I'd answer, but first I need to take out these aching dentures so that I can type.

Seems I also have a burr - from being too long in the saddle. That, or too long in the tooth.?


What's the old saying? The spirit is willing, but the flesh is ... never mind, I forgot.

Signs That You Are No Longer A Kid:

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you ?"

And old biddy


I am good {{{mitch}}} how are you

Good, the first couple of people have arrived. I'm going to have to abandon the computer soon...

God, grant me the Senility
To forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune
To run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight
To tell the difference.

If the truth be told...getting older is an amazing honor...after all that I've put my body & mind through in the past...I've got to believe that I was put here for a purpose...now I've just got to figure it out!

Sing it sister! We were SO blessed to survive all "THAT", yes!?!

Getting older also beats the alternative.

Or, as I oft' say: "Birthdays are a symptom of health!"

Breathing is good...

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonalds. He noticed that they had ordered one meal and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife.
The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them, so they didn't have to split theirs.

The old gentleman said, "Oh, no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50."

The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied: "Not yet, it's his turn with the teeth!."

Getting older is NOT for sissies!

Edited to add: Eeeeeeeewww to the above joke!

To the moon, Alice, to the moon...

Take the gas pipe, Edith...

At 85 years, Morris marries a lovely 25 year old woman. Because her new husband is so old the woman decides that on their wedding night they should have separate bedrooms.

She is concerned that the old fellow could overexert himself. After the wedding festivities she prepares herself for bed and for the knock on the door she is expecting.

Sure enough the knock comes and there is her groom ready for action. They unite in conjugal union and all goes well whereupon he takes his leave of her and she prepares to go to sleep for the night.

After a few minutes there's a knock on the door and there old Morris is again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised she consents to further coupling which is again successful after which the octogenarian bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is certainly ready for slumber at this point, and is close to sleep, for the second time when there is another knock at the door and there he is again fresh as a 25 year old and ready for more.

Once again they do the horizontal boogie. As they're laying in afterglow the young bride says to him, "I am really impressed that a man your age has enough stamina to go at it three times. I've been with guys less than half your age who were only good for one time. You're a great lover Morris."

Morris looks confused, and turns to her and says," I was here already?"

Good, senility does have its greater porpoise then! Phew...

There is no dignity in death...so we may as well make an ash out of ourselves while we still can...

It's like Jack Nicholson once said, "If you gotta go, go out with a smile."

I feel like crap most of the time.

I feel like a 62 year-old in a 36 year-old body.

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

I heard there was a hot stripper lesbian available!