Buddhism generally approaches depression from a quite different viewpoint than modern Western psychology.

The Buddhist perspective is that an underlying selfishness/egotism is often the basic cause of feeling depressed.

Please realise that if this is upsetting you, basically this is considered the main psychological problem that many have according to Buddhist psychology, and depression can be an unexpected result of it.

Also, this does not mean that the suffering person should be 'blamed' for the condition, but rather opens up a very different approach to the problem using medtitation and emphasis on compassion and loving-kindness.

Even though these methods may neither be quick nor instantly effective, negative side effects are virtually unheard of; and who cannot use a bit of emphasis on loving-kindness?

A very interesting aspect of reflection on compassion and love is the point that we need to respect, forgive and have compassion not only for others, but ourselves as well.

One of the causes for depression can be a strong sense of dissatisfaction with ourselves; perhaps the page on lack of self-confidence could be helpful?

In modern society, it appears that only 'being number one' counts, but this leaves out the other 6 billion people, including 'me'.

Does that mean that I am worthless? Of course not!

Just look at the other end of the scale: many of our so-called great heroes of the past are admired for their power, courage and intelligence, but how many heroes can you think of that actually made it a point to create happiness and security instead of waging war and creating havoc?

Simply being a loving and caring person tends to help the world a lot more than being 'number one'.

One may admire pop-idols and moviestars, but many of them are (or will be) in a sorry state, addicted to drugs and 'life in the fast lane'; not understanding that happiness is a state of their own mind, not of their bank account, level of drugs, availability of sex etc.

If we can genuinely wish ourselves happiness and radiate that wish to others, our state of mind can change dramatically.

If we change our mind, we can change our mood - a simple process, but not easy to achieve quickly.

One of the most important things is to understand that we can change our own mind if we make a bit of an effort.

If we would not be able to change anything in our mind, how did we ever learn to read and write?

Andrew Solomon wrote in 'Anatomy of Melancholy':

"When you are depressed, the past and the future are absorbed entirely by the present, as in the world of a three-year-old.

You can neither remember feeling better nor imagine that you will feel better.

Being upset, even profoundly upset, is a temporal experience, whereas depression is atemporal.

Depression means that you have no point of view."

When we are in such a state, we probably need more than what is described above, but once we can see the way out again, it is possible to work on a more permanent change of our mind.

The buddhist sage Nagarjuna said:

If there is a remedy when trouble strikes,
What reason is there for despondency?
And if there is no help for it,
What is the use of being sad?

So come what may, I'll never harm
My cheery happiness of mind.
Depression never brings me what I want;
My virtue will be warped and marred by it.

Openness can be another key factor: 'miracles' do happen when we stop resisting them, because although the result can appear miraculous, our mind changes continuously, and our minds can only be changed by ouselves.

Sincerely trying to help others is probably the best cure when we really feel sorry for ourselves as I have done this for almost half my life as a humantarian.

But if we are not mindful of ourselves and others, helping others can lead to burnout.

So the buddhist approach of study and meditation emphasizes taking control over our own mind and directing it into more positive habits.

From notes on a teaching by His Holiness the Dalai Lama:

"There was an empirical study that found that people who have the tendency to use more self-referential terms (I, me, myself) tend to have more health problems and earlier deaths (the Dalai Lama had heard this the day before from another speaker in neurology at a symposium on Buddhism and meditation in New York City).

These people have more involvement with the self.

Being self-absorbed has an immediate effect of narrowing one's focus and blurring one's vision.

It is like being pressed down by a heavy load.

If, on the other hand, you think more about others' well-being, it immediately makes you feel more expansive, liberated and free.

Problems which before may have seemed enormous would then seem more manageable."

The following message appeared in a Buddhist discussion forum, where self-centeredness was discussed as a possible important factor in depression:

"Having myself experienced extreme, regularly to the point of suicidal, depression, I think I can understand your point of view at least to a certain extent.

But on the notion of self-centredness, I'm afraid I have to agree.

From my own experience, coming through a massive clinical depression and coming through to the other end, cured, I believe self-centredness to be the very cause of depression.

And not just depression, but every ailment in the world as we know it.

The irony is, I can only see this NOW, with hindsight, looking back at my mindstate when I was depressed: "ego all the way, me me me, MY problems, MY depression, MY past, MY MY MY MY..."

That very self-absorbed, self-centred fascination with my own ego and its agenda mindstate is exactly what kept me trapped in that depression for so long.

It's only when I started to consider that maybe -- just maybe -- as one of the 6 BILLION people on this plant, other people had problems FAR WORSE than mine, that the clouds began to part.

And when I realised that I was being very selfish and WASTING my life in a state of -- excuse me, but there are few better terms -- mental masturbation.

All I was doing was feeding my ego, indulging its little whims and woes, and feeling sorry for myself.

What was I doing for humanity?

Nothing.

And yes, that is self-centredness in its highest -- or should I say lowest -- form.

Of course, the great curse of the ever-nourished ego -- the root of all depression -- is that when you're IN that state, you CAN'T SEE it for what it is.

It's like the people stuck in the Matrix (the film). They wouldn't believe it if you told them they were living in a dream.

You have to wake up for yourself, then you see it."

I hope this article helps you if you suffer depression.

O! Smiless, we should have a discussion about this! Sometime soon. B/C I have a lot of stuff to bounce off of you about my son's father (who is bipolar) I can see where the selfishness comes in. Hmmmmmm.... I will have to read over this all later, ponder and get back to you!

Anytime and if I cannot find a answer immediately, I will try my best to find an answer to help your relation with your son's father to the extent where there is peace between the three of you. One who seeks can find a way and I am sure there is a way to resolve this suffering.

I am not worried about resolution. Just curious about mental health and buddhism... and I just have a context to discuss it.

I understand and am looking forward in what you have to share with me.

My cat has cabin fever. Can you do anything for my cat?

That's one ommmmm- ing cat you have there James...

Mine are more of the zen staring variety.

too funny Let you cat out of the house to play in the labyrinth you build this year

Bahahahhaaahahahahaah

No offense smiles

I do that myself without being a Buddhist. I always look at what I am feeling and how productive it is for me. I also let go of things that I cannot change. If it is someone who angers me or makes me feel sad, I let them go instead of trying to change them. I know that the only thing I can change in life is me and how I deal with the outside world or inside world if it is an issue within me.

Most of the time anger can be resolved in this manner.

Most of the time depression can be resolved in this manner.

I too have noticed with my son, he is very selfish and if life does not go his way, which is most of the time, he gets angry and depressed over it.

I have told him he is like a wild animal in a cage, banging his head on every wall in his way in hopes it will yeild to his way. Of course it barely ever happens the way he wants so he thinks the world is against him all the time. He has been this way since he was young and has changed only a little since then.

none taken as laughing is great for the soul

Do you know the reason why he is this way? Was there an event or events that had gotten him to feel in such a way? Sometimes one can dig deeper in finding out the reasons of why a person acts the way they do.

I am not saying you have to do this of course, but perhaps it has something to do with his upbringing that brought him to feel in such a manner.

I too raise my precious one and she knows from the beginning that everything in the world has to be earned. Nothing will be given to her for free. One has to work for it. She is a straight A honor role student in a private school and she comes to me to read or be educated because she finds it fun. That was my whole intention is to make it fun for her to like to learn.

I must admit I do go to toysrus and buy 200 dollars worth of toys she can enjoy. I put a point system on the toys and have them on shelves to look at. A little toy store so to say. If she wants a toy she has to get a certain amount of points to earn it. For example she has to read to me 20x and she earns a Barbie Doll Bicycle set with accessories. So she is reading to me every day. Not once but twice a day. At first this was to get her interested in stories, but later it was about the toys, now it is not even about the toys anymore. It is just the fact that she wants to read a new story each day and doesn't even pay attention to the point system anymore.

The school is even thinking about entering her into a spelling bee competition.

In the end she realizes that one has to work for things to earn them.

I know everytime I explain this system it gives new ideas to other parents to try out. I always get good replies from this.

Then of course your child might be older. Perhaps those trouble teen years where the transformation from teenager to adult occurs. There are still ways to deal with it. Most importantly a listening ear is very important as they need someone to just listen to them.

Of course I am not trying to tell you how to raise your child and I have no clue what happened in the past that your son reacts the way he does, but I hope for what it is worth that something good will happen in the future to have a better understanding together.

I would say how you deal with anger and depression is a good aspect. Some can handle it better then others.