I said I would refrain....I agree with you isn't that enough?
you win.. and I'll be quite

Screw that. Rant if you want.

I agree - healthy lifestyle for the children.

Anytime my friend

Must be able to balance being a parent with being a spouse. Time together is as important as time with the kids. Also doesn't let the kid/s play one off against the other.

This might belong on a thread of its own. But, how would you deal with a great match if they never had kids? Do you have a "learning curve" for someone like that?

That's a big word and oh, so true.

An open heart,to be willing to love the child as their own.
An understanding that the 'bio-parent' may have limits, ideals,and considerations that may have to respected above their own.
A willingness to risk that the child may never love them like a child/parent relationship.
To understand, that this probably is going to be a very different ride than what you thought it was going to be.

I think that one's hard to do - balancing.

I think as long as boundaries are established and maintained, anything is possible. Like anything worthwhile, you get out what you put into it.

Yet that is what makes the relationship work.

I think there would be a learning curve.

John Lennon said it best, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."

He would have to love and take care of my kids as if they were his and expect the same from me if he had any children.

i think balanace is extremly important...i believe that is one of the major reasons relationships do fail. between work and kids and friends and making time for oneself....a persons 'better half' is often left out of the equation.


being able to juggle is also an important thing to look for.,...especially if you are with someone that already has kids of their own.

Isn't there a learning curve in every relationship.

What all of you have posted looking in a person, when taking your kids into account makes sense. It's the same qualities our ideal person would have even if kids weren't in the picture.

Now time to take the "shades" off some of you happy parents.

The person that chooses to be with you, is settling. Don't jump the gun and call the hounds on me till you read my explanation. In a relationship there is such a thing as a compromise and settling. Having childern with someone else, then expecting another person to love them as you love them isn't a compromise. You have made choices in your life for you ( and whoever you were with at the time), not for the person who now enters the picture. They had no say in those choices and yet now you "expect" them to conform to that life style. That is settling.

Is settling bad? not really if the person you chose to do it with is worth the world to you. My whole point of this post is so that you proud parents understand the "flip-side" of what this person will be going through. While you speak of compassion and understanding, make sure you have penlty to give back to this person as well.

Have you ever been accused of overcomplicating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

Joe,

I think HeartSoul raised some good points.