Topic: Evolution Is it Compatible With THE BIBLE? | |
---|---|
|
|
|
|
For those who have computer problems Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on The computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job. So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They faxed. They e-mailed. They e-mailed with attachments. They downloaded. They did spreadsheets! They wrote reports. They created labels and cards. They created charts and graphs. They did some genealogy reports They did every job known to man. Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell. Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: 'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!' Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate. 'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all His work and I don't have any?' God just shrugged and said, JESUS SAVES |
|
|
|
LMFAO!!!!
|
|
|
|
You better be careful doll....you might actually start to think that hmmmmm these Christians aren't so bad....
And I might have to put I crush ya in the crush thread....roglh |
|
|
|
Mahan see Christians can even have a sense of humor,...lol
|
|
|
|
Mahan see Christians can even have a sense of humor,...lol I thought Christians spend all day praying and walking around as if they had pine cone stuffed up an orifice. God actually allows you to have fun? |
|
|
|
Mahan see Christians can even have a sense of humor,...lol I thought Christians spend all day praying and walking around as if they had pine cone stuffed up an orifice. God actually allows you to have fun? Such delusions people.....as much as I pray yes I have fun...the nice part for me is I don't need to drink, do drugs, or any other substance to have fun. I am on as they call a high on life.....oh yeaaaaaa |
|
|
|
For those who have computer problems Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on The computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job. So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They faxed. They e-mailed. They e-mailed with attachments. They downloaded. They did spreadsheets! They wrote reports. They created labels and cards. They created charts and graphs. They did some genealogy reports They did every job known to man. Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell. Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: 'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!' Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate. 'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all His work and I don't have any?' God just shrugged and said, JESUS SAVES that was cute |
|
|
|
For those who have computer problems Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on The computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job. So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They faxed. They e-mailed. They e-mailed with attachments. They downloaded. They did spreadsheets! They wrote reports. They created labels and cards. They created charts and graphs. They did some genealogy reports They did every job known to man. Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell. Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: 'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!' Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate. 'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all His work and I don't have any?' God just shrugged and said, JESUS SAVES |
|
|
|
Mahan see Christians can even have a sense of humor,...lol I thought Christians spend all day praying and walking around as if they had pine cone stuffed up an orifice. God actually allows you to have fun? Dude, I take it you've never been with a naughty Catholic school girl? For shame...! Thank you Jesus! |
|
|
|
Mahan see Christians can even have a sense of humor,...lol I thought Christians spend all day praying and walking around as if they had pine cone stuffed up an orifice. God actually allows you to have fun? Dude, I take it you've never been with a naughty Catholic school girl? For shame...! Thank you Jesus! what does evolution say about men evolving from pigs???? (just kidding) |
|
|
|
All men are pigs, my dear yellowrose! No exception. Some filthier than others... And it has nothing to do with evolution or creation.
|
|
|
|
All men are pigs, my dear yellowrose! No exception. Some filthier than others... And it has nothing to do with evolution or creation. for the record...YOU said that |
|
|
|
All men are pigs, my dear yellowrose! No exception. Some filthier than others... And it has nothing to do with evolution or creation. I did, didn't I? You are very observant. I'm gonna hafta remember that about you. Among my random babblings, here are a couple of favorites... and you can quote me on these too! "With friends like you, who needs an enema?" -Mahan Mahan "...and then man created god in his own image." -Mahan Mahan |
|
|
|
this town needs an enima - the Joker
how can man evolve from pigs when I have heard people call them dogs and donkeys (the other name for one though) lol |
|
|
|
this town needs an enima - the Joker
how can man evolve from pigs when I have heard people call them dogs and donkeys (the other name for one though) lol |
|
|
|
this town needs an enima - the Joker how can man evolve from pigs when I have heard people call them dogs and donkeys (the other name for one though) lol Hey, aren't you Johnny's mom? I'd like to know you...! |
|
|
|
that's actually cute
psst...BTW, I'm a Christian too |
|
|
|
that's actually cute psst...BTW, I'm a Christian too I know,I've been following this thread. and so you know, I'm a born-again atheist! |
|
|
|
that's actually cute psst...BTW, I'm a Christian too I know,I've been following this thread. and so you know, I'm a born-again atheist! nice to meet you mr. born-again athiest |
|
|