And it is Jehova's Witnesses or Mormons. How do you get rid of them?


Personal favorite is to happily offer them to hear them out but they have to hear me out afterwords and happily tell them I am a member of the Church of Satan and that I would be more than happy to tell them about the virtues of pleasure unbound and nothing but fulfilling my wildest ambitions all at the expense of others all to glorify the dark Master. I usually somewhere casually mention that the only sin is pleasures unknown. They usually are gone well before that point.


Trust me, they seem to know how to read a bible but "no solicitors" must mean something wholly different in the bible or they cannot read signs for some odd reason!

If I see them coming I don't answer the door, but sometimes they catch ya outside. I politely tell them I am not interested. I know this is part of the religion but really, I can decide on my own how and if I choose to worship.

Tell them I am not interested or don't answer the door.

Easiest way I ever got rid of them was totally by accident. I was still a teenager living at home, and I had just gotten done shooting a bothersome squirrel out of the tree with my 12-guage shotgun, and I was cleaning the gun when they drove up in the driveway. I hadn't seen them drive up, and when I answered the door, I was inadvertently still holding the shotgun.

They didn't even say anything to me, but I never knew two human beings could run that fast.

widen your eyes as wide as can be and start talking in another language...whether you know one or not

I don't get rid of them, the Jehovah's Witnesses that is. Only because I've known just about all of them for years and most of them I am still on a friendly basis with.

They come to my door, ask how I've been, ask about my Mom, (cause she still is one) invite me to the Kingdom Hall, and that's it.

I know, I'm an exception to what you were getting at, lol.

As for the Mormons, I've never had one actually visit my home. So I don't know how I'd react.

Living down here we get all the time these folks knocking on our doors.

This gives me the opportunity to speak Mandarin as I am studying it on a daily bases.

I get a good laugh when they see a white man speaking only Mandarin with them.

They don't even leave a brochure or booklet behind anymore because of that.

Of course I could speak my native language or two other languages I know, but the biggest odd expressions come from Mandarin.

My Favorite are Mormons.

My very first love when I was 15.. She is a mormon now.. we are friends today (she looked me up several years ago).. she tries to give me the holy stuff with sermons postings etc. I give it right back at her with jokes with nude women that I get from e mails ( save them just for this reason ) dirty jokes etc.. she asked for a truce.

I usually say..."if ur religion is so good, it will speak for itself"

Then i shut the door.

At my old apartment, the Mormons wouldn't knock on the door. They'd wait until I was getting my mail and corner me. Here, I just don't answer the door.

The last time a Jehovah's Witness came to my house we ended up talking about pantheism for about an hour.

He found it extremely intriguing.

Before he left I gave him some old books that I had on pantheism.

I didn't even mean to try to convince him of pantheism. He simply asked me what I believed and I told him and he became quite interested.

Obviously he was still searching for answers himself.

So should we all.

I've had more than just Mormons, mostly JW's at my door. I treat them all the same. Never had these visitors in the winter, but in summer I offer them something cold to drink. If they accept,I speak as they drink, if they don't I give them my speech before they have an opportunity.

I usually tell them I'm an athiest, homosexual, working on my PH.D in psychology___then I make up the rest, as in: my specific interest is in the the affects of religion on the mind. Then I begin to explain certain beliefs actually have the ability to alter the brain. Did you know that your beliefs and how you react to them can stimulate your nervous system? When that happens any number of chemical reactions can occur. Some of these cause depression and psychosis, and some affect your hormones. The hormones are a problem because these can cause internal imbalance in your organs as well, but I'm interested in the mental illness aspect. Yea, I've applied for a grant to do research into the correlation between religious beliefs and mental illness. If you tell me how I can contact you, I might include in my study.

Only once did I actually get that far, and that was as they were walking away. Only recently did I think - this might be bad because what if one of those people is prone to depression or some somatoform disorder, already? I could be making it worse by suggesting there is reason to be concerned.

I'll have to think of something else for this summer.

this may be a good place to get suggestions.

Out here, most Kingdom Halls are small and perfectly square, which makes putting eight rolls of TP on a broomstick and running around the building both easy and fun.

I'm sure they are interpreting it as no prostitution. So it doesn't apply to them......

A Simple sign always works. . .

"Solicitors will be shot, survivors will be shot again."

Mormons are funny. We get those around here. They show up in those white shirts and black ties. The nice thing about Pagans is they DONT proselytize as a rule. They actually have a prohibition on it. When was the last time you were woken up at 9am Saturday morning by proselytizing Wiccans?

It was a case of the "reverse-conversion."

just stand behind the door and make demon sounds like Linda Blair did in "The Exorcist"