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| Topic: I have a question for the guys... | |
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maybe it's better this way, because he may realize that you might hurt him in the long run if he stays. it would be like trying to sail a sunken boat, he would like you as a friend, but we've all been down that road, where we like someone, and they just kinda like us, if you know what i mean, and eventually you get hurt, because they are still looking for greener grass, and won't settle....like you are....if the "one", comes along, you'll stop looking, correct? Yeah, I see your point. I just didn't wanna come on too strong. |
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I am kinda talking to a guy that drove an hour to see me last Saturday, and then turned around and wanted to take me on a lake trip on his boat Tuesday evening. We got back yesterday, and when he dropped me off, he immediately text me and thanked me for the trip. Before all this, I was kind of stand-offish and told him I wasn't really looking for much...he told me he was wanting a relationship. Then we decided to just keep an open mind when we met last Saturday, and then go from there. During our ride home yesterday, I actually asked him if he would like to remain friends, and he told me he had enough friends, that he still wanted more, so IDK if that's something he was just telling me, or what. I haven't heard from him yet today, though he was supposed to be busy all day working on something. If he's into me, shouldn't he be trying to talk to me every chance he gets? Or am I completely off? Just looking for some opinions... If I DON'T hear from him today, should I just shrug it off that maybe he WASN'T so into me? Ahh! I can't give you an answer but I do know how you feel. Don't Panic! |
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It seems to me that you made it clear that you weren't into him. So don't be surprised if you don't hear from him. i agree. but it seems that maybe you are wanting him to pursue you a bit. in which case, you're not being honest with him. you say you just want to be friends, but then you wonder why he doesn't pursue. i understand not wanting to seem too easy, but don't say one thing when you may mean something else. if you'd like to see him, in a more than friends sort of way, you should contact him and make an effort to get together. flirt with him so that he knows you're interested and if you don't want to seem easy, give him small rewards for his pursuits. a good night kiss, a light make out session, build up to the more intimate stuff and make him work a little for it. but if you just want to remain friends, don't contact him. if he doesn't contact you, let it go and learn from the experience. . . . |
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you won't just think it out and take your time, but be careful of his feelings, if you just want friendship and he wants more, for it sucks to be hurt.
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either you want to pursue it or you don't...make up your mind OK, just going to ignore the caddy replies that i'm playing games. This was a genuine question, wanted a mature answer. OK, about this, yes, at first I was just letting him know basically I didn't wanna jump into anything, but it didn't stop him from wanting to take me out. He should know i'm interested in him, or I would not have gone on the trip. We're men, not mind readers. |
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It seems to me that you made it clear that you weren't into him. So don't be surprised if you don't hear from him. i agree. but it seems that maybe you are wanting him to pursue you a bit. in which case, you're not being honest with him. you say you just want to be friends, but then you wonder why he doesn't pursue. i understand not wanting to seem too easy, but don't say one thing when you may mean something else. if you'd like to see him, in a more than friends sort of way, you should contact him and make an effort to get together. flirt with him so that he knows you're interested and if you don't want to seem easy, give him small rewards for his pursuits. a good night kiss, a light make out session, build up to the more intimate stuff and make him work a little for it. but if you just want to remain friends, don't contact him. if he doesn't contact you, let it go and learn from the experience. . . . So, i'm thinking, I don't get a call or text today, I may text him this evening just to tell him I was thinking about him. Is that out of line? |
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either you want to pursue it or you don't...make up your mind OK, just going to ignore the caddy replies that i'm playing games. This was a genuine question, wanted a mature answer. OK, about this, yes, at first I was just letting him know basically I didn't wanna jump into anything, but it didn't stop him from wanting to take me out. He should know i'm interested in him, or I would not have gone on the trip. We're men, not mind readers. I completely agree, but in this case, actions speak louder than words...I would think.. |
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either you want to pursue it or you don't...make up your mind OK, just going to ignore the caddy replies that i'm playing games. This was a genuine question, wanted a mature answer. OK, about this, yes, at first I was just letting him know basically I didn't wanna jump into anything, but it didn't stop him from wanting to take me out. He should know i'm interested in him, or I would not have gone on the trip. We're men, not mind readers. I completely agree, but in this case, actions speak louder than words...I would think.. Coming from a guy...actions are like flutters of wind, we don't hear them, see them, or really know they are there until they smack us upside the head with a stainless steel frying pan. |
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you won't just think it out and take your time, but be careful of his feelings, if you just want friendship and he wants more, for it sucks to be hurt. I completely agree. If I was not interested in this guy, I would not be looking for advice, nor would I CARE if he contacted me. You guys all seem like great people btw! What a breath of fresh air to know you have feelings as well! GOOD LUCK! |
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Yes, we are a funny bunch. And I think I can safely say I hope it works out. Communication is key.
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Yes, we are a funny bunch. And I think I can safely say I hope it works out. Communication is key. Thanks hon |
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So, i'm thinking, I don't get a call or text today, I may text him this evening just to tell him I was thinking about him. Is that out of line? not at all, but expect for him to be confused. i had something very similar happen to me. i had a girl tell me that she only wanted to be friends then she starts texting me while i'm on the way to work and asking if i want to get together on the weekend and stuff. i used to be pretty dense and i didn't realize that she was more interested than she had stated. when i didn't pursue, she eventually gave up on me. you may have to tell him that you changed your mind about just being friends just so that he's clear on your intentions. good luck. . . . |
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you may have to tell him that you changed your mind about just being friends just so that he's clear on your intentions. This already occurred. |
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Edited by
74Drew
on
Thu 03/19/09 10:00 AM
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you may have to tell him that you changed your mind about just being friends just so that he's clear on your intentions. This already occurred. i was just going off of the wording in her original post During our ride home yesterday, I actually asked him if he would like to remain friends, and he told me he had enough friends, that he still wanted more to me that doesn't say "hey, i think i'd like to try dating you." . . . |
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you may have to tell him that you changed your mind about just being friends just so that he's clear on your intentions. This already occurred. i was just going off of the wording in her original post During our ride home yesterday, I actually asked him if he would like to remain friends, and he told me he had enough friends, that he still wanted more to me that doesn't say "hey, i think i'd like to try dating you." . . . Read the whole thread. You're not getting it. |
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I am kinda talking to a guy that drove an hour to see me last Saturday, and then turned around and wanted to take me on a lake trip on his boat Tuesday evening. We got back yesterday, and when he dropped me off, he immediately text me and thanked me for the trip. Before all this, I was kind of stand-offish and told him I wasn't really looking for much...he told me he was wanting a relationship. Then we decided to just keep an open mind when we met last Saturday, and then go from there. During our ride home yesterday, I actually asked him if he would like to remain friends, and he told me he had enough friends, that he still wanted more, so IDK if that's something he was just telling me, or what. I haven't heard from him yet today, though he was supposed to be busy all day working on something. If he's into me, shouldn't he be trying to talk to me every chance he gets? Or am I completely off? Just looking for some opinions... If I DON'T hear from him today, should I just shrug it off that maybe he WASN'T so into me? Ahh! Honestly, I don't see why he would be calling you back. You asked him if he would like to remain friends. You want to be friends with him, right? He said he has enough friends. He's not looking for another friend. He's looking for more and you're not. You are both looking for opposite things. |
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Edited by
TheShadow
on
Thu 03/19/09 10:06 AM
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Well, i'm not here to bash or anything like that, but the OP needs to have an open mind to who ever might post on here. Your going to get replies and not all of them your going to like. We never get the answewrs we want, but if we look hard enough. We get the answersa we need. From reading your post. It looks like your into him more then you want to admit. Why worry if he should be trying to spend all the time he can with youor what ever if you just want to be friends? If you just want that. then keep it at that. if not, atlest let him know where you want to go with things.
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When he said he wanted more than friends how did you respond? I said, alright. I mean, this was just a question feeling him out during the end of our time together. I was letting him know "I" would be fine w/that if that's what he wanted. did you say it like you would be fine with that or did you say it like "ok, thanks for letting me know."? basically, was there any excitement in you voice or was it pretty bland? inflection means a lot. . . . |
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you may have to tell him that you changed your mind about just being friends just so that he's clear on your intentions. This already occurred. i was just going off of the wording in her original post During our ride home yesterday, I actually asked him if he would like to remain friends, and he told me he had enough friends, that he still wanted more to me that doesn't say "hey, i think i'd like to try dating you." . . . Read the whole thread. You're not getting it. YEAH, THIS WAS ALL BEFORE-HAND. JUST THOUGHT I WOULD THROW THAT IN THERE. I MEAN, WE ACTUALLY ALREADY SHARED THE TWO DAYS TOGETHER TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY, THIS IS JUST LIKE A FOLLOW-UP. WHEN SHOULD I GIVE UP? IF HE STILL TALKS, DOES THAT MEAN HE'S STILL INTO ME? I ACTUALLY JUST SENT A TEXT TELLING HIM I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HIM AND HOPES HE HAS A GREAT DAY. I BASICALLY AM NOT AWARE OF THE DATING 'DOS' AND 'DONT'S'. I HAVE PLAYED HARDBALL A LOT IN THE PAST, BUT I AM COMPLETELY HUMBLED NOW AND READY TO TAKE THAT NEXT STEP IF I MEET THE RIGHT PERSON. I MEAN, C'MON GUYS, WOULD IT NOT BOTHER YOU IF A CHICK TEXT YOU AND CALLED YOU 24/7? I AM LEARNING THAT I SHOULD SHOW 'SOME' INTEREST THOUGH. I GUESS IF I DON'T HEAR BACK FROM HIM TODAY, PERIOD...I WILL JUST GIVE UP. (SORRY FOR THE CAPS, MY KEYS ARE LOCKED) |
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i didn't tell him i wanted to be friends yesterday. i simply asked him if from here, if he would rather be friends or more, and he told me he has enough friends. that's all.
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