My thoughts on this is that a failed reltionship is a time to reflect on what you did wrong too. I don't seem to find a lot of this since dating, everyone i meet tells me how the other was at fault. I look back and think boy i wish i had done a better job. Am i all alone in this feeling?

No, since my husband left I've done alot of self reflection. I wish I'd known his issues before he left or that he'd given me a chance to work on them. I will try to be more open in the future.

No, your not alone.-Live and Learn

No your not. I think about it from time to time. Where did I go wrong an why did he always take his anger out on me? Still can't figure it out

not at all, I could have done better, but there are somethings I have no control over....and that is the way it is...

You are absolutely NOT wrong. It's important to own up to your part of the demise of any relationship, be it friends or significant other. Why repeats mistakes of the past?

Ever heard the old saying? "It takes two to tango" What I mean by that... None wants to ever admit to their own faults. That's exactly why they have one failed relationship after another. They don't admit to their faults, so they don't bother to fix them. I beleve to most failed relationships... Both are at fault on different levels. Not necessarily one more at fault than the other... but each at fault in a differing way.

Oh ok. The fact that my last ex was unmedicated Bi Polar, and tried on a couple of occasions to KILL me was actually my own fault.

I'll try to remember that in the future.

Mmmmmmmm, the fault there was maybe you didn't get to know her enough before you dated her? I dunno. Sorry that happened to you.

Yep, it takes two to fight. Communication is the key and seems to be lacking in so many relationships.

Noo offense... But knowing all of that about them, Wouldn't that make that your fault for not leaving when it happened the first time?

not everybody can comprehend that particular situation....more often than not they would have had to be in a relationship like that...

like I said, there are some things you have no control over, for those who never have to go through that, they are blessedly ignorant..

It shows you more about yourself & what you look for in a person in future relationships.

IDK. I think that I'm either too forward in wanting or, too shy? Both for men, I think. Leave's me sad and, not knowing what to do next.

That what to look for part is sooo true. My ex-husband and my current boyfriend are like polar opposites. I didn't really do that on purpose, but just was WAY more mature in knowing what I needed in a partner.

yep i think back and regret things and still want to see my x happy even though i know it will never be with me. I have yet to meet someone that has said that to me. They all tell me what a jerk he was and it was all his fault. then i say i was wrong as much as she was and they act like i am crazy. A couple of these women obviously had some serious issues and i'm thinking boy i had it pretty good. Oh well just thinking aloud. Ohh.. here is the kicker, one told me since i dont hate my x i must still have feelings for her and i have a problem. this is crap if you ask me!

I seriously doubt that was your fault.

Absolutely not. I feel the same way. I know I have pushed men away that probably really loved me and meant the best for us both. I had a very demanding career which meant I always had to be at the top of my game. I made sacrifices for that cause. Men fell by the wayside. However it made me who I am today and I truly have no regrets.

Sounds like you have had a pretty fair share of severely insecure women in your life. Next time around... Try to find one that is strong-headed, and confident.

they may lay the blame on the ex because the relationship (between you and the new gal) is new, nobody wants their faults out in the open at the beginning... as for the last bit that was kind of odd, but caring for someone does not mean you have issues..it means you have a heart...and enough humility not to let your pride get in the way of that..