AQUARIUS Jan 20 - Feb 18

You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a
great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and
impractical, causing you to make mistakes over and over again. People
think you are stupid.

PISCES Feb 19 Mar 20

You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by
the CIA or FBI. you have a minor influence over your associates and
people resent you from flaunting it at your peers. you lack confidence
and are generally a coward. Pisces people do horrible things to little
animals.

ARIES Mar 21 Apr 19

You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick
tempered, impatient and scornful of advice. You are not nice.

TAURUS Apr 20 - May 20

You are practical and persistent. you have a dogged determination and
work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You
are a communist.

GEMINI May 21 - June 20

You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People love you because you are
bi-sexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little.
This means you are cheap.
Geminis are known for committing incest.

CANCER June 21 - July 22

You are sympathetic and understanding to other people and their
problems. they think you are a sucker. You are always putting things
off. That is why you'll never amount to anything. Most welfare
recipients are Cancer people.

LEO July 23 - AUG 22

You consider yourself to be a born leader. Others think you are pushy.
Most Leo people are bullies. you are vain and dislike honest criticism.
Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are known thieves.

VIRGO AUG 23 - SEPT 22

You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your nit-picking is
sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and sometimes
you fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers.

LIBRA SEPT 23 - OCT 22

You are artistic and have a difficult time with reality. If you are a
man, you are more than likely gay. Chances for employment along this
line and monetary gains are excellent.
All Libras die of venereal disease.

SCORPIO OCT 23 - NOV 21

You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the
pinnacles of success because you totally lack ethics.
Most Scorpio people are murdered.

SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 - DEC 21

You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendancy to
rely on luck, since you lack talent. The majority of Sagittarians are
drunks and dope fiends. People laugh at you a great deal.

CAPRICORN DEC 22 - JAN 19

You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You don't do anything
and are lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance.
Capricorns should avoid standing too long, as they tend to take root and
become trees.

Yes...but I'm still slippery when wet!

DANG!!!!!!!!!!!

I wondered what that burning itch was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL

Well I'd rather be murdered than die of venerial disease any day!!

It's a cheese infection. Native.

OMG!!!!!!!! Is that a new name for it?????????

eeewwww

SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 - DEC 21

You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendancy to
rely on luck, since you lack talent. The majority of Sagittarians are
drunks and dope fiends. People laugh at you a great deal

gemini. well at least that explains why lesbians hit on me.

<<sagittarius I am not a drunk. Look in my fridge there is only 1
beer. (remaining)

Is that a beer barrel fridge?