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| Topic: lives with mom... | |
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i was born and raised in a traditional mexican family and yes the eldest is responsible for taking care of the parents which my mom does as she's the eldest. but even in any hispanic culture to live with mom/dad for so long that you're roots are as thick as the family tree.. then its just overboard. i mean independance can make a difference. but then thats just my opinion. regardless of culture. yeah i get what you are saying. but if someone has to do what they have to do to survive.. then by god do it. it beats homelessness... it beats the other crap that can come along. ya know? and yeah... basement troll. i'm stealin that. lol yeah he was just creepy. funny.. i met him on POF> Oh I'm On POF and have a date with someone from there tonight great now I'm going to have to ask the hard questions lol LOL yeah seriously. POF is a trip. i can tell you dating horror stories that would make your hair curl. lol Seriously...Crap lol don't stress. I guess I shoulda known the guy i'm going out with has kinda been stringing me along I think lol men huh who needs em lol |
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so .....why is it ....wrong....if having lived on their own for more than 30 yrs, raising their own family.....then returning to the Family home to help the very people who raised you. I moved from the east coast to here solely for to purpose of helping my brother care for our ailing parents. They both need daily care and they need help dealing with finances in this troubled economy. These are the people who cared for me when I ailed, put me tru my education so that I could be an independent person. After all they have done for me, I find it not the least bit awkward that in their last years,I would come "home" to give something back to them. my aren't we all so quick to ....Judge.... not really. not all. i mean judgement isn't my job. what you describe is a common factor and should be held in the highest respect because nothing is a bigger turn off than men who treat their parents badly. except mommas boys. but thats a whole other thread. I understand and respect your original point, but I do run into this alot. I work 60 + hrs a week, care for and see to the finances of my parents on a daily basis. I do it because they deserve it. We as a family do not put our old folks away. never have, never will. It is just something I believe in and do, and if someone does not understand that, it is their loss not mine. 
Ghost, you obviously are a person of high morals. I don't discount a person for living with their parents when they are simply giving back to them and their families. I would not judge a person for living with the folks unless they were moochers, which is CLEARLY not the case with you. |
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i was born and raised in a traditional mexican family and yes the eldest is responsible for taking care of the parents which my mom does as she's the eldest. but even in any hispanic culture to live with mom/dad for so long that you're roots are as thick as the family tree.. then its just overboard. i mean independance can make a difference. but then thats just my opinion. regardless of culture. yeah i get what you are saying. but if someone has to do what they have to do to survive.. then by god do it. it beats homelessness... it beats the other crap that can come along. ya know? and yeah... basement troll. i'm stealin that. lol yeah he was just creepy. funny.. i met him on POF> Oh I'm On POF and have a date with someone from there tonight great now I'm going to have to ask the hard questions lol LOL yeah seriously. POF is a trip. i can tell you dating horror stories that would make your hair curl. lol Seriously...Crap lol don't stress. I guess I shoulda known the guy i'm going out with has kinda been stringing me along I think lol men huh who needs em lol LOL i find the guys on POF to be the same as anywhere. most are lookin for tail and tail only. some dont' knwo what they want.. and some... some are at the creepy needy level. |
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so .....why is it ....wrong....if having lived on their own for more than 30 yrs, raising their own family.....then returning to the Family home to help the very people who raised you. I moved from the east coast to here solely for to purpose of helping my brother care for our ailing parents. They both need daily care and they need help dealing with finances in this troubled economy. These are the people who cared for me when I ailed, put me tru my education so that I could be an independent person. After all they have done for me, I find it not the least bit awkward that in their last years,I would come "home" to give something back to them. my aren't we all so quick to ....Judge.... not really. not all. i mean judgement isn't my job. what you describe is a common factor and should be held in the highest respect because nothing is a bigger turn off than men who treat their parents badly. except mommas boys. but thats a whole other thread. I understand and respect your original point, but I do run into this alot. I work 60 + hrs a week, care for and see to the finances of my parents on a daily basis. I do it because they deserve it. We as a family do not put our old folks away. never have, never will. It is just something I believe in and do, and if someone does not understand that, it is their loss not mine.
Ghost, you obviously are a person of high morals. I don't discount a person for living with their parents when they are simply giving back to them and their families. I would not judge a person for living with the folks unless they were moochers, which is CLEARLY not the case with you. [/quote Thank you very much.....it wasnt by desire,I'll admit, but my parents did it for theirs and so on and so on,it is what we believe. They did alot for us as kids,and in their current health and finances,it was what needed to be done. I would have chosen to bring them to me,but this has always been their home, and out of respect, I came here. I run into the sterotype all the time,and its really simple to me, if someone does not understand taking care of people who gave you life and a good one,them they are not the kind of people I want in mine anyway. JMO
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My son invited me to live with him to get out of a bad situation and also due to the economy. He wants me to stay until I get back on my feet. However even in my own mind... I feel weird. I am not at the nursing home age yet... LOL
His fiance and I get along pretty well and I job hunt every day that is not a holiday or a weekend. I have been here now for 23 days. Yes... I am counting. I do not consider him a momma's boy, however we are close. But he has his own mind, and out of everything good in my life... consider him one of my greatest blessings. He goes to school full time, works full time and also has a part time job. So in all reality... yes he lives with his mother, but really his mother lives with him... and I feel like the loser...  But on the other hand I am not a loser... because I have such a good son. 
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My son invited me to live with him to get out of a bad situation and also due to the economy. He wants me to stay until I get back on my feet. However even in my own mind... I feel weird. I am not at the nursing home age yet... LOL His fiance and I get along pretty well and I job hunt every day that is not a holiday or a weekend. I have been here now for 23 days. Yes... I am counting. I do not consider him a momma's boy, however we are close. But he has his own mind, and out of everything good in my life... consider him one of my greatest blessings. He goes to school full time, works full time and also has a part time job. So in all reality... yes he lives with his mother, but really his mother lives with him... and I feel like the loser... But on the other hand I am not a loser... because I have such a good son.
hell no you're not a loser. sh*t happens ya know? i mean i know so many people in the exact same situation and it sucks rocks. but you do what you must and in my eyes... what he did is soo much more beautiful then if it were reversed. i have no idea why. but its good to be strong for your parents. if my mom was in the same boat and i had the house, not her, she'd be living with me in a heartbeat. keep hunting and strive to fix it but damn... you are extremely lucky to have a son who will do that for you and a son's fiance who understands. some girls are just plain selfish. :) |
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My son invited me to live with him to get out of a bad situation and also due to the economy. He wants me to stay until I get back on my feet. However even in my own mind... I feel weird. I am not at the nursing home age yet... LOL His fiance and I get along pretty well and I job hunt every day that is not a holiday or a weekend. I have been here now for 23 days. Yes... I am counting. I do not consider him a momma's boy, however we are close. But he has his own mind, and out of everything good in my life... consider him one of my greatest blessings. He goes to school full time, works full time and also has a part time job. So in all reality... yes he lives with his mother, but really his mother lives with him... and I feel like the loser... But on the other hand I am not a loser... because I have such a good son.
you should be highly proud of him. i have a friend that her son helps with her bills, but she doesnt live with him, and he doesnt live with her.. you figure what the kid was when he was younger, and how he has become now its a huge change, for he was nothing but a trouble maker when he was little |
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My son invited me to live with him to get out of a bad situation and also due to the economy. He wants me to stay until I get back on my feet. However even in my own mind... I feel weird. I am not at the nursing home age yet... LOL His fiance and I get along pretty well and I job hunt every day that is not a holiday or a weekend. I have been here now for 23 days. Yes... I am counting. I do not consider him a momma's boy, however we are close. But he has his own mind, and out of everything good in my life... consider him one of my greatest blessings. He goes to school full time, works full time and also has a part time job. So in all reality... yes he lives with his mother, but really his mother lives with him... and I feel like the loser... But on the other hand I am not a loser... because I have such a good son.
You obviously did a Great job raising your Son.... and based on you comments,I have a great deal of respect for HIM!!!!
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Heck, I was the baby of six kids and nobody else would do it!!! Then when she died, they wondered why I got a little extra money!!! Hellllooooo, I quit my job and STILL paid the woman RENT to have the honor of singularly caring for her along with her house, my two kids, every chore and meal!!! Duh!!!
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My son invited me to live with him to get out of a bad situation and also due to the economy. He wants me to stay until I get back on my feet. However even in my own mind... I feel weird. I am not at the nursing home age yet... LOL His fiance and I get along pretty well and I job hunt every day that is not a holiday or a weekend. I have been here now for 23 days. Yes... I am counting. I do not consider him a momma's boy, however we are close. But he has his own mind, and out of everything good in my life... consider him one of my greatest blessings. He goes to school full time, works full time and also has a part time job. So in all reality... yes he lives with his mother, but really his mother lives with him... and I feel like the loser... But on the other hand I am not a loser... because I have such a good son.
You obviously did a Great job raising your Son.... and based on you comments,I have a great deal of respect for HIM!!!!
Thank you... Yes... I often tell him he is my greatest success in life...  However he always says "that isn't true,mom, you have a lot more"
But really he is. 
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My son invited me to live with him to get out of a bad situation and also due to the economy. He wants me to stay until I get back on my feet. However even in my own mind... I feel weird. I am not at the nursing home age yet... LOL His fiance and I get along pretty well and I job hunt every day that is not a holiday or a weekend. I have been here now for 23 days. Yes... I am counting. I do not consider him a momma's boy, however we are close. But he has his own mind, and out of everything good in my life... consider him one of my greatest blessings. He goes to school full time, works full time and also has a part time job. So in all reality... yes he lives with his mother, but really his mother lives with him... and I feel like the loser... But on the other hand I am not a loser... because I have such a good son.
hell no you're not a loser. sh*t happens ya know? i mean i know so many people in the exact same situation and it sucks rocks. but you do what you must and in my eyes... what he did is soo much more beautiful then if it were reversed. i have no idea why. but its good to be strong for your parents. if my mom was in the same boat and i had the house, not her, she'd be living with me in a heartbeat. keep hunting and strive to fix it but damn... you are extremely lucky to have a son who will do that for you and a son's fiance who understands. some girls are just plain selfish. :) Yes, I know I am so lucky... and his fiance was one of my biggest concerns at first... but my son flat out told me... if she don't like it, she will get over it. He said he would do the same for her if her parents ever had a rough time... But really she has been very good towards me also. I think she knows that she is getting a good and kind person in my boy. And she is lucky also.
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