no offence to anyone, but the military isnt all bad, they fight to keep us protected, my brother n law was in the military the first 6 years of my sisters relationship with him, and if anything they have just gotten stronger. if this guy is madly in love as it seems eventually he will find u, u just have to give him time, his life is the military as is for the majority of the soldiers. and who knows u could always find one better

No offense taken. Perhaps you did not read all my posts hon.

I LOVE MILITARY. I am a complete and utter fan of all military .. Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force .. I think military is right up there under God.

One of the reasons I AM so taken with my man is his devotion and sense of loyalty to his brothers in Special Forces. I just grieve he can't 'get' that he can share his life with them and me.

He feels he can only commit partially because of his former committment to them and I have known some fine military who are devoted to their significant others as well. I would be happy with even partial committment, because he rocks. Truly, a strong man of character and strength. I'm totally smitten as he says he is just that he made a committment to them. *sigh*

But if keeping me in his life would for ONE minute jeopardize his safety out on the field I would give him up in my own heart because he comes first.

Finally, I begin to understand.
His perception (perhaps true, realizing his own limits/tendencies in himself) that being in love would interfere with his 100% surety of being on top and totally dependable to his comrades is its own danger.
Your wisdom outdistances me.
As you said, when he realizes/knows that he can be fully at his best in fulfilling his calling and also be fully in love, then it becomes possible.
I could venture here a possibility that the very fact of being in love might accentuate his ability to perform at an even higher level than he now imagines.
Many of us men who have gone into the mist and darkness of live fighting have seen the superhuman prowess which is inextricably linked to the greater-than-death determination to achieve the impossible in order to see their beloved one more time.
Self-knowledge is essential. Without confidence in oneself it is impossible.
I am almost ashamed that I cannot go forth in his place, and tell him to live the life that we each fought to defend and to make possible.
((((hugs)))

YEP! YOU GOT IT! .. now if only HE would. I can only trust that if this truly is God's will .. the "us" part, that HE will show him the amazing possibility and strength from same.

THIS is where my pain lies. Because I can see it, and he can't

A Woman's Prayer for her Soldier

Dear Lord,

Give me the greatness of heart to see
The difference between his duty and his love for me.
Give me understanding so that I may know
That when duty calls him, he must go.
Give me a task to do each day
To fill the time when he is away.
And Lord, when he is in a foreign land,
Keep him safe and in your loving hand.

Never before have i read a thread and felt so sad and hurt. Not to be mean to you judy but that boy is an idiot. You are so right about a woman being a strong asset to us military boys so him letting you go like that will probally hurt him in the long wrong and he will come running back to you. I hope you start feeling better cause i know this had to hurt so badly.

Damien, I thank you for your kind words to me. They mean a lot. I know you mean well and yet he is not an idiot. He is merely confused.

I know you are a praying man. That said, and seeing here that you feel my pain with a compassionate heart .. please pray for him to see he can have both .. a woman and a purpose. I love that he does. Have purpose that is.

It makes him all the more attractive to me. He just thinks he HAS to be ALL and ONLY about that. And I don't think he's ever had a woman who was willing to let him do so.

I am. He just needs to "get" that. *sigh* I do hope he comes back. I am waiting for him.

Oh yes .. I love it Debbie. And you know I DO understand his committment and calling. Now I need to have him understand my desire to stand with him.

*sigh*

Of course I will pray for you I wanna see you happy

Thank you sooooooooo much. I really appreciate that. I know you are a man of your word and will. Pray for him especially. He needs it more for direction.

Hmmmm...Perhaps he can see it.
Were I--or many other men--in his shoes, the real knowledge that we lose ourselves in love, and we cannot focus well on intricate/complex/demanding things and also be enraptured with love...it is undeniable and it would be foolishness for us to pretend that we are capable of both lives.
It is for this purpose that honeymoons exist. All wise people know that the initial overwhelming totality of loving union thrashes the heart, soul and mind to the point of incapacitation and even loss of self-control.
You two need a month-long honeymoon just to know where you stand--individually and together--at the end of it.
So...how long until he can muster a full month, or even two weeks, to do justice to the love that you two are holding at bay?

Exactly his argument. So I have to be willing to understand and hold onto what we had & hope for more someday. As I said, I don't want his focus to be impaired. His safety, and that of his team is absolutely the most important.

I think that you need to visit the wife of the unit CO, and have a talk with her.

There's ways...and then...there's ways.

Oh wow wow I think that is a great idea....

i did read all of them, but most army men stay single for the fact that they dont want the girls to wait on them forever because its actually not fair to ask that. but some do that, and also they have the fear of being cheated on because theyll be so many miles away anyway....im sure if he likes u as much as u have said he will come back to u when he has fulfilled his commitment to the military. they cant be destracted when theyre on the line

Well that's a great idea and certainly thought about by me, and I am more than willing to wait. BUT .. that would mean at least 12 years .. cuz he's a lifer and only done 8. *sigh*

It gives him joy to do what he's doing, it's his passion. The dilemma here is that he didn't know he was getting in this deep when we first started talking again. He had no idea he'd feel this way.

The hardest part is that he cut off all communication. He did say he would find me when the time is right. That's just very vague for me. It's a matter of the heart .. and of course it's always harder on the one at 'home'.

I do understand about the fear of cheating and especially the reticence on their part to ask a girl to wait on them because it's not fair. But I WANT to wait if I know it will be within a reasonable amount of time. I would just love to meet in person before he really leaves the base here (once he gets back from Iraq).

I definitely don't want him distracted. He means way too much. Thank you for sharing ..

(((((Fade)))))


You seem like a strong woman,who know's what you want from life.I see that you have him in your and I know he feels the same for you!! He was being a MAN to let you in on how he was wanting his LIFE to go...Even thou you are saddened,each and every day..Life still goes on..I know that you are on his mind,as well as he is on your's....Think positive..The best may be yet to come....

TYVM Sherry. These are very encouraging words.

If you read my profile, I have made it very clear to him (he says he comes on to look at my pics even tho he is deactivated) that I won't move on.

I love him with all my heart .. the man I've seen him to be. His devotion to the service and his 'calling' is so admirable. I truly believe his desire is genuine. He's my hero.

You are a Beautiful woman inside,and out...Follow your heart!!!!!

That is EXACTLY what I plan on keeping on doing ..


Thanks hon