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| Topic: Taken for granted...... | |
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what things have you done to stop being taken for granted...............advise please I got to the point where I just eliminate those people from my life. Excellent point Lex... I have to totally agree. I am one that believes you can only be taken for granted if you allow it. I also believe you are the only one that can stop it. I personally will address the issue nonconfrontationally then if that doesn't work I just won't put myself in that position for it to continue. I will go to the length of cutting that person out of my life. |
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what things have you done to stop being taken for granted...............advise please I got to the point where I just eliminate those people from my life. I had to see what bad boy Lex had to say. 
(By "eliminate" do you mean "eliminate them" or the eliminate the relationship?) 
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what things have you done to stop being taken for granted...............advise please It depends. I'm a giver and only have friends that are giving. I suppose if a new potential friend was a taker for too long, I'd stop giving, and put much more distance between me and them. |
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Split from my wife & getting a divorce, that brought all the bs to a stop.
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I had to see what bad boy Lex had to say.
(By "eliminate" do you mean "eliminate them" or the eliminate the relationship?)
People get pushed out of buildings every day. Nobody saw me. 
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Taking for granted is like being taking advantage of, nobody can be unless they allow it.
I help because i want to and it makes me feel good so I guess I'm selfish because I do it for myself but at least that way nobody takes advantage of me or takes me for granted unless I let them. |
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wait I like granite....are we talking about home renovations?
I figure if it hurts the atmosphere of the home.. you replace it or get rid of it all together |
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Rather online or in the real world,
I will calmly point out the error of their way, and ask that it cease. If it continues to persist, I will discontinue all association with said person(s). |
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what things have you done to stop being taken for granted...............advise please Let them know when they have crossed a boundary or personal limit. Don't be sweet about it. Don't give in to things that matter to you. Let what matters to you be known - and clearly. Stop doing for others what they need to learn to do for themselves. Stop protecting people from their own mistakes or they will never learn. Be selfish sometimes. Think of and put yourself first! Learn to say no - when you need to - and even "just because". Expect from others. Really expect it. |
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I had to see what bad boy Lex had to say.
(By "eliminate" do you mean "eliminate them" or the eliminate the relationship?)
People get pushed out of buildings every day. Nobody saw me.
Like Charlie Brown says: I DIDN'T DO IT, NOBODY SAW ME, YOU CAN'T PROVE A THING!
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I had to see what bad boy Lex had to say.
(By "eliminate" do you mean "eliminate them" or the eliminate the relationship?)
People get pushed out of buildings every day. Nobody saw me.
Like Charlie Brown says: I DIDN'T DO IT, NOBODY SAW ME, YOU CAN'T PROVE A THING!
Until it shows up on "America's Funniest Home Videos," I'm not admitting to anything....!
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 ITS TRUE MIND GAMES ARE NO FUN BUT SOMETIMES U JUST HAVE TO PLAY THE WAY THEY DO AND MAKE THEM HAVE A TASTES OF THIER OWN MEDICINE IT HURTS BUT U HAVE TO BE TOUGH DONT LET THEM C UR WEAK SIDE ANY MORE AND NEVER THINK UR BEING TO CRUEL BECAUSE THEY WILL TRY AND MAKE U FEEL GUILTY EVEN THO UR NOT.. I WAS IN UR SHOES SO I KNO HOW IT FEELS BUT NOW THE PAPERS FLIPPED AND I HAVE HIM JUST LIKE HE HAD ME... BUT U HAVE TO B STRONG AND THEY WILL TEST U TO C HOW FAR THEY CAN STILL GET AWAY WITH
This is so true. I think i needed to hear this again. thanx 
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what things have you done to stop being taken for granted...............advise please Well when they are too busy to take a moment and drop an e-mail and decide not to answer the phone...confront the behavior. If it continues...simply walk away. |
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what things have you done to stop being taken for granted...............advise please Let them know when they have crossed a boundary or personal limit. Don't be sweet about it. Don't give in to things that matter to you. Let what matters to you be known - and clearly. Stop doing for others what they need to learn to do for themselves. Stop protecting people from their own mistakes or they will never learn. Be selfish sometimes. Think of and put yourself first! Learn to say no - when you need to - and even "just because". Expect from others. Really expect it. AWESOME POST! |
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what things have you done to stop being taken for granted...............advise please Just say no! |
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Thanks for the advise..........I incorporated most of what you all said and went with it when I spoke to the person...........sadly enough they had this same convo with someone else who also felt the same way as I didnt and then it all came together for them............Its funny how things if left unsaid would keep going.........I usually dont let people put me in this position but its much harder when you love someone to tell them who they are..........I just hope after our discussion that the person will rectify the issues and we can move on....................but its easier said than done as we all know........
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what things have you done to stop being taken for granted...............advise please If you have a giving personality it is easy to feel taken for granted. Looking within yourself and figureing out why you seem to go further than you feel comfortable with. I don't know if any of these reasons apply or maybe there a completely different ones. ( ) You feel you have to make up for being selfish in another part of your relationship? ( ) Do you want to be seen as "nice". ( ) Have you been allowed to say "No" in your history? ( ) Have you always pushed yourself beyond your boundries to be successful? ( ) Do you see being submissive as feminine? ( ) Are you too intelligent to acknowledge someone being and ass? ( ) Are you hopeing that what you give out will come back to you? ( ) Are you trying to be more giving because someone was so selfish in your life that you don't want to be like them? ( ) Do you feel so grateful/guilty for having what you do that you feel you have to give back? ( ) Do you just go ahead and do it because it seems petty to complain? ( ) Do you just do it because it is quicker or it gets done your way? ( ) Do you tolerate a guy because he isn't as bad as some you have seen? ( ) Do you tolerate someone because your friends/family will blame you for picking a looser? ( )Do you think this is as good as it gets? ( ) Do you stay with the devil you know because you are afraid of the devil you haven't met? ( ) Do you feel superior that you give more than your share? ( ) Do you take it will make your partner look unmanly to help you? ( )Do you think he should know how to help? Read your mind? ( ) Do you not want to fight because you know he won't fight fair? Once you figure out why you let someone take advantage of you it probably makes sense to set a goal to say "NO" to your top three worst peeves? Habits are hard to break but practice makes perfect. Wouldn't hurt to work on prevention either. If you don't start being a doormat you don't have to stop. If the only way some guy is going to stick around is because he can take advantage of you in the first place it is easier to loose him early. If you are hopeing to remediate someone it is possible but not anything to bet big money on. I found when someone doesn't pick up their stuff either putting it away in totally the wrong place is helpful. Throwing things away is effective. I had a room-mates that left underwear on the floor. I warned them and then when it got down to about two pair of underwear they started making it into the hamper. When a guy forgets to say "Thank You" don't do whatever you did and tell them well I figure it didn't mean enough to you to say thank you so I didn't see it was necessary. When someone doesn't remember you for a holiday skip them the next holiday or year and remember someone that does. One thing I know does NOT work is nagging, treating them like a kid, or being the manners police. There is a saying that "What you ignore you endorse". In some cases that is true if you ignore the behavior but not if you totally ignore the person. Sorry someone is making you feel bad. (HUGS) True, True, True and True 
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why not put some distance and time between each other. If it helps then it was therapy. If it does not then the relationship is dead if not dying.
Sometimes relationships hit an impasse and games only inflame a bad problem. Usually a separation of two week to a month allows people to get a clear grip and view of the situation they face together. |
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why not put some distance and time between each other. If it helps then it was therapy. If it does not then the relationship is dead if not dying. Sometimes relationships hit an impasse and games only inflame a bad problem. Usually a separation of two week to a month allows people to get a clear grip and view of the situation they face together. I totally understand but I think its because we have been apart and this really hasnt happened that many times that we have been together...........and his friends arent a help they are causing more issues............pretty much told him to get his act straight or he can start fukcin his friends and see how far that goes for him.........(his friends are a married couple) |
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that is a very wise statement and will remember it and also share it as well with others
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