what I call the "Florence Nightengale Syndrome". They take on people with issues, thinking that they are going to solve the other persons problems, almost heal them, and then either stay with them or send them back into the world and make it a better place...


Just my humble opinion flowerforyou

shellymc's photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:21 PM
i think most people want to see the good in people and think they can change whats wrong and make it all better not the case you can only change yourself .......

Totage's photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:22 PM

WHy is it people think people are gonna change , just cause they started dating that person . The guy who drinks to much today , is gonna drink to much tomorrow , the girl who cheated on her last four boyfriends , more than likely aint gonna stay faithful to you .So shy do people pout themselves through that kinda hardship , is it just so they can say " but you dont know him/her like i do "> i mean if the pool is empty , dont they know they are gonna get hurt if they dive on in anyways ?


I've learned that 99.99% of people will never change.

Phuque2's photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:25 PM
People can change if their actions are doing damage to the relationship, "but" only if they think the change is worth saving that relationship. I drank too much, so I stopped and remain that way after more than 25 years. It is not my job to try to change someone from doing anything they don't want to stop doing. It "is" my job to bring that issue to their attention if it is distructive to "our" relationship.

no photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:33 PM
But there is flaws in this theory.. what about the person who has several marriages under their belt. maybe they aren't at fault for those failures....but we keep trying....

elwoodsully's photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:41 PM
Pretty much true. A person USUALLY will not change for someone else, but can change for themself.

I had an affair when I was married to my first wife. I was 22, and hundreds of miles away from her for weeks at a time. Was it right? HELL NO. Did I learn that it hurt her, and us? Yes.

Will I/have I ever repeated that action. NO. Age has made me wiser.

Meg8771's photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:42 PM

Pretty much true. A person USUALLY will not change for someone else, but can change for themself.

I had an affair when I was married to my first wife. I was 22, and hundreds of miles away from her for weeks at a time. Was it right? HELL NO. Did I learn that it hurt her, and us? Yes.

Will I/have I ever repeated that action. NO. Age has made me wiser.



flowerforyou

Meg8771's photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:43 PM

But there is flaws in this theory.. what about the person who has several marriages under their belt. maybe they aren't at fault for those failures....but we keep trying....



I resemble this remark flowerforyou

no photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:53 PM


But there is flaws in this theory.. what about the person who has several marriages under their belt. maybe they aren't at fault for those failures....but we keep trying....



I resemble this remark flowerforyou
well so do I! but I didn't get a lolipop for trying all those times now did I?

Meg8771's photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:55 PM



But there is flaws in this theory.. what about the person who has several marriages under their belt. maybe they aren't at fault for those failures....but we keep trying....



I resemble this remark flowerforyou
well so do I! but I didn't get a lolipop for trying all those times now did I?



No, Ducky - never got that lollipop did you...they are one in a million and you have to search very hard to find it.flowerforyou

no photo
Wed 04/29/09 07:00 PM




But there is flaws in this theory.. what about the person who has several marriages under their belt. maybe they aren't at fault for those failures....but we keep trying....



I resemble this remark flowerforyou
well so do I! but I didn't get a lolipop for trying all those times now did I?



No, Ducky - never got that lollipop did you...they are one in a million and you have to search very hard to find it.flowerforyou
yeah and all different shapes , sizes, flavors....but there is only 1 real lolipop.

Meg8771's photo
Wed 04/29/09 07:23 PM





But there is flaws in this theory.. what about the person who has several marriages under their belt. maybe they aren't at fault for those failures....but we keep trying....



I resemble this remark flowerforyou
well so do I! but I didn't get a lolipop for trying all those times now did I?



No, Ducky - never got that lollipop did you...they are one in a million and you have to search very hard to find it.flowerforyou
yeah and all different shapes , sizes, flavors....but there is only 1 real lolipop.



Yes, indeed.

SouthDeb's photo
Wed 04/29/09 07:26 PM
Coz we're suckers