Ok this is serious

My best friend in all the world for 20 years has been married for 12 yrs
has 2 sons 8 and 10.

Her marriage, I just found out has been in her words, horrible for 6
years now. Her husband is making the same mistake far too many men do
in a marriage. He is simply not paying attention to her. A mistake I
am well equated with. They are not having sex life (She said I could
say that) and all he does is play on the computer and works way too
much. She tried talking to him, counseling seems to be out and the end
maybe near.

I don’t want this for her and she does not want this for her sons.

My question

Should I talk to him and tell him that if he wants his family he needs
to pull his head out of his ass and fix it and fix it now? When I lost
my family I did not know what I had till it walked out the door. He and
I are ok but she is my friend and she wants to save her mirage.

Or should I stay out of it and let it take its course? At this point I
don’t think I can make it worse…..

first...

she needs to try to talk to him...

since it is her relationship...

if that doesn't work then you can come into play...

I AGREE WITH STYX...

thanks Crazy

that makes me feel smart

she has been talking to him for years. Guys have an incredable
abbillity to hear nothing when in this situation. I know this from
experiance.....

OK

then tell her to pack her stuff and move out for a couple of weeks...

that way he will realize what it would be like when she is gone...


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tell her to take a break...

that doesn't mean goodbye...

it means 'dude think about all the ****ed up **** you've done

and change if you want me to come back!!!'

Ron...haven't you posted this dilemma like two months ago?

Or longer?

I am sure of it...

have they not found any resolution, nor done anything since then?

Jess,

Nope, just found out about when she came to visit me two weeks ago. She
had been putting up a front with me but after all this time she is at
her witts end.

So, no but should I get involed or just let them do what they need. You
are a wise person I would like your thoughts

"then tell her to pack her stuff and move out for a couple of weeks"


Another wise women, Thanks

Hmmm...have you been asked to go to talk to the husband?

And for the greater good of who are they staying married?

if HE was the closer of your friends...i'd tell you to go for it. since
it's her...he's liable to think you have ulterior motives.

You said that they were not having sex. Is that because he don't want to
or she does not want to? If it is because he no longer seems to want it.
There could be more to there problems with him not paying attention to
her than what is being looked at. For if it is him that no longer seems
to want sex he could be having a problem with gettting an erection it
does happen in more men than they will admit. There are solutions to the
problem but they must see a doctor in order to find out why it is
happening in order to fix it. Or could he be having an affair? But
sounds like they need to both get counseling together if they really
want to save the marriage.

unless you are HIS best friend anything you say is only words
to him...stay out of it..

o.k here's something for her to try and it's worked for me before it
certainly won't hurt anything,,,,i think she should try writing a note
and let him know in the note that she is very worried and wants the
marriage to work she love's him and cares very much and give detail's of
all the thing's that concern her and simply ask that he write back and
leave his note where her note is with a response to her note !! you may
or may not want to get involved depending on how close you are to HIM !!

good advise all

Thanks


Resently I had 2 long time friends visit me, both married and both very
unhappy. Made me feel good about being alone and not married

Unless your real tight with him, stay out of it.

I too think you should stay out of it.

Tell her to pack HIS bag and leave it at the front door... maybe then
he'll listen.

If you are friends with him to yes a man to man may make him open his
eyes....

Ron
Be a friend to her and give her the best advice you can. If you stick
your nose in the middle of her marriage problem you could make things
worse. Especially if she wants to save her marriage. You could wind up
loosing a friend if you get to involved.